To have told NDN that dh won’t be helping her anymore?

I think helping because you happen to be on the stairs at the same time is fine, I think reaching out for assistance on rare occasions is fine but when it strays into asking for lifts or daily help it’s over stepping.
It’s gone beyond helping with the pram, the Op’s husband is now driving this person around, she feels it’s acceptable to text him to criticise his wife. It’s time to draw a very firm line.

Wtaf?! It’s impacting the OP and that’s enough for her DH to stand by her. The NDN is being needy and manipulative and is so obviously after her DH. Huge red flags.

This ^

It's not the request that's now the issue, it's that she felt comfortable complaining to OPs husband about OPs cease and desist request

Now we're really veering into unhelpful territory

I don’t think a daily request to help get a pram out of the building is a big deal?! Am I crazy? My husband would gladly do this (assuming he was at home when it was needed).

Are people really so sick and miserable they can’t face helping a neighbour for a few minutes a day? Urgh.

But why is your helplessness someone elses problem? As a single parent, your job is to learn, and learn fast, how to manage things like this yourself. Yes I have done it, and am currently doing it. Which is why I know how to plumb in dishwashers and washing machines, change knackered taps on sinks and replaster walls. Because I had to learn as I had no money to pay someone else to do it!

You couldnt manage bags and baby and pram? So prioritise. Baby upstairs, in cot, safe. Then shopping, in kitchen safe. Then pram.

Next trip, baby carrier on front, rucksack on back, buy less and shop more often, sell pram.

You learn.

I have 3 children. Ages 8,2,1
I live on the first floor, 2 flights of stairs to get up and down- no lift. I have to carry my 2 year old and my 1 year old in the doona since I was 10 days post partum - after a c section. I’ve done it all alone, school runs, nursery runs. I’m up and down 6 times daily. My neighbours often ask me if I need help, I have been called super woman/mom many times, I have always declined the help as it is my responsibility. Your neighbour is taking the piss and needs to figure it out herself. You’ve been more than reasonable. Sometimes when you help some people they just take the mick even more. It’s completely do-able solo. Also I carry shopping bags up alongside the two children, I’m often sweating when I get to the top but I do it successfully.

Blimey, that's drawing a long bow, even for paranoid Mumsnetters

Did you miss the bit where op said she only moved in 11 weeks ago, and there’s been daily requests?

It’s not really a “no” situation! I’m just speaking from my own pp situation where I couldn’t do much on my own. That’s my experience and not something you say “no”
to as it happened?! 😂

And yep, I was also a single mum too after we split up.

Anyway, none of that actually matters. She's just not your problem. At all. But your husband is.

It is very much worth it. The reality is he is enjoying attention from a younger, prettier woman who is stoking his ego by pretending she is Penelope Pitstop being rescued by the handsome hero. It's utterly pathetic - and so is your husband.

He may not go any further than he already has, but what he has already done is be disloyal to you and enjoy the (almost certainly flirtatious) attentions of a younger woman. If he disagreed with your decision to tell her to sling her hook (which was exactly the right decision) he certainly had no right to let her whinge at him about it. What a sly little cow.

You are the inner circle, just you and him. All arguments stay within that circle. She tried to break into the circle and you sent her packing. If he doesn't like that, it stays entirely between you two.

I can't stand women who act as thought the world has fallen in because life gets harder after a kid. I trekked across three continents with two kids and my (now ex) husband - who worked all day 6 days a week, 7am to 6pm, no family, no helpful neighbours, I just fucking got on with it like a normal person. I do not say that is ideal but it is perfectly achievable provided nobody is experiencing disabilities or very unwell. She is neither, and her mental health is nothing to do with you or your husband.

Time for her to look into finding accommodation she can manage since she cannot have a sherpa slave do her bidding every day. She is not your problem in any way, manner shape or form - and yes you do have a husband problem.

They’re always really cheap Black Friday week. This all seems very OTT and the fact people aren’t focusing on the fact she went whinging to YOUR man about you is massively over stepping!! Crying all evening? Shes either lying and emotionally manipulating him or she’s possibly got PND. She needs to get a lightweight buggy instead and use the baby carrier. A second hand Doona would be ideal actually as it’s the car seat on wheels so handy for taxis. L be

I voted YABU only because this is something that should have been discussed with your husband rather than speaking on his behalf. It comes across as controlling.

I completely agree with you that she is definitely asking too much. I just think it should have been handled differently.

Am I missing something? She’s just asking for her getting her pram up and down the stairs… and asked twice for a lift, which she didn’t get.

You seriously have a major issue with your husband carrying a pram up and down stairs to help out a single mother?

I feel heart sorry for her. On her own with such a young baby isn't easy. He's probably the only conversation or adult interaction she has in a day. What a lonely and scary life she must have.

Instead of marking your territory, help her out too. You're being incredibly selfish and thoughtless.

This thread. Love to be a fly on the wall for the dystopian future where you'll all have to rely for survival on the same people you've been treating like dogshite to be scraped off your shoes.

He loves helping a stranger every day with carrying a pram and lifts? Sorry but no man loves helping with domestic chores unless they fancy the woman.

My husband is a real people pleaser but even he would complain about doing things so often.

Hells bells.!!
Are you her personal aides then ?
Texting you to bring her shopping up. ? Can't she manage it herself.?

NDN is totally taking the piss expecting anyone to carry her pram up and down every single day. Then expecting you two to get her shopping in. Does she think that you’re hired staff?
She needs to learn to stand on her own two feet.

You have left out quite a bit to this story. Where’s this girls mother? Sister? Boyfriend? Husband?
why is this girl relying so heavily on her neighbours? Absolutely madness! I say hello to my neighbours and that’s about it!
why is this girl living in a flat if she can’t manage the pram up and down the stairs? Why didn’t she move when she was pregnant? (I know she may not have the means to!) but it’s hugely unrealistic to rely on you and your husband. You are not unreasonable at all. I wouldn’t have given her my slings, I would have maybe told her where she can buy slings for the baby! Madness.

OP, I would also be wary of how your DH has rolled over so easily and agreed to stop helping. I seriously think you’re in dangerous territory here with him WFH

Couldn't agree more. What’s to stop him just sneaking round and not mentioning it given OP is at work, he’s WFH?

If the neighbour has pnd, this is not the OP’s problem. It’s sad that she’s not had visitors since moving in, but emergencies aside, I think her behaviour has been unfortunate. Texting the OP’s husband to complain about her is either extremely daring (go on, male neighbour, stick up for me) or very stupid, either way, guaranteed to upset the OP.

If she looked liked the backend of a bus, wonder if he would be so concerned about her?

The going over your head as though your opinion is irrelevant is a red flag.

Also, how he is fighting her corner. Flag.

@Doone22 ,because OP is at work, and doesn't drive.