Exasperated with nip screw husband.

Havent heard the expression nip screw for a long time - its a great saying!

Tell him a divorce will cost him more than a dishwasher, and that Mr Boaty McBoatface should remember that the next time he considers sending something back or telling you what you shouldn’t dare to buy.

Sometimes parts are close to the cost of the appliance, which makes it not worth it to mend rather than replace.

First response in a Google search attached …

Well, google cannot find the expression in the entire history of published books. And plain google doesn't find anything similar.

errorNo valid ngrams to plot!
errorNgrams not found: "nip screw"

I think you may have had different answers if you'd said about your DH's operation a few years ago , which changed his personality for the worse and that you occasionally catch glimpses of how he used to be .

I feel for you and hope your group in Facebook is helping you with support .

I think you may have missed the underlying problems...the dishwasher is the very tip of a gigantic iceberg!

You really need to move half the joint saving (before purchase of car, boat and bicycle) into your name. Ideally you would now control even more of your joint finances. Would he go for counselling now, do you think?

I can understand why he now feels he wont to make the most of his life and spoil the family while he can. He may feel some resentment that you will probably out live him. That doesnt excuse his behaviour though. Protect yourself.

I note in one of your posts that you felt he was very generous to the kids but tight as a screw towards you, and you wondered if he hates you.

I would check that he hasn't written you out of his will (jointly held stuff won't be affected), so try to find out if he has amended the will in any way since his illness. I doubt he would be considered of sound mind if he did disinherit you though post illness.

It's just something to put on your to do list.

Even when I was single I bought a dishwasher as soon as I could afford it and had the space. I fully support the OPs loathing of the tyranny of washing up after every meal. It's fine on an occasional basis, but it's the relentlessness of three meals a day, seven days a week that makes life without a dishwasher unnecessary drudgery for me if there is an alternative.

OP - your husband really doesn't sound as if he is very nice to you, and it sounds as if you have been putting up with treatment that you shouldn't have to put up with. I hope things improve.

Was intrigued about the post-surgery changes.

Found this: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0895796722000035

"anxiety, depression, PTSD, and isolation are real parts of living with AD"

Apologies if already seen, OP

And sometimes in a very diplomatic way I sit my DH down and say “watch my lips, this is what I am going to do”.

My husband is the same, so generous but then he overthinks it and tries to backtrack, because he thinks he can fix it.

he bought a boat without my knowledge recently.
He has been known to send stuff that I've bought back

He bought a boat?!?! A fecking boat!! And has the cheek to send stuff back that you've bought.

You have more problems than a dishwasher I think.

Like @TessoftheDobermans and @TinyTear I also remember your previous threads. I'm sorry to hear things got much worse, and that he's still finding it funny. Have you talked with your children about it? Seem to recall you talking with your DD about his post surgery personality change.

It is always okay to divorce, whether that's you don't like him anymore, or he's straight up abusive. You can't live the rest of your life on memories of who he used to be. At least your money will be all yours.

(Your username always reads to me as 'my other Carl is a Porsche, amusingly memorable.)

Just buy a dishwasher.

Tell him to fck off 😀 and get him out of your life 👍
(I googled "nip screw person", and it points me either to this here thread, or to bdsm nipple clamps 😂)

Just go and visit friends/family for a few days and let him solve the problem himself.

It's starting to feel like the dishwasher incident is just highlighting a massive elephant in the room where any expense occured for you is a waste in his eyes where he and daughters will get new cars and a boat for goodness sake.
Read him the flipping riot act and get ducks in a row. Won't necessarily come to that but he certainly doesn't look like he values u. Ghastly attitude.

Move your half of your savings into your own savings account. Protect what you have worked and saved over the years.
The If your husband had dementia and was spending like a teenager with his first wage packet, would you give him your debt card and say : ‘there you go, have some fun with that.’ ?

Ps when we needed a new one (notice we not I) we ordered one which was fitted and the 2 guys took away our old one - bit extra but worth it. H struggles with any DIY so I never, ever risk it.

Flippin’ Nora it’s 2025, women died to get equality a hundred years ago!!
So get it ordered AND do not wash even a teaspoon until it’s fitted.

I read posts like this and think: I don't understand some people at all. Surely you just say: No, I'm not in the least extravagant. I am not the one who bought a boat without consulting my spouse. I have ordered a new dishwasher and paid for it to be properly installed and if you challenge this, you will do all the washing up from now on and I will sell your boat because it is an extravagance we didn't both agree to. But let's keep the boat and the dishwasher, eh?