To have told NDN that dh won’t be helping her anymore?

I would ask DH if he would still be helping her if she was unattractive.. I'm going to assume from him enjoying helping and not being happy with you putting a stop to it that she is attractive..

Yeah isnt it funny how The White Knight is happy to help the damsel in distress but not his own wife when she was in exactly the same situation.

You need to watch this VERY carefully

Reminds me of a previous neighbour (a couple), husband supposedly going out to work each morning (suited with a briefcase )was actually 2 streets away bringing up twins and living off a lottery win he told no one about.

Sounds like they both need reminding that he is your husband, not hers.

And I would keep a very close eye on this going forward.

You have a loving devoted father to your children, she doesnt.........doesnt take much working out does it?

Poor kid, hardly a great start in life...I'd be asking all sorts of awkward questions about where the dad is in all this...

Maybe point out to him that it's very interesting all the help he's happy to give her when you were expected to lug a baby up and down the very same stairs. He had no issues expecting you to do it unassisted, what's changed? The steps haven't got any more rickety.

Add to that her blatant manipulation and "crying all afternoon".

He's not her husband. There's being neighbourly and there's taking the piss. She's doing the second.

Maybe start getting your groceries delivered and text him to collect them from downstairs. Start asking him for help with everything and if he kicks off, rustle up some crocodile tears and sob you can't beieve he is so unkind to you.

She sounds really manipulative.

OMG - have you reminded the knob of this????

I lived on the fourth floor with a newborn and toddler. Single parent. I wouldn't have dreamed of taking the piss like this. Going out/coming home took multiple trips up and down the stairs.
You just do what needs doing. I can't abide helpless women, though agree with PP, your problem lies with your DH.

I think it's about setting boundaries. Your detailed explanation showed what she is asking is absurd.

A baby isn't going to come to harm in 5 minutes, locked in a house, while she nips downstairs to get the shopping. Or she needs to make a note on her shopping account ensuring that they do bring it up the stairs! And if she wants to text DH that's fine but she needs to just wait til he replies, not then text you too! Because if it's inconvenient for her she'll find an alternative way of managing.

What's wrong with putting the baby in the cot, taking the pushchair downstairs and then coming back for the baby. And then the opposite when you come home. Same when the shopping arrives. Put the baby in the cot, come down and get the shopping. Hardly rocket science?
I mean, I'd give my ndn a hand once in a while but not multiple times a day.
She is massively taking advantage of your DH and sending him texts complaining about you is terrible! I can' believe your DH can't see that tbh. She needs to find a ground floor flat if living with stairs is something she can't cope with.

Her behaviour is crossing boundaries and your DH is enabling it. She’s an issue but he’s the biggest issue.

Exactly. She’s in full on divide and conquer mode. You need to watch your back OP as your DH seems to be blinded by the damsel in distress.

This just isn’t sustainable!

I don’t think the problem here is that your DH is being a “doormat” at all. What would worry me is that he’s putting himself in a really precarious position with a young woman who is clearly leaning on him in a way that goes far beyond neighbourly help.

Daily requests, lifts, emotional upset when he can’t do something, messaging him directly rather than dealing with you - she’s positioning him as the only man she can rely on and while he might enjoy being her white knight, it’s not fair on you or your relationship.

My response to the accusation that you’re being uncaring would be “I can’t believe I’m with someone who can’t see a walking red flag”.

She needs proper support in place, not a married neighbour becoming her default rescuer, no matter how much your DH might like it!

Did your DH respond to her message?

Absolutely. For me, helping up the stairs is no big deal but that's also not the point. I would say she doesn't know her place, but it seems she actually does since your DH has allowed her to come between you.

She has already caused conflict between you and your dh, so it is an issue.

if you are being treated unfavourably by your dh due to her demands, requests and emotional blackmail texts then this situation will only get worse if he continues to be available.

I think we are all thinking this. And her DH loves the attention from a ‘pretty young helpless’ lady.

hes sulking? Okay, yeah something weird is going on. I would tell her to text you & not your husband from now on.

Totally agree with this, context is everything. I’m angry on your behalf@Babycarrierdilemma !

What a nightmare neighbour. How did you get talking to her in the first place?

I don't talk to any of my neighbiurs

Yeah she either realised she's onto a good thing with your dh and eventually she will make a move on him

I wouldn't be happy about her going to DH behind my back, and I'd be bloody furious about him taking her side. He needs to have a bloody good think about where his loyalties lie.