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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

i care too much what people think so here goes...

57 replies

flangebuckets · 13/11/2025 15:31

i dont even know why i should care, im 48 im not getting any younger but somehow i do worry what people will think...

my husband died in feb (cancer), and i met someone about 6 weeks ago, well we were friends for longer and are dating now, i just worry what everyone else thinks, i dont have kids its just me my parents and some close friends.

with the state of people in their late 40s, i dont want to waste this chance but equally theres a nagging thought in my head of what people will think, why is my brain even working like that?

i mean im overthinking it probably but i have my parents over this weekend and perhaps thought about mentioning it to them

lifes short i need to live it? i might be dead next year too who knows

internet do your thing and put this into perspective?

OP posts:
CatAsstrophe · 13/11/2025 15:41

I'm sorry for your loss @flangebuckets

Everyone deserves happiness in their lives, and if your new relationship makes you happy, go for it!

I wish you all the best for the future. 🌻

XWKD · 13/11/2025 15:35

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Maybe keep this to yourself a bit longer if you don't want people sticking their noses in, but otherwise I'm so glad you found someone and you should be able to shout it from the rooftops if you want. Nobody can say you're doing anything wrong. You're not.

MintTwirl · 13/11/2025 15:35

Allow yourself the chance to find happiness again. I’m sorry you have been through a difficult time,

frozendaisy · 13/11/2025 15:35

Do your parents need to know right now?

NarwhalBuddy · 13/11/2025 15:34

I agree with pp. I think you need to follow your happiness.

Donnyoh · 13/11/2025 15:34

I'm sorry for your loss Op. Don't you worry about what others think about dating someone new. You're always going to get busybodies who think they have the right to judge others. Just make sure your new partner treats you right.

I dated a widowed man and some people didn't like it. They can go fly a kite.

BlueDwarf · 13/11/2025 15:33

My answer would be very different if you had children, but as the only persons feelings you really have to consider are your own then you should go for it.

Whether it is temporary or lasts, if it makes you feel better then why not.