To think if you earn this, it doesn’t matter your circumstances, you’re still bloody privileged?!

That’s a pointless comment given you don’t anything about that person other than they are a single parent.
Someone on a lower take home salary can be in a much more fortunate position.

where have you got that figure from? the poster states the sisters take home pay is £4200 a month .take home pay is after after tax.

@RhaenysRocks i've not said anything about someone deserving that level of income, i am highlighting that mumsnet has a lot of high income users (which is evident from some of the responses to this ) and someone having £3300 a month after mortgage costs is in a fortunate position compared to the average single earner.

This privilege business is being taken to the extreme nowadays. You can easily find someone in a better position than you and then claim they are privileged.

The only way to ensure no privilege from working is that everyone gets to keep the same amount from their wages and hands the rest over to the state. The surplus can be given to those who cannot work so they have the same amount as those who worked and used for public services.

Yes

For food/bills/transport/activities/savings/clothes/shoes/haircut/dentist/subscription/energy/emergencies/repairs/gifts?

Yes, because they will have done whatever is needed to earn that salary. Not to derail but I get very fed up with this assertion that just because someone on NMW may also work hard, someone on a better salary is privileged or entitled.

The remaining amount is over £1000 still

There's a lot of assumptions in that post. We know nothing at all about any of what you have presumed and implied. It almost sounds as though you think she shouldn't have the temerity to earn more than the median if she's not a "worthwhile" professional. The point is that the median salary of 39k becomes 78k in a joint household, which won't have double the outgoings.

Are you really saying that people who work aren’t privileged? Because they work. I mean I get your point if you’re talking about someone earning £20k a year. Nobody is privileged on that.

But there does come a point where someone’s work is the very thing that makes them privileged because of the comfortable lifestyle it allows them to have.

It’s not that though. It’s that the mortgage and childcare takes up over 75% so the remaining amount isn’t a lot

These responses are a bit of an eyeopener with people saying that it's not that much

£4200 take home isn't that much. My DH brings home more than that and I'm not far off, no DC at home either.

Even if her outgoings from the remaining £3460 after mortgage payments are very high, she must be in dire straits if she can't take her turn to buy a coffee or a small treat for the kids. If I couldn't afford to take my turn to pay, I'd buy a packet of biscuits and invite you round to mine for a coffee.

As a single parent I bring home a little more. I don't skimp, but I'm by no means privileged. I work hard, really bloody hard. I parent a lot from the car (teens) often leaving the house before 6am and not getting back until gone 6.

My mortgage is huge on a very basic 3 bed terrace - thanks to divorce in my 40's and living in an expensive part of the country.

I suspect your sister, like myself has no one else to rely on financially so doesn't have the luxury of flittering away her earnings.

Is it before or after tax?

She probably has same household costs bills as you and your dh pretty much.

@vellichoria the sister pays £900 for their mortgage…so after mortgage they still have £3300 for all other living costs. The child is also 4 and I presume in school and also sees their other parent sometimes? Obviously the op may be blithely unaware of her sisters other outgoings…but I would say if someone has left a dual very high income relationship then they might feel very “poor” when moving to life as a single parent even on a high solo salary. I would highlight that the median annual salary in the uk is currently £39k and the op’s sister is earning well above most nhs workers and teachers.

True. I did used to have to provide for ds but he has been working fulltime for the past two years since 18. It is still tricky owing to the high cost of food. Luckily I gave up the car 2 years ago as I work from home but the COL is a challenge.

That amount would undoubtedly make a good salary but how much she is struggling will obviously depend on how good she is with managing finances in general and how significant her outgoings are. For example, if she lived in a big house which was jointly paid before she became a single mother, and now she is responsible for the house on her own, it can make a significant difference to her disposable income, especially if her mortgage has been affected by rising interest rates.

Does she have to buy treats? It would have been nice but, again, it's a pointless conversation if she is struggling financially for whatever reason or just isn't willing to spend any money on any treats.

It's easy to assume that those who earn more than us are comfortable financially but important to understand that their outgoings often exceed ours: e.g. bigger house = bigger utility bills, bigger car = more petrol required etc. Yes, if she is struggling, she could make adjustments to her lifestyle but God knows why she hasn't. Maybe she decided to save more for her daughter's future as she now worries more about it due to being a single mother? Who can tell her it's right or wrong? Not sure.

OP YABU. It’s YOU that is privileged. You don’t have the financial pressures of being a lone parent. You have absolutely no clue.

If she’s paying a mortgage alone, childcare alone then it probably feels very tight. You also don’t know her circumstance’s.
You have close to an extra grand on top of her between you both, which will make a lot of difference.

It really hugely depends on your circumstances.
And it isn't a massive amount.
And no, I'm not using a "stealth bragging", what my parents had to offer was to be born in a Communist country and work on myself.
I think your perception might be a bit skewed.

You sound jealous and bitter. I doubt being a single parent with £250 maintenance a month is a bed of roses

its the mumsnet income bias that makes people think someone on a salary of £69k needs to be frugal to that extent that they can't ever afford to contribute on a day out.