To think if you earn this, it doesn’t matter your circumstances, you’re still bloody privileged?!

Thank you. This is also my life - don’t expect tiny violins but the lack of understanding about the costs of single parenting - immediate and opportunity costs - really grinds my gears actually.

People’s reactions to this level of income does annoy me. It’s not so black and white with people’s out goings vs what part of the country you’re living in.
I can earn up to £4K a month (self employed) however my mortgage is £2k, bills and groceries around £500 all in all and then there’s the train fare (£30 a day), nursery fees, petrol, insurances etc etc on top of that.
You’d be surprised how quickly that money evaporates.
I think my point is we should all be kinder to one another and not think people are “bad with money” or “mean” if it’s a struggle, even though on paper you appear to be well paid!

Its probably not less than 2 adults earning minimum wage but it is not far off at all. Example, I get around £67k p/a, and my take home after discounting the child benefit I need to repay, and my pension contributions, is around £3700 pcm. Two earners doing same hours as me, at £13ph, just above minimum wage, and paying the same employee pension contribution as me, would take home £1785 each per month. And keep all child benefit.

She presumably works hard. And primarily does the parenting juggle by herself. Would you want to swap her life for yours?

and I’d guess that her outgoings are substantial. Mortgage of 990. I imagine she’s heavily insured to safeguard against losing her income. She possibly saves as much as she can to cover potential further education costs because the £250 contribution from the other parent implies she’ll not be getting a huge contribution when the time comes.

what are her commute costs? Childcare? Home maintenance? Running a car?

try not to be jealous OP. I’d be incredibly hurt if I was your sis and discovered you felt this way.

I think she earns enough to pay for her own share of coffee and ice lollies, she does not need to be subsidised by her family but your title is a bit misleading/clic baiting

Stop the working hard tripe.
I earn £1800 a month, and I literally wipe arses all day. I work hard

I raised my son as a single parent on an overdraft.
Worked full time and didn't live extravagantly. Month to month and not in a position to save.
I think OP's sister is on a very good salary, including considering outgoings

It’s a good salary and way above average but it could be tight depending on where she lives and if she’s renting.

In my unfashionable London suburb rent on a small 2 bed property is £1800. The rest goes fast with bills, travel, food and all the other shit.

No, it's not a lot for a single parent house. I take home around £4400 and am in a double income family. I've looked at my expenditure tracker and If I were to fund all expenses for the household (excluding money spent for my husband) for 1 of my children, I would have about £213 per month spare on average over the last calendar year. £213 per month spare in a year that I haven't had to replace my car or repair the roof/deal with emergency expenses. I could easily dip into debt if I had any emergencies on that single salary. Your sister is sensible to look after her money.

Yes, on paper, £4k+ pcm seems a lot. But, remember, £1k of that will be gone on mortgage. Then, what about her commuting costs, childcare, any debt/loans, etc. It adds up.
I'm a single person household on £3k take home per month, and I don't manage to save much, after mortgage, car loan, commuting, etc. - and I don't have a child to pay for. I imagine she would need a bigger property than me, for example.
As others have said, comparison is the thief of joy; but equally, she shouldn't be accepting coffees/drinks, and never paying her share when it comes around.

Really???????
Everyone's perception of what is alot /not a lot is different.
I think it's unfair that she doesn't buy rounds of coffee / ice-cream etc when she is out,like other family members do

4K+ isn’t that much money?
it’s double what I earn and I don’t feel hard up!

Comparison is the stealer of joy, OP. It really is none of your business

I take home more than that and as a single parent in a London commuter town, with one child in uni and another one still in school, a massive mortgage on my modest 3 bed semi, and 1 x 1 week foreign holiday with my children per year, I don’t have a penny left at the end of the month and I certainly don’t feel well off.

Yabu.

I took home a similar amount as a single parent, after bills, food, fuel, childcare and my mortgage was taken out I wasn’t left with a great deal.

it’s the same as two people earning £30000 a year which is only about £5000 a year over minimum wage.

If she were to be made redundant she would have no one to fall back on, so I’m not surprised that she’s careful with her money and expect she tries to save some each month. She sounds very sensible.

How? Minimum wage is £25.4k, £4200 take home is about £70k

It’s not privileged. As it’s not handed to her. Presumably, you could have earned this if you had made different choices as presumably you had the same upbringing. You sound incredibly jealous.

I earn the same but have huge outgoings. I could downsize, change to a smaller older car, and have less holidays but choose not too.

40 hours a week on minimum wage equals a take home pay of £1800, so she is certainly earning more than 2 x that.

It depends on her outgoings. She’d be wise to save lots given they are reliant on one income. Similar to other pps we have high income on paper but in reality it’s eaten up through things we’ve chosen- mostly pensions as both self employed so no workplace option. It’s a question of priorities. She’s not privileged but her money has been earnt! In not sure why you use the word privilege as it’s not a given surely it’s her earnings.

This. Single parents have same mortgage costs, council tax, utilities bills, wifi and home maintenance costs as couples, the same costs for children's clothing, clubs etc, but with only one income. You may buy her and her daughter a coffee or ice lolly or Christmas presents, but then she has to buy double that to treat your family, despite having less income than you. Don't count pennies when you are with her - just enjoy each other's company. If you can't afford to sub her, say let's each pay for our own.

If she still has full time child care to pay for, 250 is barely a contribution. Even if the child is in school, covering before and aftercare plus breaks is expensive. The father isn’t coming anywhere close to paying half of a child’s expenses. If I were her I would be very cautious with money.

I agree she is privledged but don’t agree it’s mean spirited, I’d think cautious and even savvy (a coffee out now is a huge waste of money)

Well yeah, you have a grand a month more for similar outgoings, so of course it’s ‘enough’ for you even if it’s a struggle for her. You’re not paying double rent/mortgage, double council tax, double utilities, so the comparison is null and void.

i take home slightly less than she does as a single parent, with no maintenance, and it’s a daily, penny pinching, exhausting struggle. No car, no heating, cooking from scratch, walking everywhere. I’m glad you’re doing well on your two parent, two income household, but you clearly have no idea how much of a mental and financial grind single parenting is.

Do you not spend that amount as you have two duration the hh to share childcare?
I have one DD3 and get similar CM. Her nursery fees alone are £500/month including tax free discount and free hours. And that’s before I’ve fed, housed or clothed her,