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AIBU?

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Original poster

To pay (or not?) for a city break offered to you last minute?

64 replies

Ilikeyoursleeves · 13/11/2025 20:20

A friend had booked a city break to Amsterdam with her friends this weekend, Saturday to Monday. I don’t know the friend group (4 of them were going) as it’s a different friend circle but she’s just told me one of the friends suddenly can’t go for medical reasons.

If you were asked if you wanted to go in the friends place would you think you would be expected to pay for it in full / partially / not at all? For the hotel and flight that is.

OP posts:
Catlover77 · 13/11/2025 21:13

I would not expect to pay in full. I would expect to pay 50%, then the person who is unwell is not fully out of pocket.

after all, you wouldn’t automatically choose to go away with this group.

Misanthropologie · 13/11/2025 21:06

Amsterdam is not at its best in November.

Pippir · 13/11/2025 21:05

Obviously you’re expected to pay OP, they’re not asking you just for the pleasure of your company!

Rickrolypoly · 13/11/2025 20:44

I don't understand how people get themselves into these scenarios.
Hey Jane, Susan has dropped out of the Amsterdam trip, would you like to go in her place?
Oh yeah maybe, how much does it cost?

It's not hard!!

Bournetilly · 13/11/2025 20:43

I’d expect to pay in full unless they have said otherwise. I doubt I’d go in this situation though if I had to pay in full. If they can’t claim it back on travel insurance it would be nice for them to offer it at partial cost.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 13/11/2025 20:40

I’d expect to pay absolutely. If you can’t afford the whole thing just say you’d love to go but are on a bit of a budget and ask how much they want for the tickets

Freshstartyear25 · 13/11/2025 20:38

I would expect the main reason why you’re invited in the first place is so you can pay in full. Your payment will help cover what the person who dropped out has lost.
I won’t be going anyway because it’s not my friendship circle. Even if it was something I would love, I will hate to have to feel like I’m an afterthought

ZestForRest · 13/11/2025 20:38

I'd 100% expect to pay.

SoSoLong · 13/11/2025 20:37

Just ask how much it is. For all you know, the hotel room might be refundable, so there's no reason for you to get it free, or the friend might have insurance. By default, I'd assume I'm paying.

pinkdelight · 13/11/2025 20:36

I'd expect to pay but I wouldn't go. If it was offered free then maybe I'd consider it, but I wouldn't pay for a holiday I hadn't chosen with a group I didn't know that well out of the blue last minute. One would have to pretty flush and impulsive to do so.

BellaTrixLeStrange1 · 13/11/2025 20:36

I this situation I would expect to pay the full cost

MrsPositivity1 · 13/11/2025 20:35

Pay in full

Glitchymn1 · 13/11/2025 20:34

I would expect to be told how much to pay. I dropped out of a trip once and didn’t expect or want to be reimbursed.

ZenNudist · 13/11/2025 20:34

Pay in full.

funtimetoni · 13/11/2025 20:31

I quite often get invited to events by a particular friend if someone drops out. I’m not included initially as they’re friends through their now adult children going to the same schools years ago and not local to me. I just go with whether it’s something I want to do and if I’m free and then pay in full. So are you free Saturday to Monday to and is a weekend in Amsterdam something you want to do?

lizzyBennet08 · 13/11/2025 20:31

Yes I'd expect to pay in those circumstances.

Suednymph · 13/11/2025 20:31

Through experience when hotels and flights had been prebooked on stuff like this and someone has to cancel they lose their money and the person taking over the slot pays for the name change on the flight ticket and the balance if any of the hotel.

WellyBellyBoo · 13/11/2025 20:31

Pay in full, unless they offer it for less. There will probably be fees to change the flight too.

BillieWiper · 13/11/2025 20:31

I certainly wouldn't think it was free. I'd ask up front how much is it.

Zempy · 13/11/2025 20:30

Yes!!

ResusciAnnie · 13/11/2025 20:30

Surely the reason they’re looking for a replacement is to replace any money lost. So yes I’d expect to pay in full.

(Also I definitely wouldn’t be going 😄)

Trumpisacunt · 13/11/2025 20:29

Hard one ...if the original person had insurance then id expect to pay as it would mean she couldn't claim...if there was no insurance and its too late for a refund then the holiday would go to waste anyway and would expect to pay a token amount as a gesture .

Dozer · 13/11/2025 20:29

Eg the admin fees and around 50%

Dozer · 13/11/2025 20:28

The one who dropped out probably won’t get any of her money back if no one else goes. She can’t sell the place to a stranger. The group probably don’t want to chip in to cover her costs. It’d be economical for her and the group on her behalf to offer a lower cost trip to someone they know.

canklesmctacotits · 13/11/2025 20:28

A. I wouldn't go
B. If I desperately wanted to, I'd pay my way, ie in full