Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

MN often views the USA as a similar sized and controlled country to the UK, often forgetting that it's actually 40 times larger

Do they?

In 18 years on MN, and frequenting similar threads countless times, I'm struggling to see how anyone could assert this POV, tbh.

You'd have to be pretty ignorant of an entire smorgasbord of very obvious information to think that the US is a similar size to the UK. Separately, most people know that the political/administrative/socio-economical make-up differs to the UK.

Generally speaking, and different opinions aside, MN posters aren't quite that thick.

I wonder if there would be as much negativity if the op was asking about Dubai, other middle eastern countries, countries in Africa. Is it just the USA that is to be avoided?

I'd go for it, why not give it a try, we would if we had the opportunity. MN often views the USA as a similar sized and controlled country to the UK, often forgetting that it's actually 40 times larger and so it's stupid that there's a single president 'in charge', he isn't, every state has its own Congressional institution that basically runs things and if they disagree with the president then they can keep their own laws (very basic overview) I'd definitely choose my state carefully.

1100sq ftage of house here is considered large, a 'small' house in the US is around 1500sq ft.

We live in NE England, and my 2 primary aged kids are doing lockdown drills at school including having to hide under tables and in cupboards, this has been going on for at least 3-4 years now, and I know the local senior carries them out as well.

Connecticut has the strictest gun laws in the US too.

Over 12,000 people have been arrested so far this year in the UK for social media posts, so the talk of no free speech in the US isn't exactly any different to here atm - if anything you won't get arrested in the US for posting something on X whereas you can be here.

Let’s leave aside the ethics and look at this purely in terms of (economic and other kinds of) benefits for you personally:

College? That would be incredibly expensive
Lack social security if anything goes wrong

legal protection in case of death or divorce: would you need a post-nup?

Did you consider custody? Would you accept being potentially trapped in the US (seeing as you probably couldn’t leave with your children unless your DH agrees)?

Social connections: do you have family and or friends in the UK? How would you feel losing these connections? For your DC to not be close to aunts, grandparents or cousins (if that would be the case in the UK)?

Social healthcare is communism but they don’t seem to mind state education. (Before anyone says anything there was a youtube videos of Americans aghast at the idea of social healthcare for everyone, admittedly they were quite old, white and obviously not poor but it was a strange reach to think that way).

Personally if I had to live in America then East Coast/New England would be my preference. I do really like that Connecticut type home interiors, the dark wood and light furnishings. I also very much liked Newport in Rhode Island and parts of Cape Cod were gorgeous.

I have this thing though where I’d hate to live in a big country, I like small countries. It’s probably a bit unusual to have that as a requirement to move though.

See that’s what we can’t comprehend. Just why?
Healthcare should be freely available specially to those who can’t afford it. and going private should be a choice .
I know the NHS gets lots of hate and no doubt it is really struggling but honestly it’s an excellent system that does not discriminate.

Hahahaha. Yeah I’m very aware of the size of the country and distance and different in states being from NA. Ive seen gated communities in New York State, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Maryland etc. They do exist - a simple google will tell you that. I have been to people houses in the eastern seaboard in gated communities.

The ACA itself is not toast - the subsidies are, for now.

At one of our open enrollment meetings the other day someone asked if the loss of subsidies for people who get their insurance via the ACA marketplaces would push up everyone else’s premiums and the answer from the benefits specialist was ‘not a great deal’ FWIW.

Have you included a buffer for inflation? Trump's trade war is causing costs to spike (when even Marjorie Taylor Green is complaining about it, it must be bad). The ACA is toast now too so health insurance premiums are about to go through the roof.

I wouldn't consider moving anywhere where I couldn't walk to the shops or get public transport somewhere. That does limit options in the US, places like Boston and Chicago aren't exactly cheap to live in. McMansions in suburbia may look attractive to you but it can be very isolating.

Not really. The USA is a huge and very diverse place. Moving states can be like moving European countries to an extent.

Your kids can stay on your insurance until they turn 26.

If they are at college, the college will also have a health insurance plan they can buy if they prefer.

I would be tempted to try it given your circumstances. Presumably your DH would have no problem getting another pilot job back in the UK if you move and hate living in the States? My DH wants to get out of England and he likes the idea of moving to America. Our situation is very different though, neither of us have sought after professions, so it sounds like we'd be paying out a lot of money to move out there and neither of us have even visited the US!

Do Americans really think nothing wrong in not having free healthcare ? while the rest of us can’t comprehend why certain groups in the US are in constant danger of losing their insurance , The majority of Americans seem to think it’s fine and it’s actually the fault of those individuals for not working harder not finding a job or not being paid enough.
it’s a broken system.

I am someone who got homesick after 10 days in Florida! I think at the moment there seems to be a talk down of our country if that makes sense .Maybe because of a right wing press I don t know. Everyone is different although I think being away from familiar faces/ ways /customs is often downplayed .Can you have a long 6 weeks say or so .get to have a look close up as it were .

We visited Connecticut last summer. People were lovely and very friendly. we visited Madison which has a lovely beach and visited some of the local areas around there. We had a tyre losing pressure in our hire car, stopped at a local garage who helped us without expecting payment (we did tip). And then we went on to Mystic which was very really lovely. Small community feel to some of the towns.

Very Gilmore girls feel to some of the towns. I didn’t like New Haven where Yale is based, they had a high proportion of homeless with some suffering mental health issues.

I would go for it, if I were you. It’s largely a democratic state and I am a person of colour so if I felt welcome then you should fit in fine. I like America it is a beautiful country and largely it’s the state and district politics that will impact you most. And if the democrats win back the house in the mid-terms that will help too.

Whereas under the NHS people simply don’t get the treatment, can’t access doctors, we have some of the worst “dread disease” outcomes in Europe and our maternity care is shocking (especially if you are not white).

Interestingly of all the pros and cons listed by family, friends and colleagues taking up long term residence in the US, healthcare never gets a mention, including from a colleague who developed MS a few years after moving and who has a lifetime income from his insurance which many people here would envy.
Its worth noting that some people make an explicit choice not to have insurance or to choose “community” schemes instead, and those bankruptcies by their nature feature people without full insurance as its not compulsory. The rules vary from state to state. The laws in Connecticut, Missouri and Oregon have no more in common than the rules in UK, Poland and Italy. Connecticut is a big blue state with matching policies on health, employment and education (and FaW).

Hopefully, looking at the clock there will be more US living MNers to talk about the realities of US life rather than the scare stories.

I’m afraid you are taking things for granted if you don’t think things are very much better here. Granted this country is in a total doom loop, but things could be SO much worse if Trump’s mini-me Farage gets in.

Are you missing the women dying for want of a termination? ICE? The separating of children from their families on the border? The rising numbers of gun/knife violence including in schools and universities? The men shot because their colour implies a lower tolerance? The raging drug related hell that is spreading across the entire country? The president sex pest?

How is that reflected here? If you were raped tomorrow and conceived where would you want to be?

All those saying it's fine if you're white (or white passing as per OP), speaks volumes to the society we're living in now. I'm so glad you're all able to ignore what is happening to minorities, as long as you and yours are okay. Carry on as normal. Enjoy your little bubble.

The UK is not much better at the moment. And you can always come back if needs be. Seems a no brainer

This. I'm genuinely amazed the compromises people will consider for money. It's not just that you probably wouldn't be targeted by ICE, it's the fact you would willingly move somewhere that has ICE.

If it was just you and your husband I would say yes. Taking three young kids out there with the gun and drug problems they have. Hell no. Not enough money and big houses in the world. Not to stay you should stay in the UK though. Where else could you move to?

All violent crime is higher in the USA including KNIFE crime, but because their gun deaths are so high- 40k + a year - their knife crime rarely gets a mention.

Knife crime has declined in the UK in 2025, according to the stats. And despite the popular misconception, there is more knife crime in the US than the UK, per capita. So you’re more likely to be shot and also more likely to be stabbed in the US than the UK. (Although Connecticut may well have better stats than other parts of the States, just as some parts of the UK have better stats than other parts of the UK).

Personally I wouldn't because no money is worth sending DC to school and not knowing they are safe. I would also be concerned about safety in the air around America at the moment given the issues with air traffic control. If you are happy with those risks and think the extra money is worth it, then go for it.