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Original poster

Worried sick in hospital with DS

85 replies

stitty · 14/11/2025 05:11

a week and a half ago my 8m old was eating toast in his high chair while I was sat infront of him watching him of course. He started to gag and was struggling with a big bit of toast that I could see at the back of his throat, it wouldn’t go down and it also wouldn’t come out. In a panic I pulled him out of his high chair to do back blows. It came to the front of his mouth I pulled it out all was good. When I pulled him out the high chair in a hurry his thigh got caught on the high chair tray. He didn’t cry so I thought nothing of it but noticed the bruise the next day. (It’s about the size of a 5p coin) DS was fine in himself so I didn’t seek medical attention.

fast forward to today DS had his 8m HV review and she noted down that he had a bruise and asked how, I told her and she said these things happen etc. later on she called me and said as he is non mobile (not walking yet) her boss has said she needs to call social services and refer us.

Around 9pm I get a call from emergency social services requesting I take him straight to a&e to have a top to toe check done by a consultant. I got to a&e and the dr said it’s tiny and no other marks he’s fine. Then sent the report to SS. SS then request we go to the ward and get signed of by a consultant on the ward before we can leave. Obviously midnight by now so no consultant available but the junior doctor checked him and said SS have reported ‘multiple marks on the body’ there’s not multiple. It’s just the one bruise. Dr noted down one small bruise and a little redness in anus area - he has that almost always as he’s on comfort milk so has wet poos. It’s not a rash as such but can be a little red if he’s pooed a few times in the day.

the Junior dr requested we stay here so the consultant can see my son and ‘relevant authorities’ decide what next. I am worried out of my mind. He’s never had any marks on him before and we have seen the GP multiple times through his life where they’ve stripped him down and they’ve seen nothing.

I suffer with PP anxiety as it is and I’m spiralling that SS think I’m some evil mother and would hurt my child purposely and they’ll take him away from me. Has anyone been through this? Please tell me everything was fine and we will go home soon with our lovely DS 😢

OP posts:
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Original poster
stitty · 15/11/2025 11:22

@itsgettingweird thanks the social worker see how he moves when she came and wrote it all in her report. She also had a chat with the dr before me about what she thinks etc. they were both super kind and understanding!

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 15/11/2025 10:47

So glad everything is resolved now. What a worry for you though.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 15/11/2025 10:40

Beedeeoh · 14/11/2025 22:59

I'm not disputing the investigation should be carried out. The poor practice element is in treating it as an emergency and asking op to present at a&e at 9pm. The social worker has now confirmed that shouldn't have happened.

Show quote history

Exactly this.

aWeeCornishPastie · 15/11/2025 06:53

Am sorry your going through this massive over reaction on social services part

itsgettingweird · 15/11/2025 06:09

stitty · 14/11/2025 06:57

@NearlyDec he isn’t crawling properly yet but he does move around loads. He pushes himself backwards and gets under my sofa! He rolls around absolutely everywhere and gets on his hands and knees then flops himself back down. He sits up then throws himself back down/to the side
I feel so nervous now to let him have free range to explore the floor incase he knocks himself and I get in trouble as Although he’s non mobile according to SS , he does actually move around still and can knock himself on furniture etc.

You can tell the Dr this when he or she comes round. You can even ask them to observe him moving around the floor and out it in his report that he’s early mobile.

MCF86 · 15/11/2025 02:03

stitty · 15/11/2025 00:07

@Somuchgoo he was a whopper when born too - I had a c section🤣 because he’s so tall he doesn’t really look chubby , just so long😅 he was born at 60cm. My friends baby was born 2 weeks after and he was only just 41cm. My son looks like a toddler compared to hers. He’s a wide build like his dad. He’s like a mini version😆

my son also had a 99th centile head. I did not have a C Section 😭😭🤣

I'm really pleased to see this ordeal was already over by the time I read this OP. It must have been awful x

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 15/11/2025 01:36

Honestly, every time I read the latest serious case review I wonder just what the hell you'd have to do to make SS take action.

I think you'd be pretty unlucky if they separated you from your DS for a little nappy rash and a bruise, when you think of some of the injuries they've signed off on. I know I'm being unfair in saying this, but still.

DarkLion · 15/11/2025 01:10

Reading this really took me back to when I went through something similar when I was 19 and it traumatised me at the time. Like parent with a 1 year old and I relied on a mums group for support as was very lonely. Posted a picture one night as my son had come out in scratches and a rash. Few weeks later woken at midnight with a social worker and 2 police officers who demanded I strip my son naked and commented that he wasn’t very happy at being woken up because he was crying. I was absoloutely terrified I’d lose him. I had the advice I had to take him to a medical professional first thing to be checked and I then noticed my son had a small bruise on his leg.

The gp was dumbfounded and said he had eczema so had clearly been scratching at night and when I mentioned I was worried because he also had a bruise on his leg, the doctor commented in a baby starting to walk, he’d be more concerned if he didn’t have bruises. He also told me because of the cases with baby p etc, in his view social services were more overcautious because of the backlash they faced on missed abuse. Literally as soon as I’d had that consultation I had a phone call from social services closing the case, but my dad did also take me to the hospital with my son so we also had a second medical opinion.

im a nurse now and know from safeguarding training that any bruising in areas hard to bruise raise suspicion but I’ve never forgotten what a lonely terrifying time it was and it certainly made me more wary of what I asked online. I was young and felt judged at the time. I understand more now the safeguarding procedures but it’s still the most terrifying time in your life as a parent

Norwegianwood35 · 15/11/2025 00:40

CharlieWeasleysWife · 14/11/2025 14:23

FGS, what an absolute over reaction from SS. I hope you're home soon OP. And well done for reacting entirely appropriately when he choked. You sound like a brilliant mum.

I don’t think it’s an overreaction from SS, it’s an overreaction from the HV. I think as it has been escalated from health, SS are duty bound to investigate

Original poster
stitty · 15/11/2025 00:07

@Somuchgoo he was a whopper when born too - I had a c section🤣 because he’s so tall he doesn’t really look chubby , just so long😅 he was born at 60cm. My friends baby was born 2 weeks after and he was only just 41cm. My son looks like a toddler compared to hers. He’s a wide build like his dad. He’s like a mini version😆

OP posts:
Somuchgoo · 15/11/2025 00:03

FoxLoxInSox · 14/11/2025 22:45

Bare in mine he’s 99th centile and weighs 2 stone 3lbs

Was this a typo, OP? Your 8 month old baby weighs 31lbs? If not a typo then what did the consultant paediatrician and the SW say about it?

I find it baffling!
My 6.5yo (admittedly underweight) weights only 4 pounds more than a 8 month old baby.

Not the point of this thread, but wowsers!!!

Original poster
stitty · 14/11/2025 23:58

@Butterflyarmsthe SW told me to log a complaint to the county council about the emergency duty SW. especially since she questioned why we live in a different area to where we grew up as it wasn’t an investigation so it’s basically none of her business and made me feel like I was being accused of being dodgy!

OP posts:
Butterflyarms · 14/11/2025 23:42

Okay, someone has lost the plot somewhere. This is complete overreach. I don't know what you do to avoid ever having contact with them again but I'd be taking steps because this is almost mendacious.

maralagagirl · 14/11/2025 23:17

I get it OP. My DS was born 10 pounds 4. He is still solid . He's the exact sme body shape as his father. Glad you got all the drama sorted. No wonder other kids get no help if they worry about a bruise like that in the middle of the night. Social workers son't seem to be very good at picking the good from the bad. Maybe they should start employing psychologists as a check and balance.

Flupiness · 14/11/2025 23:03

WHAT! My daughter was 3.5 before she reached that weight - and she’s not a small thing!

Beedeeoh · 14/11/2025 22:59

Toddlerteaplease · 14/11/2025 22:29

It’s not poor practice at all. They have done the right thing. Bit surprised they have been put in a side room. Safeguarding cases should ideally be out on the open ward. If this is the genuine story, then the OP has thong to worry about and the case will likely be closed. But better safe than sorry.

Show quote history

I'm not disputing the investigation should be carried out. The poor practice element is in treating it as an emergency and asking op to present at a&e at 9pm. The social worker has now confirmed that shouldn't have happened.

Original poster
stitty · 14/11/2025 22:52

@FoxLoxInSoxno not a typo. He was born 99th centile and is now 99.6th centile for weight. Btw he’s 80cm long and has the 99th centile head to match! His dad is 6’2. I’m 5’8. As he hasn’t majorly jumped centile HV is happy.

OP posts:
FoxLoxInSox · 14/11/2025 22:45

Bare in mine he’s 99th centile and weighs 2 stone 3lbs

Was this a typo, OP? Your 8 month old baby weighs 31lbs? If not a typo then what did the consultant paediatrician and the SW say about it?

goldenskiesandsilverlarks · 14/11/2025 22:37

BringBackCatsEyes · 14/11/2025 22:31

I'm so glad to read your update OP. The size of that bruise and your open explanation to the HV should not have resulted in an emergency referral.

given everything in the news lately is it a surprise?

BringBackCatsEyes · 14/11/2025 22:31

I'm so glad to read your update OP. The size of that bruise and your open explanation to the HV should not have resulted in an emergency referral.

Toddlerteaplease · 14/11/2025 22:29

Beedeeoh · 14/11/2025 05:44

If there's genuinely nothing more to this then that's poor practice on behalf of social services, it's not an emergency and you shouldn't have been asked to go in the middle of the night, it's disproportionate. I hope it's all sorted for you quickly in the morning.

It’s not poor practice at all. They have done the right thing. Bit surprised they have been put in a side room. Safeguarding cases should ideally be out on the open ward. If this is the genuine story, then the OP has thong to worry about and the case will likely be closed. But better safe than sorry.

Tanya901 · 14/11/2025 22:20

@stitty That's brilliant 💜

youalright · 14/11/2025 22:06

Im so pleased its all sorted and your now home with with your little boy. You did everything right and sound an amazing mum ❤️

Teathecolourofcreosote · 14/11/2025 22:05

Glad it's all sorted.

I think you were just unlucky because of the location of the bruise. If it was an arm or something they might bang themselves you probably wouldn't have been referred.

The centre of the thigh is more unusual for a non mobile baby.

But don't stress yourself over future bruises once he's on the go. The criteria then will be very different.

Fightingdragonswithyou · 14/11/2025 22:01

A bruise on a non mobile baby automatically needs a paediatric assessment.
It's basic safeguarding so HV right to ask for it.

I know it's awful for you but the protocols are there to protect littke children.