To think people who have never been insanely busy don’t really get it

And do you begrudge her that?

no one can do the school run for me and my kids wouldn’t want someone else doing it.

Pay a local sixth former to do it if you can afford to. They would have to get used to it!

BUT having kids and elderly parents won’t change

Both those things will definitely change!

love this!! This is me! Whoop 🙌

Your life is clearly madly busy and it is completely understandable how stressed you are.

I do wonder though, who is it in your life you want to 'get it'? Maybe some of those people aren't worth your time or energy.

We all have 24 hours in the day, but we definitely don't have the same things to fit in those hours or resources to help us do so.

I worked crushingly long hours in my early/mid twenties and I don't think I had any more free time than I do now, but with 7 DC, a full time job and a marriage to maintain the load just feels completely different because I'm juggling so many different things that others depend on. There will always be some things I can't fit in, and while I try very hard to make intentional choices about what those will and won't be and frame it as wise allocation of my resources, it's impossible not to let the guilt and frustration creep in.

Well you have time for Mumsnet

This is making me nervous, I’ve got a 9m old and about to go back to work full time in my 8-8 job (and that’s on a good day…). I do have a supportive partner but am I mad?! Maybe just naive

To the people saying to fet more organisrr or just carve out an hour etc - you clearly haven't been there!

I hear you. Single mum to 3, full time job (8-4) where taking lunch breaks is frowned on and there is an expectation that you will do extra each night.
My job is phenomenally busy (education) and they take and take.
Im up at 6, home at 4.30, do at least another hour of work then start all the home stuff.

My DD has just failed her driving test but has a part time bar job, so at least twice a week I have to also collect her from work at 11pm.

Im shattered, but I wake early thinking of things I need to do.
My job isn’t even fantastic pay but they drive us into the ground.

Dad is on and off involved, but is basically no help and is incredibly difficult so it’s an added strain.

Its exhausting. My life is exhausting

Sending hugs OP you are not alone

It's more about being organised than being busy, sorry.

Fair enough if you are unable to go to the loo at work, many nurses for example have this issue, but ridiculous when you are at home.

9pm is not that late. You need to make a decision to sit down, and go through your life admin, ideally every night. You have time to be on MN, how can you miss a school email?

Sit down, open your inbox, and go through emails, and deal with them there and then.

I am not giving you a list of things that work, that wasn't the question, but none of you describe is about being insanely busy. It's normal. Change your mindset. Once you get used to be on top of things, you save so much time, and you breath better

Op i so so so get you

I was there for many years. I hope it helps you to know there is light at the end of the tunnel, mine are teens/young adults now and our quality of life is so much better.
We also benefit from the fact that I kept my career going.
That said, if you dropped your hours slightly eg to 4 days would you be entitled to any financial help?

You are not being unreasonable. I feel the same way every time my fully retired mother in law tells me how busy she is and I think well those are all activities you CHOOSE, that’s not the same as firefighting things that absolutely have to get done, is it?!

in regard to messages, just text saying you are having phone detox days for mental health, people always nod sagely when I say that and look guilty/feel judged that they can’t put their phones down

and also, give yourself a phone free evening, it will help. I am aware of the irony as I write this in my phone …

If you’re that busy, how come you’re on here? i have a full time job, family , house ( not a tip ) , i'm relaxing in a hot bubble bath replying to this 🤷‍♀️

And yes OP I think the selling the house ‘inspection ready’ would be the thing to push me over the edge. Poor you.

ps you can def get cleaners who just do the bits you’ve told them to. Clutter does not matter - mine does just 2 hours a week and only does the floors, bathrooms and kitchen. It’s helps loads and doesn’t cost a lot. Worth it for me 😊

You’ve just written my life! It’s exhausting, I hear you.

I have a cleaner. Let standards slip a bit. Set a timer for jobs or for connecting with friends. Write a list of all the things that need doing and prioritise them into months. I.e 5 tasks a month
its tough and I do get overwhelmed- and yes struggle to eat and pee some days!

What age kid/s have you got? Once they leave primary or maybe in yr 6 it gets much better as they can pack their own bags, help do water bottles/packed lunch bits, get themselves to school etc. Plus in the evenings they need you less, have homework etc to just get on with so you get some time back - makes all the difference!

OP I agree and I (mostly) feel the same.

For the PPs saying that ‘everyone is busy and it’s only perception’ I would ask you to take a look at yourselves and check your own privilege. Some jobs genuinely are much busier that others, some people have no family around to help, and the pressure of being a single parent really is a lot. It feels pretty insulting to the OP to imply she’s just managing her time poorly.
Im a single parent who works full time in a full on job. I overall feel quite lucky mostly, but it makes me furious when others imply I ‘should have just found time’ to do something. You never know what others are actually having to deal with.

I hear you OP ....but a friendly reminder to book that smear!

I found it harder than I thought to get the appointment as they were quite booked up and obviously I couldn't go on my period. It's an important one to make and I noticed the longer I didn't make it the more stressed I felt as I know in the back of my mind its an important thing I'm not doing.

So pause something and make the call ❤️.

Of course, that's true, but I think everyone feels they are busy from their own perspective if you have school age kids and work. Some people are part time, some might be staying at home parents etc but I bet everyone thinks or feels they are busy.

Not everyone understands what it is like to shoulder all of the responsibility. It is a lot. I've been a lone parent for a decade.

It sounds like your phone and communication is a source of stress for you. My family and friends know I'm not on social media and wouldn't respond to a photo so I don't have that pressure, and I'm not a fraction as busy as you are! I suggest you get off the SM you don't really need. If you do want to stay in touch then assign times of the day or week and make sure those in your life know this, you respond to messages on Wednesday evening or Sun morning etc.

I agree people don't get it, I've been that busy and never want to go back. My life is moderately busy now and well balanced. I have a sister how works from home, no kids, no specific hobbies and can't seem to understand that my brother and I with young families are not available for a boozy lunch on a random Saturday.

I have been a single parent working full time outside the home, and more recently working from home - you are absolutely right that WFH enables you to get some life admin done and avoid the commute, those years of going out to work everyday were a killer and I completely sympathise.