I had a bit of a run in with a colleague the other day and the more I think about it, the more I’m worried I was in the wrong/overly sensitive
As a person she’s nice, we do the same job/same level but she’s more experienced/higher up the invisible but very well known pecking order IYSWIM! She’s been allowed to get away with things for years- not doing any work for the first hour because eating breakfast, sitting on her phone to avoid certain tasks during the day, avoiding doing any work after a certain time so she can leave early. It’s frustrating, annoying, but management just turn a blind eye to it because she’s their friend and our management don’t like confrontation and don’t want drama. Everyone talks about how frustrating her behaviour is but nobody does anything about it. It impacts on us all because we all have to pick up the pieces and cover her
this person was my professional leader when I was a new grad and it was awful. Didnt teach me anything, frequently got annoyed when I made mistakes, made me feel stupid, wouldn’t help or do anything she was paid extra to do. I basically had to do it all myself. We’re now friends (at work) but I’ve never forgotten how I was treated. As you can imagine I’m desperate to leave, but have to stay for a while longer because of contract reasons
anyway, the other day a junior collegue was asking me a questions. I answered what I thought was correct, but later while in my office overheard my colleague pulling the junior colleague into the office and laughing about how wrong I was, how I said it with such certainty and how she was sitting there thinking ‘what is she even talking about?!’ Then she lowered her voice and started talking about me- i can’t remember the exact wording, and I don’t want to misquote, but it was along the lines not to trust me/im clueless/I think I know more than I do. It hurt so, so much.
Once I finished my task I went and spoke to her about it. I made it clear I wasn’t happy the way she spoke about me behind my back (and our soundproofing isn’t perfect so I heard everything). It sort of took off from there- she kept saying there’s nothing wrong with making a mistake, my point was that I DONT mind being wrong, I actually get corrected for things all the time because nobody’s perfect, but as an adult why wouldn’t you just let me know? She was literally sitting on her phone listening so could have easily spoken up? Instead of mocking me or talking shit about me to someone else? I just felt it was a mean thing to do. I HATE confrontation so at this point I was trying so hard not to cry haha, but I dug in that I just felt it was a mean way to go about it and I dunno it just stung a bit and didn’t sit well with me. She said it was just a bit of fun and a joke but I dug in that I didn’t see it that way, particularly since it was behind my back.
she apologised and it’s over now, we’ve moved on, but the general vibe was that I was being a bit sensitive and it was sort of ‘sorry you got upset’ vibe rather than sorry for what happened. The more I’ve stewed on it, the more I’m a bit worried I’ve embarrassed myself or been silly/sensitive and I’m that person getting upset that my feelings were hurt for nothing, and that the above context clouded my annoyance
ahh, sorry it’s long, just wondered if anyone could please give me some perspective on it? Thanks x