Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

Oh, school shooter drills - your kids will be doing those. And every US parent I know has bought their child those handy bullet proof backpacks or the Kevlar insert that you can put in regular backpacks. But I’m reliably informed that the bullet proof backpacks are considered safer/ more reliable though it can be tricky to get the fashion obsessed teens to use those …

I wouldn’t live anywhere where I felt I had to ‘pass’ for something I’m not. I can ‘pass’ for straight - but life is too fucking short.

Sorry. My internet is slow and so it posted more than once 🫣

Personally I would not but that’s because I have a small son and would fear him attending an American school. However. This is your life and if the pros out way the cons and you and your family are going to benefit from a better life then why not?

good luck with whatever you decide

Go for it. The only thing I'd really be concerned about would be healthcare, and what would happen if you split up from him, if something bad would happen between you. Or, do you think you'd be in a situation where you would want to come home but he loved it so much he wanted to stay out there?

Bad news for you OP. Although ICE absolutely are racial profiling, they’re also going after/hassling anyone not American.
So far my ‘favourite’ detention story is the Irish grandmother - white, married to an American, US Greencard, US born children and grandchildren who’s lived in the US for nearly 50 years - detained in isolation by ICE for a bounced cheque from 10 years ago. proud Republican voters … apparently now the husband now regrets his votes for Trump, they thought only the non-whites we’re going to be harrassed.
god bless ‘Merica. If you go, make sure you carry some docs around with you proving you have the right to be there .

What I don’t get is why you would want to live somewhere where you think your husband would need to pretend to be white and that because your surname sounds English you could get away with not acknowledging Indian heritage 😲

Yep, thats right. Although abortions are certainly NOT banned in Poland. Fair point. Op, just move and see how it goes. Life is short..

I'm guessing you're pretty comfortable, even in the UK

I don't mean this in an arsey way, but how far would this quest for more money take you OP? Because in my mind the quest for more and more money is what has made the USA get so sick. Connecticut is pretty and it would be nice to have a pool etc but would it be home?

My hestitancy would be schooling.
But otherwise, I'd set a time limit and go for it. 2 years, live nicely but save as much as you can without feeling like you're scrimping - and also so you don't get too used to a lifestyle and make it impossible to come back.

I don't think I'd sell my house here. I think I'd rent it out long term, rent somewhere in the US (with a pool so it feels like an upgrade) and whack as much as I could off the mortgage and into investments. Get yourself some work experience in the US if your visa allows - this will help you if and when you decide to return.
And maybe learn a language while you're out there to give yourself more options!

If you're loving it after two years and none of you want to return, then reasses every year.

I have family in Connecticut and like it a lot. Also have family in Texas, Chicago and New Jersey. My work has been split between the UK and the US (mainly the Mountain West) for a few years now.

Sure, you can always come back, but it's never that simple, and definitely not when kids are involved.

I wouldn't, despite loving living in different places and having a strong sense of adventure when it comes to this kind of thing.

A pp said that Trump won't affect your everyday life, but I'm not sure I agree with that. My very close relative lives in a gated community in a gorgeous bit of Lake Michigan. They moved there about 10 years ago and have been very happy. For the first time since they moved, she is now talking about two things: getting a gun and equally, thinking about coming back to the UK.

There are obviously millions of people living happily in the US, and lots of stories here about people moving there and finding it wonderful. You could absolutely find that. However, America is in for a long, long period of political and socio-economical upheaval. The next elections are going to be fraught and possibly not as free and fair as everyone has taken for granted. Ballot box emotions run very high, even in privileged areas. Democracy is threatened and there is a reckoning unfolding of America's identity for the next period of time, in terms of immigration. I wouldn't walk willingly into that for all the tea in China.

But everyone's got an opinion on America atm, that's just mine

Normally I would say go for it. Connecticut is lovely, and if you get your healthcare covered etc it can be a nice life.

But, the brits I know out there at the moment are a bit stuck if they have green cards up for renewal. Their renewals are being delayed for no good reason and they are basically trapped, can’t leave the US to visit family as they might not get back in.

So whilst I would normally say go for it, I’m not sure it is that easy for brits anymore.

I’d go for it
we are looking into moving too for my husbands job and I’ve looked into work over their in my industry and job market seems good.

DS is half Indian. He went on a school trip to Washington a few months ago. His teachers and all his White friends were worried he and his Guatemalan friend would get stopped. His White friends all got stopped. He walked straight through! He is not ' white passing'and probably looks South American. There are tons of Indians who live in the US. My gay Indian cousin lives in Texas and loves it!

Some of us are Brits living in USA!

I would consider it. Having been to America a number of times and having family there. However I don’t have young kids.

I would go for it. America is huge. We did a big trip in 2009, though as tourists it is different. Amazing opportunity.

We were a no for many reasons even pre-Trump, but now? Absolutely not.

Married to an American, we’re both white, MC, plenty of money, 2 kids.
no, would be by answer, not with children, and double no with mixed race children. Guns, shooter drills, crime levels = can’t begin to explain how much safer you are and feel in U.K. compared to being in the USA.

Given the opportunity I would go for it for v these reasons. I love America ( not its politics and I havent been for years) but I would love to go to the California National Parks, the Great Lakes etc. I have been to a lot of U S cities and loved them. The politics are crap but day to day Id imagine its not massively life affecting ( especially in Conneticut) and you can always come home after a few years. I have older children though so dont have to worry about custody/ one parent disagreeing re staying etc. I think unfortunately as a professional couple on a good salary and presumably paid for healthcare you will have a brilliant life compared to other Americans. But most of the people on MN have a brilliant life compared to the worlds poor and dispossessed.

OP, if you’re black I wouldn’t go. If you’re using contraception and still child-rearing age I wouldn’t go unless you’re willing to have another baby. If you have health conditions requiring medical care I wouldn’t go.

I think you’ve got this the wrong way round! Trump is a corrupt narcissist recorded as saying his driving goal is to be the most famous, most powerful and most rich person in the world. Starmer is a man who scrubbed his brother’s toilet clean after he died last Christmas, bought his disabled dying mother a field so she could still see the donkeys, and spent his career in Human Rights law defending the under dogs.

This government’s been pretty inept at communications and made bad missteps, but if integrity is your benchmark then I know who I’d rather have in charge.

Go for it! What an adventure, and the house looks amazing. Ignore the doomsayers, they watch too much BBC news.

The mcmansion would take about seven hours a day to clean. But I guess you'll have a maid?

It doesn't float my boat in this climate tbh. I used to live in NY back in the early 2000s. It was alright but there's something really stressful about the vibe. But then somewhere like Greenwich CT would be really quiet and boring and not far from the city.

I guess you can always move back if it goes tits up though. But it would be a real upheaval. Don't go just because of your husband and his job. There needs to be more reasons than that for you personally. I guess the pool is one.