Exasperated with nip screw husband.

Think you're a few pages behind...the new dishwasher is already in use.

Have you sorted out the savings yet? You need to protect your future.

Op has already got the bloody dishwasher!!!

Let your husband get a replacement part again, there's too much waste nowadays, no one gets anything fixed because of labour and call out costs. Be grateful for your handy husband. Boo hoo that you have to wash up for a bit. If you're one if those that allows men to not wash up, more fool you!

He’s a real ‘tool’ isn’t he? Print out the page of the dishwasher you want, including details of delivery, fitting and removal of the old one (Curry’s do the full service) and stick the page under his nose, saying that you want him to order it by teatime. If he doesn’t, then you order it using the joint account. Well done for leaving the washing up, once the dw is fitted he can spend a happy few hours doing a few loads testing it out. Don’t stand for any of his nonsense or drama. If he’s worried about he cost, he can deduct it from DD’s car money.
Good luck, let us know the outcome!🙂🥄🥄🥄

We reverse the standard "one cooks, the other washes up" because I wash up as I go and prefer cooking meals in one or two pots while DH uses every utensil in the entire kitchen and it looks like a bomb's gone off.

How often do your DGC hear him shouting and swearing? I think it’s appalling that you and your DCs allow this to happen while they are in your care. I don’t think you understand just how bad this is for ND children.

Fair enough. I don't use AI as a serious research assistant. It was just a little lighthearted search 😂

Have you ever talked back when your dh says you are extravagant and told him when your extravagance gets up to his level (giving away £12,000, buying a boat etc) then you might listen to him but whilst he is spouting hypocritical nonsense then he isn’t worth taking notice of

For laughing about using your own savings on a dishwasher I would transfer the cost of the dishwasher and what interest you would have lost having to pay for it from savings out of the joint account

Actions have consequences

Whilst you might be able to rationalise your dh’s abuse, how can you stand by and listen to your dh abusing your GC. They don’t understand that GF has brain damage They just hear abuse.

Whilst this abuse might be bad for Nt children this abuse is so much worse for dc who are ND. Especially as he is targeting their Neurodiversity.

If he can’t help being abusive because a medical procedure then why is he targeting a
child who can’t help doing what they are doing because of ND issue.

I wouldn’t be looking after dgc if he is in the house.
He is damaging them.

I don’t think you understand how bad his actions and words are

Really don’t get the angst you gave him a chance to fix the dishwasher he did it broke down again, you have a joint account so just buy a cheap dishwasher get someone to deliver plumb and take away if you can’t do it yourself. Whatever your disagreement about washing up it’s minging to refuse to wash up for 2 days.

Buy a new one the same color as the old one. Tell him you fixed the old one.

Tell him to get a new dishwasher immediately..

His behaviour is appalling.

If he thinks there is not enough money he can call in the money of your daughter or sell the boat.

FFS

When your DH starts to rant could you record him and after several recordings, at a quiet moment when he is calm play them back or even have your DC sitting round a table with you for support . This may help him realize what he sounds like and what you are going through.
Or even get an appointment with the surgeon who originally asked if his personality had changed.

Depends how far north or maybe a very small regional saying but I knew exactly what Nip Screw meant.

Yes this. Do you have a joint account for family expenses or does he hold all the money. If the latter insist on a change.

Dad used to say it was about having to use a spanner to get a coin out of someone's hand.

Arrggh! Now what does that mean?

I would say that that is a explanation of someone who is tight fisted/miserly.

You have to take money from their hand by force.

Still doesn't explain nip screw imo though.

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche remove your money from the joint savings account and put it into your personal account if husband wants to spend spend spend let him do it with his own savings not yours, he can’t dictate what you can spend money on then go splurge it all himself. PLEASE take your money back and tell him to leave it seems clear from your posts no one in your family is happy about how your being treated, best of luck to you OP go be happy without him and don’t feel bad about fucking him out because if the roles were reversed hubby would have divorced and remarried by now

Order it including delivery and installation, but only in your full name Hide the order documentation somewhere impossible for him to find (ie if online, print and then delete from system)
It's appalling that you have to do this but you have to outwit his controlling behaviour.

In the meantime, say nothing, do no dishes!
Trust me, I had to do similar for 30 years, until the day came when I finally filed for divorce.

Nip screw is northern possibly - my grandma used to say it as well as my mum and dad. Dad used to say it was about having to use a spanner to get a coin out of someone's hand.

I don't think it's Northern. Lived in the north all my life and never heard it.

Dad used to say it was about having to use a spanner to get a coin out of someone's hand.

Arrggh! Now what does that mean? I wish people on this site would stop talking in riddles and code and just come right out and say what they mean. I don't understand what either of your sayings are remotely saying. So you answered with an even harder to understand saying. Can you just say in plain English what you mean?

AI is not a research tool. There is a link earlier in the thread, and here is another (search in the document) sedberghlookaround.org.uk/issues/189%20May%202002.pdf

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche Get the dishwasher and tell him "It's my boat."

Or slap a big red bow on top and wish him a Merry Fucking Christmas.

‘Nip screw’? Shouldn’t this be in the ‘sexual fetishes’ section?

And the obvious solution is to buy more teaspoons.

I haven’t heart nip screw before. First thoughts were he was one of those tedious men who thinks it is bloody hilarious to twist your nipples like they are turning the volume or up down on a dial, sometimes by older men, who make the accompany radio tuning sounds. Vagina clamped shut.

Anyway, LTB. What a selfish prick.