Would your husband care about a one off lesbian kiss

Well it's essentially an emotional affair, regardless of sex. So yes my DP would be hurt. It wouldn't lessen because of the gender of the other person.
For what it's worth, my DP works away and very long, unsociable hours also. I too rely on friends for support. I don't kiss them.

Also my BF IS a Lesbian and I have never kissed her.
We are friends and have a husband/wife and it would never occur to me to think about her sexually and I imagine its the same for her

The Lesbian bit is irrelevant, you are married and kissed someone else, thats cheating

These are exactly the same things I do with my best friends…..I don’t snog them and hide it from my husband.

It sounds like you have identified issues to be addressed in your marriage OP so I would focus on that and avoid getting into that situation again.

I do think you need to acknowledge that kissing a woman is cheating just as much as kissing a man would be. Almost worse in a way as you have formed such a close personal connection with her.

I used to be a problematic binge drinker and in all my years of getting hammered, sometimes blackout drunk, with v close female friends, some of who are bi or gay, I have NEVER kissed one of them. At the very least you have an attraction to this woman so that's something you need to think about

I had a very good friend in my village, we did everything together. Our boys were born a week apart. We ended up running the local toddler group together. At one point we had a double pram for the boys, I had an older child at school and she’d bring the double (she bought it second hand and wanted more kid in the future) as she passed the school on the way to set up for the toddler group. My son would walk, then he’d hop in the pram by his little mate, I’d continue on with the school run and she’d then be free to set up the hall as I had the boys with me. We went everywhere and took the pram on all outings. Never did it cross my mind to kiss her or vice versa. There’s more to this than just a kiss. My husband would leave me.

It sounds like you have identified issues to be addressed in your marriage OP so I would focus on that and avoid getting into that situation again.

I do think you need to acknowledge that kissing a woman is cheating just as much as kissing a man would be. Almost worse in a way as you have formed such a close personal connection with her.

I used to be a problematic binge drinker and in all my years of getting hammered, sometimes blackout drunk, with v close female friends, some of who are bi or gay, I have NEVER kissed one of them. At the very least you have an attraction to this woman so that's something you need to think about

If as a non lesbian, you have felt so lonely, unsupported and bored you have ended up in an emotional affair and kissing a woman friend, then really it's time to discuss this properly with your husband. You are obviously looking for something as your relationship is not giving you what you need, this time it was a female friend and you can detach from it because you ultimately arent gay, but next time it could be a male you start to get close with and then you are in full blown affair territory. And if you find noone else, then what, continue to be lonely, bored and unsupported alone for eternity?

This. Me and my friends have shared beds on multiple occasions, during times where we've been through break-ups, been emotional, extremely drunk etc. Not once have we ever ended up kissing?!

Also what's with the "jealous cave man" comment?! It's nothing to do with jealousy! You've cheated on your husband.

What response did you expect from this thread "Oh no I'm sure he'll be absolutely fine with it and it will fulfil all of his lesbian fantasies. Maybe he'll even want to watch next time!".

You've cheated. Man or woman makes no difference whatsoever.

Quite.

Exactly! Ive never come close to snogging a friend, no matter how close we are, or how much time we spend together.

The way you describe it, it sounds more emotionally involved than crazy one=off night out thing (which I would still have a problem with). It does sound like emotional affair territory regardless of the sex of the person involved.

Are you still spending a lot of time with them?

Well you're bisexual at the very least. In 50-odd years on this planet, and with dozens of female friends over the years, I have inexplicably managed to not kiss/snog the face off any of them. Even when tipsy/drunk/very drunk.

I probably wouldn't tell my husband if I'd kissed another woman though. Why does he need to know? Unless you're worried SHE will tell him.

Stop blaming your husband. This just sounds like the female version of "oh my wife isn't giving me enough attention any more" when a man has sex with someone else, while his poor wife is run ragged looking after a new baby. You are making excuses.

I wouldn’t tell him. What good can come of that? Would you tell him if you kissed a man?

as for ‘no feelings’ involved. Oh, OP. You’ll figure it out eventually, one way or another.
friends don’t kiss like that, and I say that as a gay woman. I wouldn’t kiss a straight OR gay friend like that.

I disagree. If OP is a Lesbian then this will cause problems in the marriage if not now then in the future. But I still dont think she should say anything.

I have kissed women for fun on drunken nights out when younger, DH was present and is not bothered in the slightest. The situation you have described is different though, it’s an emotional connection and there is some form of relationship there not just a silly meaningless kiss.

Fair enough.

I think most people would consider it a form of cheating though and would care a great deal.

There must be emotions involved: I’ve never had the urge to kiss any of my female friends.

The part about him being fully aware of your meet ups… He thinks this is a purely platonic friendship and so has no issue with it. You’ve crossed a line, and I doubt he’d be so easy-going about it if he knew what had happened. You and your friend are taking time apart… Do you think your husband would be so accepting of you meeting up again if he knew the truth?

As a woman in a same sex relationship, I'm loving the insinuation by OP that it's less of an affair because it's a woman, and relationships between women are no big deal?

Yes. Absolutely. I am a bisexual woman and he has been clear about his boundaries over this from the off. I would find it offensive if he didn't acknowledge my sexuality and honestly thought sexual contact between me and another woman was not significant.

Not really, not in the circumstances in the OP.

You cheated on him. It doesn’t matter how you try and dress it up. It’s irrelevant what genitalia the other person has.

Yes my husband would care and see this as cheating, it is. My friend was in a similar position, married and had been with her husband for well over 10 years, very "straight", she decided to kiss a girl at a party, that then moved to dating (with the husband's permission) so my husband and I have discussed this very situation. I viewed it as their marriage was heading for disaster I said to my husband her marriage is over and she doesn't even realise it. My husband made it clear (and I agreed) kissing/spending time with a woman where there's feelings involved is cheating, whether you claim to be straight or not. My friend has been married to a woman for over 4 years now. Thankfully there were no children involved in this situation.

Would you care if your wife kissed another man?