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Original poster

To ask how you find a fully remote job? Commute is killing me

84 replies

CharlieJaneJay · 13/11/2025 18:58

I have 14 month old little girl and went back to work full-time when she was 9 months due to finances. We could’ve technically afford for me to drop to 4 days a week but it would’ve meant giving up investing money for her, and missing out of family days out etc and living off beans and toast so we decided I would go back full-time.

my job is okay, an entry-level customer service role. Most people’s idea of hell but I find the work okay. It is the commute that kills me. Our nursery is only a 2 minute walk from our house (literally) but then it’s a further 40 mins to get to work. I’m hybrid with 3 days in office 2 days at home. The home days are so lovely - wake up 7am, play and cuddle with DD, take our time with breakfast, get her to nursery at 8:45am and home and logged in 9am. Breaks and lunch I’ll clean, do the dishes, pick up toys etc. Log out at 5:30pm and by 6pm we’re all cosy at home and DD is eating her dinner.

Office days on the other hand I wake up 6am. Mad dash to have breakfast, get DD ready and at the nursery for 8am on the dot, then run carrying a massive backpack with a laptop in to get to the train which is 9/10 times late but getting an earlier one would mean having to drop DD off before the nursery even opens which is obviously impossible. If train doesn’t turn up then I get the bus which consistently leaves me 10 minutes late - today the bus stopped for 15 minutes because someone literally shat on the seat and the driver didn’t know what to do.

I leave work 17:30 pm and mostly don’t get home until 6:30 PM due to train/bus delays. Train was cancelled this evening, bus showed up but they had only a single decker which was full of people and I physically couldn’t fit on the bus. I got dirty looks from nursery staff when picking up DD late (I don’t blame them) and hit with late fees. To avoid late pick ups I’ve been paying for Ubers but no Uber driver picked up my request tonight.

My commute is destroying me, my Apple Watch actually sends me High Heart rate warnings on commute days (yes I have had it checked by a doctor and I’m healthy but the stress of the commute triggers high heart rate).

I know there’s plenty of other in-person jobs that may be a bit closer and accommodate nursery times better, but I love remote work so much. It broke my heart to go back full-time after maternity leave, but I feel with a fullyremote job I’d still get to enjoy mornings and evenings with DD which would soften the blow.

Could anyone with a fully remote job please advise what sector please? I don’t have a degree so it would need to be something realistic

OP posts:
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Praying4Peace · 17/11/2025 22:04

CharlieJaneJay · 13/11/2025 19:15

I can’t think of any valid reason they would have to reject a fully WFH request other than the classic “If we offer it to you others will want it.” We are hybrid so we know that job can be done from home however the contract states minimum 3 days in office. The alternative to offering me fully WFH would be for me to quit and I’m the best agent on my team so it would be a shame for them surely?

i have just checked my emails from when I first got the job and on the job offer email it does have a paragraph stating “We're committed to creating an inclusive, supportive workplace where everyone can flourish. If you need any adjustments during the recruitment process-or once you're part of the team-just let us know. Whether it's flexible hours, adapted equipment, or a bit of extra support, we'll work with you to make sure you can do your best work.”. Do you think that makes it fair enough for me to ask for fully WFH?

I don’t know. I genuinely enjoy the job and I am doing very well there, I’m constantly putting our team ahead of other teams in terms of stats and productivity.

fully WFH is the dream but I could probably accept 1 or 2 office days a week and just fork out for the Ubers for nursery pick ups - I think ideally I’d just need to be at home more than the office. The 3 days office and 2 days at home isn’t working

Edited

You are fortunate that you have the commute 3 days pw only and 2 days wfh.
WFH simply isn't an option for some and I fully appreciate the full on rushing around with getting kids up and out.
You may have to reframe your thoughts OP.
Please don't think that I am being insensitive but the situation could be much worse

SRowan1 · 17/11/2025 13:46

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LostMySocks · 17/11/2025 13:17

CharlieJaneJay · 13/11/2025 19:03

DP works 12 hour shifts 7am-7pm 4 days a week unfortunately

Show quote history

Can you move one of your office days to his day off? That way you have one day less to stress about

Diddlyumptious · 17/11/2025 13:15

Apply for WFH permanently and once decision made you take stock and decide on next steps. Good luck

lizzyBennet08 · 15/11/2025 20:08

Fully remote seems to be getting rarer and rarer as employers are pushing back against it. Those roles are definitely not as plentiful as they were. I'd ask for 4 days at home. So what if they find it cheeky, all they can say is no.

pkt3chgirl · 15/11/2025 19:46

I had this with my last role - 4-5 days in and it was always a mad rush in the mornings for nursery. Then Covid meant the kids spent most of the time on my knees or garden.

Post Covid I changed to a role that was one day in the office because although mornings are a different kind of chaos now heading to school I am able to spend time watching them grow as opposed dealing with the mad commute and then needed a little decompression time before mum mode kicks in.

AlexiaH · 15/11/2025 19:36

CharlieJaneJay · 13/11/2025 19:07

I’d happily stay at this job if it was fully WFH. The evening before a WFH day I’m chilling and enjoying my evening whereas the evening before an office day I feel sick with dread.

I’ve thought of doing a flexible working request for fully WFH but I expect they will find that cheeky.

On the other hand they have been voted one of the best employers in the country for women so maybe they would understand that being fully WFH would allow me to accommodate childcare without having to sacrifice my job with them?

Edited

I think it’s definitely worth you asking them! It’s not cheeky at all x people need flexibility especially with young families and it’s a job lol not a jail, expectations need to be realistic. Have an honest chat with them and tell them what you've told us, your stressed out, dread workdays, high heart rate etc

AlexiaH · 15/11/2025 19:30

Totally feel for you, I was the same and I’ve no kids! Honestly tho, the £ you think you’re gaining working a 5th day your wasting on Uber, bus/train fare, late fees etc. I think it’s more important that you have the work life balance you need rather than a little but more £ for days out or savings. Put yourself first x that 1 extra day’s pay isn’t all that once you’ve been taxed and ni’d on it, you be better to do the 4days and have a day where you can enjoy baby while she’s little. Ive struggled too to find and stay in remote work but it’s out there, I promise you, it’s not a unicorn! And I see lots if customer service remote roles on sites like Indeed, Reed, also have a google and speak to some agencies and tell them what you want, they’ll do the legwork. Before covid I used to commute 5days, I was tired, miserable, and it cost me £289 a mth 🤦🏼‍♀️ such a waste when TFL is so unreliable, dirty and overcrowded. After covid I was hybrid but whenever they tried cutting the hybrid out, id leave and find another job. It’s mainly poor badly run companies that are still resisting remote/hybrid work. They save £££ on space, amenities etc and you have happier employees. I prefer to get up at 8am and log on for 9am, I have time to shower, have my breakfast. I could never go back to getting up at 6am to be on the train for 7am and at my desk for 8:30am that’s no life, just pure misery

FriendlyJoe · 15/11/2025 19:16

Start looking on Indeed for fully remote roles. But also be open to flexi work as 2 or 3 days in the ofdice is very different to 5.

maggimae68 · 15/11/2025 08:29

There's quite a few websites aimed at those wanting fully remotenwork. Try workingfromhomehub, Flexa, Jungle or look on indeed and filter it by fully remote.
There's tons of customer service jobs that are fully remote in industries like banking, insurance, travel and energy sectors.

StarCourt · 15/11/2025 00:44

i work fully from home and work 4 days per week. I am very flexible about working extra or later though and nobody covers the day I don’t work so I pick that up too. My employer allows me a lot of flexibility, I’ve been here 4 years and it’s only been in the last 16 months that I’ve felt trusted enough to do this. I’m a PA supporting high level Partners who are also very understanding. My salary is very average for the amount of work I do but the flexibility means more to me.

Chinsupmeloves · 14/11/2025 20:14

Unfortunately many of us in non office roles do this every single day with no opportunity to wfh. Of course it would be easier if we could all wfh but society wouldn't function.

Sorry, I know this doesn't answer your question, but to highlight those days at home do compensate a bit?

It was soooooo hard those early years, the daily drop off at nursery at 7.30am, hour commute, pick up at 6pm. DH would sometimes be away as well, so when he got a new job wfh 3 days a week it made life a bit easier.

No chance at all of cutting days so only wfh? It's hard when you're both working full time amd with careful planning you may discover it's doable. You can up your hours as I'm sure you will be valued where you work as you are clearly hardworking. Xxx

BashfulClam · 14/11/2025 20:03

You still haven’t said why your husband can’t do a day if he works 4 days a week? Do you have specific days in the office. I can choose what days I do.

Suednymph · 14/11/2025 19:31

I was going to suggest you pretend to be my kids father, he is that remote they haven't seen him in months haha

Joking aside I think you have it cushy because my commute is an hour each way in the car so no being able to crack on with work on a train or read to relax its just up school run drive work drive home but I guess each person is different. If you really feel you cannot afford to drop a day then all you can really do is ask for more flexibility and mention you are finding it hard and see what they say.

Titasaducksarse · 14/11/2025 19:06

Ask to start later and finish earlier on office days so you still have a presence. Doesn't need to be significantly later/earlier but so you always get to nursery on time.
Then make up the couple of hours on your WFH days by starting earlier or working later.

ThisMellowCat · 14/11/2025 18:46

I work from home full time and worked for serco and G4s. Just check online for home based roles or specific companies who do work remote, like those above or insurance companies and mobile phone companies.

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 14/11/2025 18:21

Does your partner pick up on his day off, is his day off one of your office days? I would request flexible working.

I work for a charity and work mostly from home, in the office 2-3 times a month.

menopausalmare · 14/11/2025 18:05

Get a bike, walk her to nursery then cycle on.

Ihatemondays1962 · 14/11/2025 18:04

Carzycat · 13/11/2025 22:07

My job is fully remote, for a Charity and there are quite a few charities which also offer remote jobs. https://www.theworkfromhomehub.co.uk advertises loads of remote roles. Good luck!

I was going to suggest this page too. They have an active Facebook page too with lots of suggested jobs.

PeachyKoala · 14/11/2025 09:38

Definitely put the request in to wfh at your current place OP, worse they can say is no. I work for the NHS in a technical role and our whole department wfh 5 days a week on a permanent basis. I'd recommend trying to get into NHS IT if you can - even starting off on service desk to begin with as most trusts are in the process of moving their IT departments to remote work due to the need for clinical space.

PetuniaP · 13/11/2025 22:53

Poppy123xyz · 13/11/2025 19:24

40 minutes one way? Mine is 1.5 hours. Hard to find any sympathy

Was this necessary?
It isn't a competition for who has the longest commute.

ZestForRest · 13/11/2025 22:53

ZestForRest · 13/11/2025 22:44

Couple of things

  1. Surely you do your WFH days when your DH is at work? That way it's only 2 difficult days?
  2. You could ask to leave early and make up the time
  3. Are you paying £75 a day childcare?? Because you say you lose £600 to childcare, which I assume is half (£1200) and your DH has her home with him, so £1200÷ 4 weeks is £300. £300÷4 is £75.

Has it really gone up that much lately?! That's crazy!? Could you get a childminder?

Eta, are you not eligible for tax free childcare?

Edited

Eta - just checked and it really is that expensive now 😱

HollaHolla · 13/11/2025 22:51

How about requesting shorter days in the office, and making up the time on the WFH days? I'd be requesting 2 days in office, say 09:30-1630; and 3 days WFH 08:30-1730, or similar, to make up how many hours a week you're contracted for. Yes, you'd have to be out earlier/home later than you are at present, on your WFH days, but it would take the sting out of the rushes on office days.
You could even say you're willing to review once your little one is a bit older.
I've approved similar for team members returning from Mat Leave.

PetuniaP · 13/11/2025 22:51

My job is fully remote. I had an informal occasional WFH day when I first started but switched to 100% home based contract because of the commute. The trade off is that I work slightly longer days instead so they do get more hours out of me, but I can flex round life.