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Original poster

To take this further? GP negligence

68 replies

Lavenduhhh · 13/11/2025 23:55

In brief: 10 months ago I took my DC for a GP appt to gain a referral for an ongoing, debilitating issue. Was told wait list 6-12mths. Fine. Called today to see where we are on the list as it's become a more immediate/urgent concern. GP hasn't done referral. Not an admin error, GP forgot.

Am actually devastated. Lodged a full formal complaint with them and also the ICB. Considering MP and press - unsure why, I don't want attention, I want recognition for the fact this is disgusting. My child has actively declined during this last 10 month period. To me, it amounts of negligence.

I'm actually so upset I can't sleep. My child is medically complex and always has been. Advocating for them medically and educationally for over a decade has damn near killed me.

Should I take this further? If so, how? We will almost definitely end up going private for the referral and my DPs might part-fund. It shouldn't come to this. The GP in question is very senior.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:32

interstellarnova · 14/11/2025 00:29

One of our DC was referred for a scan on a two week wait to rule out cancer. Our GP said we should hear very quickly with the appointment details but after six weeks of following up with the hospital I was told there were no appointments for the foreseeable future and it could be several months. We spoke to our MP and received an appointment the same week. With my cynical hat on, this all happened just before an election, but in any case he obviously had the contacts to make it happen. I would therefore definitely speak to them if there is any question over your DS being put 10 months into the waiting list.

All the best to you and your son, OP 💐

Thank you, I've emailed my local mp just now who seems to be abit of a force of nature just based on a brief 10min read.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:31

Thunderpants88 · 14/11/2025 00:25

I think it would have been a much better approach to get a face to face with the doctor, explain how worried and upset you are and give them a week of grace to get your daughter to where she would have been on the waiting list. It likely would have resulted in you getting your daughter seen. With the action you have taken you will likely have hurt the GP and got the practices back up, which isn’t what you want if you daughter is going to need ongoing medical help.

too later now but I would put the breaks on an see of there is a calmer and more empathetic way to get what you want. Also if you earn well enough and could pay privately I don’t know why you would let her suffer for a year to save £200. To me that is madness.

Where have you had £200 from? I wish it was so little!!

OP posts:
interstellarnova · 14/11/2025 00:29

One of our DC was referred for a scan on a two week wait to rule out cancer. Our GP said we should hear very quickly with the appointment details but after six weeks of following up with the hospital I was told there were no appointments for the foreseeable future and it could be several months. We spoke to our MP and received an appointment the same week. With my cynical hat on, this all happened just before an election, but in any case he obviously had the contacts to make it happen. I would therefore definitely speak to them if there is any question over your DS being put 10 months into the waiting list.

All the best to you and your son, OP 💐

Thunderpants88 · 14/11/2025 00:25

I think it would have been a much better approach to get a face to face with the doctor, explain how worried and upset you are and give them a week of grace to get your daughter to where she would have been on the waiting list. It likely would have resulted in you getting your daughter seen. With the action you have taken you will likely have hurt the GP and got the practices back up, which isn’t what you want if you daughter is going to need ongoing medical help.

too later now but I would put the breaks on an see of there is a calmer and more empathetic way to get what you want. Also if you earn well enough and could pay privately I don’t know why you would let her suffer for a year to save £200. To me that is madness.

Original poster
Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:18

Libellousness · 14/11/2025 00:14

They have no concrete powers, but if you have a good MP, they will likely have a strong relationship with the local NHS Trust and may be able to explain the situation and pull strings. Some of them - if they have invested time in relationship building - have a lot of local influence and can really help break through bureaucracy.

Show quote history

Thank you. I will follow this up!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:18

WutheringBites · 14/11/2025 00:13

I’m a GP and a parent/carer, so I get both sides. Tbh it’s scenarios like this happening that make me exhausted by GP; it’s horribly easy in an overstretched system to miss something like a referral - I try to make extra lists & double check, but it’s can just get lost in the overwhelm of all the things to deal with. I wish we had more time for each patient & better support.
What are you hoping to achieve by publicising this error, OP?

Thanks for your reply
My motivation is mainly that my DC is seen assp, and secondarily that awareness is brought/that the GP is held accountable - I'm absolutely exhausted from having to become unreasonable before anybody listens to me (regarding this DC). I'm worn down by it. It makes me wonder what happens to the children whose parents aren't able or willing to be fierce for them. It makes me angry.

I'm not a natural complainer - I'm a peaceful and private person, but raising this child has made me always have to be That Parent and it's a role I never wanted.

OP posts:
Libellousness · 14/11/2025 00:14

Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:12

I'm asking what it would achieve because I don't know what powers a local MP has? Not trying to be sarky

Show quote history

They have no concrete powers, but if you have a good MP, they will likely have a strong relationship with the local NHS Trust and may be able to explain the situation and pull strings. Some of them - if they have invested time in relationship building - have a lot of local influence and can really help break through bureaucracy.

WutheringBites · 14/11/2025 00:13

I’m a GP and a parent/carer, so I get both sides. Tbh it’s scenarios like this happening that make me exhausted by GP; it’s horribly easy in an overstretched system to miss something like a referral - I try to make extra lists & double check, but it’s can just get lost in the overwhelm of all the things to deal with. I wish we had more time for each patient & better support.
What are you hoping to achieve by publicising this error, OP?

Libellousness · 14/11/2025 00:12

Agree with @BatFeminist re contacting your MP - if you have a good one, they may well be able to help get your child bumped up the waiting list.

They have no disciplinary power over GPs, however, so this would not be a retributive step.

Original poster
Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:12

Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:11

What would that achieve? My main aim is to improve the outcome for my DC, which realistically means getting that referral and being seen on the NHS in the next 8 weeks. Even going private we are looking at a 3mths wait and exorbitant cost.

Show quote history

I'm asking what it would achieve because I don't know what powers a local MP has? Not trying to be sarky

OP posts:
Original poster
Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:11

BatFeminist · 14/11/2025 00:09

You may not get press coverage but any MP worth their salt will intervene on your behalf

What would that achieve? My main aim is to improve the outcome for my DC, which realistically means getting that referral and being seen on the NHS in the next 8 weeks. Even going private we are looking at a 3mths wait and exorbitant cost.

OP posts:
BatFeminist · 14/11/2025 00:09

You may not get press coverage but any MP worth their salt will intervene on your behalf

Original poster
Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:08

Libellousness · 14/11/2025 00:05

Kindly, I don’t imagine you’ll be able to attract much press interest. This sort of thing happens all the time but never makes the headlines. If someone dies because of a missed referral, that is newsworthy, but a general decline is not, especially when there’s every chance your child wouldn’t have been seen yet anyway if the referral had gone in.

Also, even if you could get your local paper involved, would your child be happy to have their medical and educational struggles exposed for all their friends/classmates to gossip about? Your child cannot consent to that, and it would be wrong of you to expose them to it.

The GP isn’t going to suffer any serious sanctions for this. I’m sorry, but it’s true - it’ll be at most a slap on the wrist. You need to focus on the best outcome for your child rather than retribution. Push the GP to pull strings at the hospital and get your child bumped up the waiting list to make up for their mistake.

Really sound advice thank you, this is exactly the sort of thing I needed to read while having a midnight meltdown, it's kind and rational. Thank you. Realistically I wouldn't go to the press, I'm an extremely private person and my DC cannot consent, as you say. It's the anger talking.

OP posts:
Libellousness · 14/11/2025 00:05

Kindly, I don’t imagine you’ll be able to attract much press interest. This sort of thing happens all the time but never makes the headlines. If someone dies because of a missed referral, that is newsworthy, but a general decline is not, especially when there’s every chance your child wouldn’t have been seen yet anyway if the referral had gone in.

Also, even if you could get your local paper involved, would your child be happy to have their medical and educational struggles exposed for all their friends/classmates to gossip about? Your child cannot consent to that, and it would be wrong of you to expose them to it.

The GP isn’t going to suffer any serious sanctions for this. I’m sorry, but it’s true - it’ll be at most a slap on the wrist. You need to focus on the best outcome for your child rather than retribution. Push the GP to pull strings at the hospital and get your child bumped up the waiting list to make up for their mistake.

Original poster
Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:04

Breadandbutta · 13/11/2025 23:59

Kindly OP, I voted yabu. I personally would've called to check the referral had been done, especially if my child's health was declining. Do you have DLA for your child because of their needs? If so, can you consider using the DLA to go private? Even if it is just a private consultation with the relevant consultant for a couple of hundred pounds, then ask them to refer into the NHS for next stage treatment?

GPs are human and accidents happen. It sucks, but they didn't do it on purpose.

I hope your DC is ok.

Thank you. I emailed them about 3 weeks after the appt to check they received the paperwork they requested from me and that the referral was going ahead. The receptionist stated they'd received and sent it all through to the GP to complete the referral. I absolutely am kicking myself for not following this up since then, but honestly don't feel that should be necessary. But then I've always had to be dogged with amything to do with this DC and the system literally doesn't not give a fuck, so my bad I guess?
Yes there's DLA, its used every month in full for DCs needs , I earn decently so I can just afford the referral if needed - but it'll come at the cost of something else.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lavenduhhh · 14/11/2025 00:00

purpleme12 · 13/11/2025 23:59

Well I think you should definitely lodge a formal complaint

Surely the GP should be able to push this through so you're seen quicker given what's happened?

Yes I lodged a formal written complaint with the surgery and the ICB within the hour. I have asked the surgery to complete the referral and try to ensure we are at top of list, or 10 months in (so waiting the 2 months if needs be) since this is their error. We shall see.

OP posts:
Breadandbutta · 13/11/2025 23:59

Kindly OP, I voted yabu. I personally would've called to check the referral had been done, especially if my child's health was declining. Do you have DLA for your child because of their needs? If so, can you consider using the DLA to go private? Even if it is just a private consultation with the relevant consultant for a couple of hundred pounds, then ask them to refer into the NHS for next stage treatment?

GPs are human and accidents happen. It sucks, but they didn't do it on purpose.

I hope your DC is ok.

purpleme12 · 13/11/2025 23:59

Well I think you should definitely lodge a formal complaint

Surely the GP should be able to push this through so you're seen quicker given what's happened?

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