To have told NDN that dh won’t be helping her anymore?

Is she attractive and younger than you?
I hope you can trust your husband, especially if she's manipulative.

Sorry, but no. As a single mother you don’t go and ask constant favours from the married guy next door, it is simply not correct, polite or wise. It is actually quite rude and disrespectful to the wife and yes… I raised my child on my own and had PND. You don’t get in between a married couple to sort something as simple as dealing with a pram particularly if the wife has already given you the means to get baby and pram up as she herself did while her husband was at work.

Why don't you help instead? That might get her to stop if she only ever gets you

It's very kind of you (or him!) to have helped as much as he has so far, but really she needs to learn how to do these things herself now - like everyone else does. The occasional request is fine, but multiple times a week! I think anyone would get irritated. The baby is 16 weeks now so can be left safely somewhere in the flat while she gets the shopping in or drops the pushchair down.
Your DH needs to start stepping back as he's not helping her get to grips with being a single mum (or even a mum).

She is after her husband and the OP, husband seems to be loving it.

I bet they meet up when OP is at work, as he WFH.

I used to live alone in a second floor flat and you have to plan in advance and adapt to the situation with a baby as a single parent . I used to leave my pram in a store cupboard on the ground floor but I also used to put my son in the pram car seat attachment and carry him up the stairs. I could safely leave him strapped into the seat attachment instead the flat or by the door when I could run down the stairs and fold the pram to carry it or collect shopping. I ended up with 3 different second hand prams, I had an icandy, to start and progressed to a fold up baby jogger and a light McLaren stroller. I never bothered my neighbours who were rarely home. Your neighbour needs to invest in a more suitable, lighter pram asap. She is taking the mick expecting you to collect her shopping from the ground floor, she could easy put baby in the cot with the front door left open to hear the child and get it herself or use a baby sling.

I think my husband would be equally kind in a similar situation and I would support it, knowing how difficult I found things after a caesarean, even with a lot of help. I think she did cross a line and that would irritate me too, but it’s possibly from a place of desperation, tiredness or just lacking a sense of what’s right and wrong in what might be the most extreme circumstances she’s ever faced. I’m not the boss of my husband and if he wanted to carry on doing it then that’s fine - I can’t imagine it’s more than 10 minutes a day ?

NDN = Next Door Neighbour

agree! this woman comes across very manipulative and quite unhinged with 'crying all afternoon' antics. Your dh would be an idiot to carry on indulging her.

A man who enjoys being needed, a woman who is asking for help, an OP who despises needing help. One of these does not fit, whilst the other two complement each other perfectly.

It's annoying when you competently found ways round the same issues she is facing and had little help from partner, and then he rushes to help her with those same issues. She is a piece of work to go crying to him - completely inappropriate and totally out of order. And he is on thin ice for letting his vanity be so easily used against him.

Sounds like you are in an apartment block. Do you own your apartment or through shared ownership. If you own, then you need to contact the Managing Agents, if through shared ownership you need to contact the Council and report your concerns as she may well have mental health issues and the child needs to be looked after. If, she has a fixation on your husband and, your are sure there hasn't been any affair leading to this child, then you need to act sooner rather than later and he needs to step up to protect his own family. This could be a very volatile situation if not dealt with.

I felt a bit sorry for her until I read she had messaged your husband saying you were unkind. That really was bad. She should have taken it on the chin.

As a previous poster suggested, can she not leave the pram downstairs and just carry her baby up and down? That's what others do but it depends on how much room there is at the entrance.

As for asking for lifts, that is a bit much. I am presuming she is a single parent and probably can't afford a taxi.

I can't get over the woman messaging your husband. Where is her pride?

I honestly don't know what to think and have no suggestions. I will say I don't suppose it took your husband more than a few minutes to carry the pram up and down, I think I'd have let that one go.

I understood DN as "niece",. Is she related to you?

This deserves to be repeated. I was on the side of “how lovely of your husband to be helpful, maybe OP is a bit paranoid” but the constant requests, the manipulative messages, the texting where she complains about OP? No, that’s a bit too far. New mum needs to start figuring out how to do things on her own and she certainly should be capable of carrying her own groceries upstairs.

she didn’t know how to say, didn’t want to say, but she’s been crying all afternoon because she’s stressed after the conversation (in which she was told that a person she only met 11 weeks ago cannot be her errand boy) and OP was “unkind”???? Absolutely not. I understand she has hormones rampaging through her, but she is the only one responsible for her own emotions. The only reason to share that with OP (who is a virtual stranger) is to be manipulative. I understand helping a neighbor, but this has gone well beyond that.

🙄

She shouldn’t have texted your dh but I do feel for her. She is a single mum and is clearly
struggling. I was very scared of doing anything with my newborn alone when she arrived - I didn’t go
into certain coffee shops because they had steps up to them and I didn’t know how to it with a pram. I also didn’t go on a train until
baby was about six months as I was just so anxious and lacking confidence. Had I been a single mum I would have probably taken even longer to leave the house!

yes she shouldn’t text dh but I do think this woman might be showing early
signs of pnd or at the very least is having a very difficult time. She needs help and I think you and dh should both do so when you can.

Bit mad she moved into a property that would be difficult with a baby. Definitely keep an eye on her and her intentions. I get your dh might like to be the hero in her life but it is out of order her complaining directly to him about you. Beware.

She can’t even bring her own groceries in?? Omg I should have realised I could have asked my neighbours to take my groceries in when I was on maternity leave!

It is tough…
she has to learn and yes, when you are alone, you need still to be able.

Not unkind. Wise.

It depends on what you call "managed." It was horrific, we're lucky to have survived, but we did.

Obviously, she could be a well-off woman on maternity leave who could afford to move home and afford taxis (in which case she could probably afford to pay for some domestic help and have no need to keep asking OP's DH), but it's unusual to be in that situation and more likely, as she's clearly desperate and emotional, that she's genuinely struggling with few resources.

This has probably been said by now but you aren’t generally allowed to leave things in communal areas due to fire risks.

When I lived in a flat the management company would come weekly and remove such items. These were privately owned flats if that makes a difference.

The NDN will be shagging the DH long before then.

This. I would be wanting to see the text responses.

I’d be interested to hear what your husband said to her in response to her text message slagging you off OP?