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Exasperated with nip screw husband.

384 replies

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 13/11/2025 11:18

He has recently replaced DD's car and is allowing her to keep the money that she gets when she has sold her old car - which should be around £12,000. He is a generous father.

But he's a nip screw husband.

The dishwasher which I have had for 15 years broke down a month ago and instead of replacing it with a new one, he ordered the part required and fixed it himself (he's also very practical).

This part lasted short of a month and the dishwasher, which let's face it, is elderly, has again broken down.

It has been broken for a few days and I hate washing up as he insists on cooking and he uses every pot and utensil we possess.

I have sourced a replacement which can be picked up in store within the hour. But he says that he's going to fix the old one and 'don't you dare go wasting money'.

There are two days worth of dishes piled up in the kitchen because I am refusing to (blackmailing) hand wash anymore. He's stomping around effing and Jeffing because there are no clean teaspoons. Poor man.

Should I order whatever I want - I can get delivery tomorrow? Or wait for him to be bothered to order the part he thinks he needs - which may or may not fix an ancient relic?

Why is he generous with the children but not with me? Should I LTB? He hates me doesn't he?

OP posts:
Megifer · 13/11/2025 12:06

He can't send stuff back if he doesn't have the order details. Stop giving them to him for a start.

Id have ordered the dishwasher and paid for fitting and old one to be taken away by now.

Just get it ordered and stop letting him be a tight arse.

Octavia64 · 13/11/2025 12:05

I had one like this.

he was a fucking nightmare. Tried to fix everything himself regardless of whether he had the knowledge or not.

I believe he’s nicer to his second wife.

Aaron95 · 13/11/2025 12:04

LadyDanburysHat · 13/11/2025 11:21

I've never heard or nip screw. But fuck it, order the dishwasher.

Me neither. I wondered if it was some sort of torture device.

Thortour · 13/11/2025 12:04

I worry that I thought this was about nipple clamps. I’m going to go for a walk and think about my life.

BauhausOfEliott · 13/11/2025 12:03

Most of our money is in joint accounts - but I've always asked to spend larger amounts (he doesn't) - he bought a boat without my knowledge recently.

Don't ask him and just buy the fucking dishwasher, then!

If he questions this, point out that he bought a boat and didn't even tell you.

Glennponder · 13/11/2025 12:03

LTB
Seriously

GasPanic · 13/11/2025 12:01

Sometimes you can fix stuff at a fraction of the cost of buying something new.

So before I have spent £5 on a part and got an extra 2 years out of an appliance for very little effort.

Other times I have had to tinker around for ages, spent money on parts and still had to scrap something.

There is a balance point between buying new stuff when you don't really need to and recognising that something has probably had its lifespan and needs to be replaced. it doesn't sound like your husband has got a good handle on that point.

A15 year old appliance doesn't really owe you much in terms of lifespan.

PastaAllaNorma · 13/11/2025 11:59

Excellent use of nip screw. I know it more commonly as nip cheese or cheese-paring.

Buy the dishwasher. Sod him.

BonfireToffee · 13/11/2025 11:53

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 13/11/2025 11:40

@moita
Most of our money is in joint accounts - but I've always asked to spend larger amounts (he doesn't) - he bought a boat without my knowledge recently.

He has been known to send stuff that I've bought back. I'd be embarrassed if I had to arrange for a new dishwasher to be collected.

But I'm not washing the dishes! And I'm not caving in! I will stand firm!

My own money is in savings which cannot be accessed easily.

I don't want a fancy, more expensive model - just a good basic make will do. And I can't see another lasting as long as this one has.

He says I'm extravagant - which couldn't be further from the truth. The current dishwasher is the first one I'd ever had, I refuse to go back to dishwashing by hand.

He bought a fucking boat without asking but you’re not allowed to get a dishwasher, and he won’t wash up by hand?

Yes, he hates you. I’m sorry x

PandoraSocks · 13/11/2025 11:53

I’d even pay the extra for it delivered, plumbed in and old one taken away

This! Then he has no choice but to accept that the old dishwasher is no more.

SockBanana · 13/11/2025 11:52

He gets to spenda/give away vast amounts of money but you've been banned from buying a household appliance?
What would happen if you just bought it?

Is this a one off, or a pattern? Can it be discussed or if he financially controlling you?

FrangipaniBlue · 13/11/2025 11:50

Honestly the dishwasher would be the hill I’d choose to die on.

If wants to return it then he arranges, which he’d find pretty difficult to do if the order is in your name and receipt in your email inbox.

I’d even pay the extra for it delivered, plumbed in and old one taken away.

happygertie · 13/11/2025 11:50

I would order it and if he tries to send it back, I would stand firm and only agree to it going back if his boat also goes back!

PandoraSocks · 13/11/2025 11:50

BatchCookBabe · 13/11/2025 11:45

Order the effing thing if none of you can be arsed to handwash a single cup.

Good grief, if ever a thread needed the term 'first world problems' this is it!

And what on earth is a nip screw husband? Did you make that up? Is it just in your family this saying???

It is an old expression, see the mention here:

https://www.nationaltrustcollections.org.uk/object/3131307.2

hididdlyho · 13/11/2025 11:49

YANBU, I would just order the dishwasher by this point.

Is 'nip screw' basically another way of saying tight fisted?

Sunnydaysandcrispyleaves · 13/11/2025 11:49

I would be more concerned that you refer to the dishwasher as yours. It’s an item of household equipment that everyone benefits from and everyone can use. If it needs replacing and you can afford to do so then crack on :)

Abracadabrador · 13/11/2025 11:46

He says you're extravagant, sends your property back to sender, purchased a secret boat and tells you to 'not dare'?

Are you not repulsed by him? Selling the house and splitting half his pension will be an extravaganza for him.

BatchCookBabe · 13/11/2025 11:45

Order the effing thing if none of you can be arsed to handwash a single cup.

Good grief, if ever a thread needed the term 'first world problems' this is it!

And what on earth is a nip screw husband? Did you make that up? Is it just in your family this saying???

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 13/11/2025 11:45

@OriginalSkang

No idea - where it comes from. Just thought it was in normal use - unless it was just made up by my equally frustrated mother.

OP posts:
Mix56 · 13/11/2025 11:43

Does he allow you new clothes? Hair cut ? What car does he drive? You drive ?
Why cant you say, I am buying a new dishwasher, I am not living with a Scrooge, you are bunging 12K (effectively) to DD, but want to tinker & bodge a 15 yr old dishwasher, & in the mean time not doing any washing up.
I’m ordering a new machine.”

Hoppinggreen · 13/11/2025 11:43

This is the twat with the boat you posted about previously (maybe not and there are others)?
Eithr way just order a bloody Dishwasher.
My DH likes fixing things but he knows when its time to replace things as well

Caroparo52 · 13/11/2025 11:41

Order it woman

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 13/11/2025 11:40

@moita
Most of our money is in joint accounts - but I've always asked to spend larger amounts (he doesn't) - he bought a boat without my knowledge recently.

He has been known to send stuff that I've bought back. I'd be embarrassed if I had to arrange for a new dishwasher to be collected.

But I'm not washing the dishes! And I'm not caving in! I will stand firm!

My own money is in savings which cannot be accessed easily.

I don't want a fancy, more expensive model - just a good basic make will do. And I can't see another lasting as long as this one has.

He says I'm extravagant - which couldn't be further from the truth. The current dishwasher is the first one I'd ever had, I refuse to go back to dishwashing by hand.

OP posts:
Abracadabrador · 13/11/2025 11:36

'don't you dare go wasting money'.

On account of that, I would fill my house with brand new dishwashers and fill in a divorce form.
No man would tell me to 'not dare' or swear and rage in my home. So unattractive.

KarriTreeSullivan · 13/11/2025 11:33

Just to add, in regards to your final sentence, I think it's quite normal to be more generous with the children, in many ways that with yourselves. It's also his dishwasher, his kitchen, his washing up, so he's not singling you out, the dishwasher is a joint thing belonging to the adults of the house, if you see what I mean. He's trying to save you both money not trying to make you personally suffer, I'd suggest. Based on this, I wouldn't say he hates you at all! He's just trying to do things in a different way to you.

However he's being silly here and you should just buy the dishwasher, or tell him he must do all the washing up until it's sorted if this is what he really wants to do.

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