i care too much what people think so here goes...

You have one life OP, you know that better than anyone lovely. Live it to the full. Read Let Them by Mel Robbins…life changing.

Young widow here. People will judge. They will dress it up as being worried for you. They might tell you you are 'too vulnerable'. Protect yourself by not sharing if you think you'll be judged - just say he's a friend if asked.

As it happens, my attempts at relationships haven't worked out. But I have no regrets - I tried, and I've learnt a lot about what I need and what I can and can't offer others. I had some much needed fun too. Just protect yourself from anyone taking advantage of your life insurance payout and go forth.

A member of my extended family got together with a long-standing family friend within a year of losing his wife and everyone was happy for him after the ordeal he'd been through. Anyone who loves you should be happy for you if you're happy

Do you actually have reason to believe that your parents will be anything other than delighted you have found someone who makes you happy again?

If you're worried about gossip keep it quiet for a while longer, it's not lying it's just keeping some privacy. It is hard to deal with being judged, especially on top of a bereavement, so do whatever is easier for now. If you're a long term friend of the man anyway, it would be normal for you to see him socially?

Fellow member of the shitty club here, and the biggest thing I have learned over the last nearly four years is that a widow's place is in the wrong x

I say go where your heart leads you. Every situation and individual is different, and there is no hard and fast "formula" for widowhood despite what the world tries to sell us.

I've really toughened up and pared down my circle to a handful of people who see me, not "the widow".

Even if it's not a long term thing, it's something that is happening in your life and will bring its own benefits or lessons, and those are yours and yours alone. Part of the "rich tapestry" .

Really, until / unless the situation is cemented in your mind and heart, there's no need to share much beyond "I'm doing x at the weekend, oh, yes, with Bob. How are the petunias doing?"

Unfortunately being a widow seems to be a bit like being pregnant, everyone has an opinion / advice / well meaning concern etc. But it's your life and your business and you're still a grown functioning woman with a mind of your own x

I wish you every good thing moving forward, as others have said, life is short and often brutal x

Nothing at all wrong with having someone new in your life. I've known a few people who have met someone after about the same interval. One ended up marrying the new man about a year after her first husband died - they were a perfect fit. Another relationship didn't work out (I think mainly because of interference from her stepchildren who thought it was too soon), but it was fun while it lasted. I would be honest with your parents and if they do make any negative comments, just tell them that he makes you happy and that's the main thing.

You’re not beholden to anyone.
Enjoy the time you have x

What @frozendaisy said above.
I wish you luck.

It’s possible that you have done your grieving while they were still here. It’s no one business but your own.

as for what to tell your parents, my approach was to say I had got to know a group of people, who enjoyed each others company and had no family ties.

use a few different names when referring to the group. All good.

My aunt remarried six months after her husband died. She didn't need anyone else's approval.

Everyone is different. Do what feels right for you.

I like the phrase about judgemental folk/worrying what people thing - ‘those who matter don’t care, those who care don’t matter.’

The same people who will judge you are the first to disappear after the dust is settled. They aren't sitting in with you on the lonely dark nights.

I wish you all the luck and peace in the world.

I’m widowed too, and one thing I have learned for certain, is that people will judge you. Not just for a new relationship, but for everything. Usually because they have a preconceived idea of how they think they would or should behave in the same situation, but the truth is, they haven’t got a clue. This makes their opinions worthless, but people will probably be polite enough not to say anything anyway. You need to make peace with allowing them to think what they want, while carrying on doing what you know makes sense for your own life. Your heart can grow even while it’s grieving.

I would say don’t make any big life altering decisions any time soon, but that won’t be a problem if the new relationship is right.

People are going to talk, say it’s too soon etc. especially those who were close to your husband.

People that love you will nonetheless be happy if you’re happy. If you think you’re ready to have a relationship, that’s really all that matters.

Life is too short to pass on opportunities to be happy. I’m sorry for your loss, but you’re still young and you have many years to live and enjoy ahead of you. The dating pool is pretty grim so if you’ve connected with someone who’s good for you then go for it and be happy.
You could talk about him as a friend who understands your situation so it doesn’t feel as if you’re being deceptive? But ultimately you’re an adult and can decide how you want to live your life.

You don't have kids and inheritance issues to consider, so what you do is your call.

I would say protect your finances and be proceed with caution. I found there are some very predatory men out there who thinks widows are easy pickings.

My situation was different, my husband died of cancer when our kids were teens so there was no way I was going to get serious about someone and move them in or marry them. My financial advisor even asked if I was planning on remarrying.

It's really nobody's business but yours that you're dating someone. You've only been dating a few weeks, there's really nothing to tell. If someone finds out and disapproves, tough. It's not their life.

They might be pleased for you perhaps you will be surprised. I don't see why people would care only to be concerned that you are ok. I would be open and honest best way.

I'm sorry about your husband.

Lufe is for living so I see absolutely nothing wrong with dating again. There's no way of knowing if it's too soon, you only know thst in the fullness of time.

I wouldn't tell anyone under any circumstances about someone I had only dating 6 weeks. I might tell friends the odd time but have never told family or colleagues until at leasr 6 months and I know it's got potential.

There is nothing wrong with starting a relationship but 6 weeks seems a little early to start telling people. I would keep quiet until I definitely knew he was a keeper but if you know that at such an early stage then that’s fine.

Lost my husband 10 years ago, I was 39.
I met someone 6 weeks later and we are still together now.
My circumstances are probably different as I nursed my husband through terminal cancer and then found out he cheated. I didnt find out until after he had died...

Anyway I wasn't looking for anyone but I was lucky to meet someone where everything clicked into place.
I started to slowly feel love again and I started to love myself too.
I stopped caring what any body else thought, as they were not living my life and quite frankly after the death, they weren't the ones sitting alone every night with the thoughts I had in my head.
We only have one life. Grab happiness.

In all honesty I would have said 2-3 years a while ago. But a friend lost her husband and she was with someone else 6 months later. You're right, life is so very short and who knows what will happen tomorrow.

None of the people who criticise are sitting with you alone at night. It's none of their business. So what if you are acting through grief as someone else has said - it's your life, your choice and your way ( maybe) of getting through a difficult time. It may not last but it may. Do what helps you to move forward.

As no kids I would follow your gut. Until you know where this is heading , do your parents need to know? Maybe just mention that you’ve been seeing someone and enjoying their company but keep it vague for now.

It really doesn't matter what other people think. But allow yourself to take control of the situation. You don't need to tell them yet. They don't need to meet him yet. Give it a few months. Maybe mention him as a friend if he is around at Christmas. Take your time sharing the news with others until you are ready to tell them and care less what they think, and enjoy the relationship meantime.