To have told NDN that dh won’t be helping her anymore?

Ps. I also think there is a big risk that something is already developing between them, otherwise she wouldn’t feel so entitled to the help and your husband wouldn’t have punish you by giving you the silent treatment for trying to put a stop to it.

Complaining to a man about his wife… I would fall on her as a ton of bricks and read the riot act to the husband. If she cannot see you as a unit you both need to put her back in her place.

Your husband is not her husband, she cannot be bothering another family all the time for things she herself has to find a way around. Is she going to be knocking at your door every day for 2-3 years until the pram is redundant? Fuck that for a game of soldiers (and I’m saying that as a single mother)

OP, I would also be wary of how your DH has rolled over so easily and agreed to stop helping. I seriously think you’re in dangerous territory here with him WFH.

I agree with this.

Given the woman's persistence so far and his willingness to help her, and his sulking when you tried to put a stop to her entitled behaviour, I don't think this is the end of the problem by any means.

She will continue to ask him for favours and continue to try and manipulate him Your H supposedly " seeing your point of view" is totally different from him actually putting into practice not being at her beck and call.

That he is working from home and you being out at work gives them lots of opportunity to continue their friendship and interaction.

Exactly this ⬆️

I agree with this.

Right up until then it could be considered that she is clueless and perhaps doesnt realise that she is asking an awful lot, too much in fact.

But the text to the husband about how horrible the OP is and how it made her cry....thats where she crossed the line. By doing that she is clearly trying to create a divide between husband and wife and insert herself into it.

Given that she is so reticent about her former relationship I cant help wondering if this is her first rodeo......

The concept of “guarding” throughout this thread is so bizarre. The OPs husband clearly thinks she is being uncharitable to a member of their community who is struggling and that doesn’t look great on her in his eyes u seek you communicate properly on it. Banning him is not going to end well

You could argue the toss on this one for either side UNTIL the NDN text the husband to slag off OP. Thats a step too far 🚩

Hell no. Guard your marriage fiercely against that nonsense.

Yes, but we're not talking about helping someone with a pram down the stairs now and then. We're talking about giving her lifts in his car, helping her in with her shopping and all sorts of other things on a daily basis. To be fair there's helping a neighbour out (which very few of us would mind doing) and then there's almost accepting responsibility for them. Are you sure your DH would be happy with such a full-on situation? Honestly, not many people would like it.

No good deed goes unpunished.

The older i get, the more I realise how true it is.

Maybe your DH could help her source a more suitable buggy that she can carry herself?

WTF?? OP, quite rightly, doesn't want her husband spending more!! time with her. She sounds manipulative OP.

Lots of us solo parents have had to navigate these things by themselves.

And as you found all this such a struggle, did you also knock on your neighbour's door multiple times per day, expecting them to carry your pram and shopping and ferry you around? Or you managed?

I don't think OP mentioned anything about the woman's finances? I think it's a bit of a stretch to assume she must be on breadline, especially as she did not say she can't afford a taxi, she said she can't manage the car seat.

Op i knew someone like this. Although i found her slightly annoying i also tried to be supportive because i felt sorry for her. She ran off with my DH!

Ummm, you do understand that very, very many people do not get a choice of where to live? It's very difficult indeed to find a place to rent if you're an unemployed new single mother.

Yes I think the fact she’s coming between you both is a big red flag, she’s being manipulative

I was thinking yabu until i read that she texted your hubby about it! Cheeky! Nip it in the bud asap or she’ll be a thorn in your side/marriage permanently

And where is anything in the OP to suggest that she would "undoubtedly" contact SS?

Our NDN is a single mum and has asked us for help a couple of times. Once she needed help with her car and since I’ve only ever driven electric cars, I had no idea so DH went to help. Difference is, this was a random one off. We’d happily take parcels in for one another, offer use of something if needed I.e hedge trimmer. Whatever.

This woman is taking the royal piss expecting help daily. How anyone doesn’t see why this would feel intrusive is crazy. Imagine trying to relax in the evening and having the neighbour knock to ask you to help take her food shop upstairs! As I say, were this an elderly neighbour or one with mobility issues then whatever. Also if it was a one off then sure. She asks constantly.

OP, I would also be wary of how your DH has rolled over so easily and agreed to stop helping. I seriously think you’re in dangerous territory here with him WFH. You need the doorbell for peace of mind. I have a feeling he’s said that to appease you but will still continue to help when you’re not around.

And?

Yes. He was—although “multiple” is doing a LOT of heavy lifting!

But if you know you are going to struggle then you find work arounds, just as the OP did. Baby slings for example. Or living in a ground floor flat.

Expecting the rest of the world to jump to because you chose to live somewhere that you would struggle with is not reasonable at all!

This is very unfair to women who don't find it possible to carry a baby and a pushchair up 3 flights of stairs. Not everyone is equally strong, or physically able, or has enough sleep and energy. I certainly found it debilitating and frightening, as I could have dropped my baby.

I didn't find trains so difficult except when there were huge gaps between the platform and the train (once my toddler fell down the gap when people on the train stepped backwards as we were getting on, pushing him off). Buses were extremely nerve-wracking because the drivers sometimes closed the doors and drove off while I was still getting the pushchair or shopping on or off.

Pretending things that are actually very difficult indeed are easy because you happened to have more physical strength, sleep, or other resources (what single parent with a small baby has enough money for a taxi, by the way?!) is just calculated to push struggling mothers further into isolation and depression.

Nope. 5 minutes. Actually 10, because she will have to make more than one trip.

Most days? thats a bit selfish isnt it? OP's husband was helping multiple times a day so clearly much more kind and caring than you

For 1 minute?