Not to cook for a guest at Christmas?

Yeah and now you are setting him up to be an awful husband. If he thinks this is how he should be treated.

Just tell him your plans he’s old enough to make up his own mind what he wants to do. And yes stick to your original plan with snacks

Yes tge terms ‘guest’ in this and ‘ one person’ all sounds a bit distant when they are talking about a son. Also, I don’t know why people can’t just communicate directly and not rely on mind reading. If you want a certain outcome then talk about it beforehand.

PICKY BITS! 😂😂

The Marks and Spencer Xmas dinner in a box was great.

When I read the title my brain skipped over ‘for’
and I was expecting something much more specialised.

This is so weird. Do you plan to talk to him before Christmas?! Tell him you hadn’t planned to cook a turkey dinner, is he planning to join? Maybe he’d offer to cook it? Could you bring yourself to enjoy it if he cooked? I can’t imagine feeling this exhausted by one ‘guest’ and one meal…

Keep one of these in the fridge and pop it in the oven if he's coming round?

www.google.com/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChsSEwjyrdXe0fCQAxX7kIMHHQWSLFQYACICCAEQEhoCZWY&ae=2&co=1&ase=2&gclid=CjwKCAiAoNbIBhB5EiwAZFbYGNXLzENah0oZemPaVfVSvoJkjI2OlmT7PHxyeAO4NEvJ81f_5g212xoCMLwQAvD_BwE&sph=&ei=xJkWafLaM9vrhbIP2pW5sQs&cce=2&category=acrcp_v1_71&sig=AOD64_0xvBTU8s3hhbRVHhmjT-WAfdC3dw&ctype=46&q=&sqi=2&ved=2ahUKEwjyzM_e0fCQAxXbdUEAHdpKLrYQzzkoAHoECAoQDQ&nis=7&ch=1&dct=1&suid=59021737632&ri=1&adurl=

Absoflippinglutely!

Well this year just think of any fiancée he might snare, and how she’ll be expected to cater to his wishes above all, just as you do. Stop!
At 25, he ought to be far more self sufficient (and considerate) and you should do your own thing and stop fretting!

On which note: I’d very strenuously resist any talk of him cooking a trad meal for himself while you and DH are attempting your Yuletide buffet relaxation, because by the sound of it he’d be begging you to get in the kitchen and take over for him, or sulking at his having to cook at all because he’ll not unbend and scoff a festive buffet.
Sounds like it'd be a pretty tense day, frankly. I think that unless he can be persuaded to spend the day with friends, you need to set out your stall asap. He's welcome of course, but it’s the fab buffet vibe or nowt, and there shall be no cooking of any roasts behind the scenes.
Don't leave it too long; just ring him and tell him what’s what. His reaction is his own responsibility, not yours.
You’d be on edge all day if he’s at all likely to try to prepare his own meal while you and DH inhale tasty bits and pieces like pickled onions and game pie, and the whole idea is to relieve you of the usual stress. Nip it in the bud!
(I hope you are well though, maybe get this tiredness checked out?)

If it was a normal day, then by all means everyone do their own thing, but you've a particular vision in mind for a special, easeful Christmas, and you've every right and reason to insist that it be respected. Harrumph!

What's unhealthy about a buffet?

No-one other than a spoilt brat 'expects' a Christmas Dinner at the last moment.

There you go, OP. Sorted.

He's a hungry 25yo. In my experience they will eat anything going. 😊

I'd make sure you have plenty of ham, pickles and oven chips in stock. Then, if he (or anyone else) turns up, they can do their own cold meat and chips.

Plus some mince pies and cream. Sorted

Yep, this. Otherwise it looks like you're trying to get him there by trickery.

Why have you raised such a rude entitled son?

This is one of the most confusing and weirdly chilling Christmas threads I’ve ever seen!

I wonder what OP is thinking of doing, given she seems to have ruled out the possibility of having a conversation with her DS about this in advance, and she is certain he would reject her unhealthy buffet snacks.

As far as I can see, her options are:

• Making a full Christmas dinner just in case, to avoid any purely hypothetical disappointment her son might potentially feel if he happens to rock up on the day, and seething with silent resentment throughout the Yuletide season, whether or not he turns up for Xmas as he can’t win whatever he does.

• Not answering the phone when DS rings on Christmas morning, and hiding in the back room with the lights off if he knocks at the door, nibbling as quietly as possible on M&S canapés

I think your plan sounds nice. A big Christmas dinner is not for everyone.
You could have some healthy foods in that make a simple tray bake for him if he does call on the day.
I love a simple healthy tray bake style dinner.
Some meat and vegetables with baby potatoes. Bit of stock/sauce depending on personal preference and all in one tray in the oven for a hour ish .

Your son is rude, and doesn't have the manners he was born with if this is what he does. Appalling!

You are beating around the bush instead of categorically making it clear that you aren't doing Christmas lunch. And no thank you, you don't want any attempts at a Christmas lunch made in your house. You are not interested. You'd love your son's company over Christmas, but understand if he wants to get a roast elsewhere and see you in the evening/Boxing Day.

So your plan is to not mention it in the hope he comes on Christmas day, and then find out there is no dinner. You can't do that.

Already cooked!

This 👆

We know if he does decide to turn up it will be unannounced and he will expect a full Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.

Pffft

Yes they do, and I was going to suggest it.

I blame the parents.