To have told NDN that dh won’t be helping her anymore?

does she not have friends or family?its odd behaviour from her to only be asking your husband for help.

if youre in UK she doesnt need a car seat for taxi, and maybe just leave pram downstairs...or wear sling.

the fact shes complained about you to ur husband is questionable behaviour

Definitely do this if anything it might even put you at ease if there’s nothing to it.

I still think your DH has offered to help her any time otherwise he wouldn’t have proffered both your numbers. He must be encouraging & normalising excessive & unreasonable demands. She is still a CF either way. If your DH wasn’t as gallant & generous when your own DC were young, it would mightily pee me off even more. The sulking & making you the bad guy just shows how much of this is coming from him & how embarrassed he’s feeling at the prospect of having to rein it in to her - when he’s obviously wholeheartedly encouraged it. So going from the hero rescuer to pussy whipped (middle aged (
?) man. (I’m not saying him not helping her is him being pussy whipped btw! He should be reigning his attentions in). Men are so pathetic when it comes to their egos & being so flattered by a younger woman’s attention. I mean she’s only using him to make her life easier & I doubt she even thinks about him in that light if am honest. But boundaries can easily get very blurred & him being this perfect protector figure to her is equally dangerous. I’d hate if I’m honest OP & there’s no escape from it b’cos it literally is on your doorstep. Deleted msgs? Red flag. Is this an insight into your DH & how he is toward other women in general?? Or true to form & what he’s like in general but now ramped up??

That’s damningly suspicious.

This is looking off OP! Why is he deleting innocuous messages?

Yes, he is hiding plenty and shutting you out, @Babycarrierdilemma. Things have been simmering between them for quite a while, and he now has a covert agenda to block transparency so he can continue his cake eating. They will absolutely be messaging, and he’ll be seeing her and doing for her while you’re out.

He is trying to dupe you. Changing shifts is a good idea. I would also look through his phone without him knowing to try to retrieve their messages and to read any future chat that he forgets to delete.

I would tell him that he needs to recover the messages, with you sat next to him, so you can read them for yourself. His reaction should tell you everything you need to know. A completely innocent man will prove you wrong and then claim the moral high ground. A guilty man will get angry and defensive ... I sincerely hope he's not the latter OP. Good luck. 🤗

This. If it’s all innocent the messages will be harmless

Do it otherwise you will be at work wondering.

Red flag.

This is more than you getting upset. He had no reason to delete the messages. Coupled with his attitude, he is hiding something.

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to read this OP. If the messages were totally benign, why would he need to delete them? Surely he would want to be able to show them to you to prove there's nothing out of order? And surely the obvious response to him not being able to help her anymore would be to delete her as a contact - I mean, why keep her details on his phone if he's never going to have any contact with her in the future?
You don't say if he has an iPhone or an Android, but WA messages and texts can be recovered from both types of device, particularly if it's within 30 days (WA messages via WA backup and texts via the recycle bin, iCloud or Google One Backup) - there's lots of "how to" help online.
I would tell him that he needs to recover the messages, with you sat next to him, so you can read them for yourself. His reaction should tell you everything you need to know. A completely innocent man will prove you wrong and then claim the moral high ground. A guilty man will get angry and defensive ... I sincerely hope he's not the latter OP. Good luck. 🤗

Try and get hold of his phone and block her number and on WhatsApp also

That ring doorbell needs to be up and running OP.

Why has he deleted messages? Very suspicious:

Honestly? He deleted them? Guilty as hell, they have something going on already.

Absolutely do this. Sorry Op, but deleting messages isn’t good at all - I’d be trying to retrieve those messages to see exactly what is going on.

It's ridiculous that you have to do this but I honestly think that is a very sensible thing for you to do.
I feel quite angry on your behalf that your H and this woman have put you in this position.

I'd be doing that but rather than staying at home I'd leave as normal to try and observe what happens at her appointment time. Is this possible? I wouldn't trust your dh now, him deleting the messages is suspicious.

Oh if he's deleting messages then he 100% has something to hide.

I would do that. It's highly suspicious that he's deleted the messages!

That's really suspicious!!! 😡

Can deleted messages be retrieved on a phone? Depends on the model I suppose...

Well now he's well and truly crossing boundaries. He needs to figure out how to restore those messages and show you. Because he's covering his tracks and that is going to destroy your marriage.

How’s the atmosphere been today?

Every update you give paints a more and more worrying picture of the situation OP.
Honestly why delete messages if there is nothing in them for you to worry about?