To think if you earn this, it doesn’t matter your circumstances, you’re still bloody privileged?!

Absolutely this. I’m a high earner but I’m very conscious that if I lose my job (which actually did happen to me last year through redundancy) there is no other salary coming in to pay the bills. So I save a significant amount of money each month to give myself a safety net. When I was out of work all I saw was my savings depleting day after day and I knew there was a finite point where it would run out. It’s terrifying. Plus I live in the SE so my mortgage is huge. My salary on paper sounds amazing but in reality I don’t have that much disposable income

I wouldn't say that salary is privileged. It enough to cover essentials, bills, a holiday, savings and a few tears without stressing too much

Have you taken into account that the tax take on two minimum wage jobs is much lower than the tax take on one higher wage? Plus the single higher earner loses some child benefit whereas two lower earners do not.

It’s really not less than two adults earning minimum wage - I think you’ve got your sums wrong somewhere. The OP is talking about take home pay for a start…

Come on OP, spill some details about where she lives and all, so that we don’t wonder whether you’re just kite flying….

It’s a gross salary of about £70k plus the CM. It’s much more than 2 adults on NMW. Assuming my understanding of take home pay is the same as OPs (ie net pay).

She can still feel the pinch if she has high outgoings and can be as tight as she likes but its a reasonably high salary.

I think you are the one being “mean spirited” op. She’s a single parent, she works, and will pay a load of tax on that salary. I’m not seeing the “privilege”.

The best thing to do is buy her similar gifts & don't buy her coffees etc

Also 250 is really not very much to house, clothe, care and generally provide for a child. She sounds like she must be burnt out.

Having been a single parent on a similar income I felt very, very stretched. Particularly as there is no back stop and she needs to provide no matter what. It's really hard to be a single mum op. If you haven't been through it you can only imagine how terrifying it can be. I imagine she is constantly trying to keep some money in a pot for worst case scenarios. Yabu.

She will be paying all household outgoings/car/petrol/meals out and so on out of one wage. You can split those with your partner. People don’t realise the premium single people have to pay to cover the same expenses as a couple.

Even if she's saving a reasonable amount each week (for holidays, a new car, home improvements, university costs) that's her business, not yours. Everyone makes choices about their spending. For example, I dislike buying individual bottled drinks or freqent coffees when out because I don't see them as good value for money, but I'll go on holidays that cost thousands. If she doesn't return your favours, don't give them.

There's a big difference between having household income of c. £5k where a) you have a stay at home spouse to take care of the childcare (wraparound if in school), house maintenance, life admin, emergency care, fall-back option, etc. at no extra cost and b) having to buy in any or all of that help out of the same amount.

Not to mention there being no second adult as a potential back up plan for income should you fall ill, be made redundant etc. I hope she has good insurance.

If you resent a disparity of spending, the answer is to cut back on what you offer, not expect her to spend beyond what she is comfortable doing in order to match you.

So we have a takeaway home pay of 3300 per month. Don't have a mortgage- that's for DH, me and a child ... We manage to save between 1000- 1300 per month..... So to me that's loads more than necessary.....

She’ll be on a decent salary, but doesn’t sound like “privileged” territory to me. Should be enough for 2 people to live on. We don’t have masses more for 4 of us and I think we are quite comfortable! But it depends on outgoings of course. Just inwardly roll your eyes and let her get on with it.

When one parent is a SAHM parent there are no childcare costs. Someone has time to cook from scratch, and clean, and handle all the crap that a single working parent in a stressful job can't do. Stop being so judgemental

What’s the point of the thread if you just disagree with everyone?

Stock answer.

I have DD5 and get just less than £300 child maintenance. I earn less than your sister but potentially live in a cheaper area of the country. It's all relative. The difference is that if 1 of you lost your job then you might be able to get a mortgage holiday and cover essentials on 1 wage. Im looking into an income protection policy at ££ a month to give us the same security. An extra £600 a month is a lot because costs don't halve with 1 adult and 1 child in the house. Also, if she has her DD full time it all costs. Wraparound care is an extra £35 a week when my parents are on holiday because I need 2 breakfast club and 2 extra afterschool clubs. I wfh 4 days a week!

Your household income is more than hers? An extra adult and child doesn’t increase the cost of running a household very much at all.

I also think that most single parents have the pressure to know they need to save everything they can because there is no back up or safely net if something happens to their job.

It could be that she takes unpaid leave during school holidays but otherwise it’s about £60 per day here which is almost £2000 just if the summer holidays.

£1400 a month and you can run a home and support a teenager.
May I ask what your outgoings are?
I am facing a big reduction in income/lifestyle and could do with some advice/tips.

I think you are underestimating how much the second parent picks up to save money eg wraparound care at my child’s school is £28 per day so £140 per week of £5500 for the academic year. A second parent can cover that time so childcare isn’t needed at all. That’s just one example.