Most times he sees them - it's a watered down version of swearing - but still very offensive.
Blithering bloody idiot, clumsy sod, stupid, what's wrong with you idiot?
I go to one daughter's house to childmind: it's an hour away by car so he doesn't see our three DGC who live there very often.
My other daughter drops her children off here on her way to work. If I went out to childmind, I would never be at home and it made me feel under pressure to spend my day off cleaning instead of relaxing.
These DGC still adore him, he's just spent two cold and wet hours with them at their football club this morning. He takes the boys to drive their quad bike and motor bike. He takes them on the train regularly for days out. He goes swimming with them every Sunday. He toasts marshmallows with them whenever they have a sleepover. He does all the great outdoor stuff with them, whereas I am the boring one who makes them read their school books, practice handwriting, quiet crafts, board games, home corner stuff. I make meals for them, clean their shoes, put their coats near the radiator so they're warm for when they go out. I clean and tidy up after them, buy their shoes and coats (like my mum used to with my children).
When they arrive they always run to grandad and he will throw them in the air and they have a 'mad half hour'.
The majority of the time he's fun and perfectly reasonable. But there's always a point where, for example, there's too many crumbs, someone drops something messy, DGS has not eaten anything, they ignore his requests ....
I have to jump in - and when they've gone, tell him he can't say that and he'll insist he's in the right and that they'll never learn while I'm pandering to them and wrapping them in cotton wool. He says they'll get worse abuse at school. And they have really: one of them gets called 'Dalek' because of how he speaks and one gets called 'Dropsy' because he has epilepsy and falls spectacularly, there are many falls documented in his seizure record - he had a terrific fall on sports day and the whole of KS 1/early years saw it. Both terms, I think, coined by adults and just as bad as H's insults.
When he's not here the DGC ask for him - they want him around.
I know he models cruel behaviour. I can preempt some of it and smooth things over before he has a chance to wade in but his vile words always seem to be able to escape him.
He was not like this before - in fact, he was always at work before his surgery and only saw them on sleepovers and family get togethers.
He saves the spicier swearing for me.