Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

I’d definitely consider it. And I’m half Indian. It sounds like an adventure and a chance to improve your standard of living.

Can you spend a block of time there before you decide?

What’s your back up plan if it doesn’t work out?

Good luck OP x

These points about health insurance are an interesting wider debate but are mostly irrelevant to OP. Her DH’s job offers good insurance. The family’s immigration status is also tied to the DH’s job. So there’s no scenario where they’re going to be without decent coverage. If he loses his job they will have to leave the country anyway so the insurance coverage won’t be a concern.

It’s all very well saying he’s “white passing” and his surname is ambiguous, but all his official documents, every form he signs will detail his race. Unless he’s going to lie that he’s Caucasian. And then is his father never going to visit?
What kind of message will it give your children that part of their heritage needs to be covered up?

Americans are very good at sniffing out touches of colour as part of general conversation, even African Americans do it ime, it’s not seen as unacceptable.

If he looks Mediterranean whether that’s Italian or Spanish be aware that if he’s mistaken for Hispanic (which isn’t even a race) - ie from Latin America - that’s not seen as white in the US.

In short - financially potentially more comfortable (although higher mortgage rates and property taxes will dent that), racially less comfortable, safety less comfortable.

Ignoring all the political posts, I think you have to weigh up what your life would be like here verses there.

I know people who have moved permanently and it had been a huge success, but I also have a friend who was there on a 3 year posting with her husband’s work and found it very lonely. People were friendly at the school gate, but never reciprocated an invitation to come over for tea. They already had their friends, their family etc and didn’t need anyone else.

Another consideration when you have children is whether you mind if they become American. Their lives will be there, so bringing them home can be harder the older they get. Then before you know it you feel stuck there forever.

Just go for it. Life is short and you can always come back.

Gated communities don't mean you have to stay there all the time, and Connecticut is glorious, so providing the deal stacks up with family health cover and so on I wouldn't hesitate

MN's notoriously anti-American though, so although the state's been Democrat since the early 90's you'll still be advised to expect untold horrors

And I don’t remember asking for anyone’s envy, I only wrote about my personal experience. I could also write about my son noticing a small bump on his abdomen on a Sunday, and having surgery only four days later to have it removed. Or my being hospitalized for a week last year and paying $52 all total out-of-pocket, including for the ambulance that took seven minutes to get to me.

America, like every other country in the world, is made up of people who have more than others, sadly, but if you have an education and a decent job, it can be a great place to live, Trump notwithstanding.

Anyway OP it’s really up to you and your family. You’re getting a lot of different viewpoints on here, obviously as that was the point of your post, to hear different opinions. I guess Connecticut is probably one of the better places to go. Just because some of us wouldn’t want to live in the US doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move. I’d imagine on a pilot’s salary there your family would have an amazing life. You just need to have a good family talk and weigh up the pros and cons. Good luck with whatever you decide.

@Frinklegthere will always be people who do not have the mental risk capacity to take a move like this. Many moons ago I took a job abroad - some guy said to me " but what if you don't like it, you might find it hard to get a job when you come back" . I went and guess what? I never came back - until 34 years later. Some people have the appetite for it and others don't.

For the people giving you worries about healthcare. Is the NHS reliable? Btw private healthcare is going the same way here and add the possibility of being taxed as private schools. The US anti sentiment is ingrained here as seen in BBC bias documentaries.

Yeah because there's absolutely no racism in the US 🙄

All I know is the US is the only first world country where people go bankrupt because of the health care system (it’s actually the number one cause of bankruptcy in the US). Absolutely no one outside the US envies your system.

Guns there and knifes and machetes here. However, here as welll as there the majority are not affected. Specially if you live in a safe area and earn a decent amount. About not feeling home that is what all people who moves countries feel like. If you are worry about being short of cash in the U.K. brace yourself.

I love USA so it sounds like a fantastic opportunity. Will the airline help with the immigration side of things?

It could be an incredible opportunity as a family and I'd go for it but I completely understand your reservations.

The states have guns but the knife crime in the UK is getting worse and worse. I'm terrified for my sons future.

Again, because I guess I wasn’t clear, I am not going to go through every single scenario of who offers coverage and who gets it and how much does it cost, because I have no clue, so maybe ask a McDonalds employee (who flips burgers and isn’t management) all the details?

People buy privately because (as I already said) “almost all full-time jobs” offer insurance. What if you aren’t working, aren’t covered on your spouse’s insurance, working only part-time, etc., etc., etc. Maybe some of those people choose to pay for private coverage?

Looks a bit like the Amityville house. I love America, Americans were very friendly when I worked there off and on in the 90's but I would NOT live under the current laws and orange guy for any money in the world.
Is money a big enough pull for you to give up everything you like about the UK.

I don’t particularly want to stay in the UK, if I had the money I would definitely like to go back to where I have lived (in Europe) but the big house with pool was not on the list of why I’d go (better safety, cleanliness and it’s natural beauty are the motivators). Maybe it’s down to my own personal experiences but stuff like big houses and pools just can't muster up excitemrnt for me. Let me sit on a bench and watch the world go by in beautiful and pretty safe surroundings is my motivator (okay, I was completely spoilt by visuals and relative safety because I lived in Switzerland).

Pimple Popper (app won’t let me edit)

I have a friend in The USA who married an American woman. They have a great life, first in Massachusetts and now doing retirement on Long Island Sound. If you have some money, I think it’s a great place to live. You obviously know the country and your healthcare would be sorted. People are friendly and welcoming-and Connecticut is very different from the Flyovers. You’ll have access to the mountains, the sea and Boston is accessible for city culture. Only you can know whether you’ll fit in and whether the undoubted benefits are worth the drawbacks. However, all countries have their disadvantages-but the USA is still a fine place to live. And if you don’t like Trump-neither do many Americans-and he won’t be there for ever.

Id go for it. US politics does feel dystopian right now, but i think there is a lot to fear in the UK also. The only thing that really shelters you in these climates, is being wealthy and upper-middle class enough to cocoon yourself in a bubble so that none of it impacts you.

Being much better off financially (as you will be in the US) will offer you insulation from the chaos.

If you can afford it, I'd go for a gated community and private school for the kids. Hopefully ride out the current political shitstorm in comfort.

Some emergency treatment is available free (or on a deferred payment plan). But if it’s not an emergency then you have to pay out of pocket or wait until it becomes an emergency eg early stage cancer won’t be treated free of charge until it becomes life threatening. You see those Dr Pimple Pooper type programs on TV where people have lived for years with hugely disfiguring, life-altering growths and UK viewers exclaim ‘why on earth did they let it get that bad?’. That’s why. People die for want of treatment/inability to cover the cost of their prescriptions. If you have money (and the good luck not to be fired and lose your insurance because you can’t work due to bad health), you can access the most amazing first world health care. If you don’t, it’s a brutal place to be.

A big house, a pool and more money for Botox. The trade-off being your kids at risk of being shot every day when they go to school.
Sounds like you need to re-think your priorities in life.

You get a good, full health insurance working at McDonalds (burger flipping, not management) and other low paid jobs?

What happens to anyone if they lose their job, health insurance wise, if it takes months to find another job.

Why would you buy it privately if all jobs give it?

The US has something called at-will which means you could be there ten years and get fired on the spot (not for any wrongdoing).

This! I think you’d kick yourself if you didn’t do it!

New England is lovely , and definitely a place id like to spend time in , So many charming historic towns and beautiful houses.
that being said, and although All these states are blue , I’d be so wary to move right now, nothing sounds right, this has been the longest government shutdown yet, even Aviation sector felt the ripple.
I just couldn’t live in a country with long lines of federal employees at food banks or children, elderly and disabled without food Aid program, and to think this could happen every year and there are people ok with it is beyond my comprehension .