Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

I’ve worked in insurance in the US and been buying health insurance via various methods for 18 years, so I’m used to there being inflation. But in talking to a very knowledgeable person about that specific question I did find the response reassuring.

But - yes, I’ll give you confidence. They have confidence in spades. They think they live in the BEST country in the world and a great at everything. Despite all evidence to the contrary.
Don’t even get me started on their manners.

Mmm, except my US nieces and nephews don’t speak any languages other than English ( some spotty Spanish at best), are
ignorant of most world history - they thought WW2 started in 1941, their geography is even worse ( if that’s possible), have been doing shooter drills all their lives, and a few of them don’t believe in evolution AT ALL. They think the earth is 6000 years old.

Been in detention since September and they’re planning on deporting her. Lived in thenUSA since she was a kid so Ireland will be a bit of a shock for her…

Did he get locked up for six weeks before the charges were dropped?

Larry Bushart did.

I think that's actually an unfair comment. The US approach is much more about confidence building and it can be a really positive experience for a kid. The only thing about US high schools is that they do get very competitive when it comes to securing scholarships. It's a misconception that US high schoolers have it easier academically speaking. There is the option in most schools to go for Advanced Placement classes and those are high level.

@SLeighHart, yes there are plenty of negative things to say about the UK- and people frequently do! I’ve seen a few threads on MN where an OP is wondering whether to move to the UK from the US, or to move back to the UK from somewhere they previously emigrated to. There are always plenty of replies saying ‘Don’t do it!’ and outlining what posters see as the negatives about living here.

On these sorts of threads, I assume the OP wants to hear the good, the bad and the ugly about the place they’re thinking of moving to, otherwise why even ask the question?

I would go for it OP. What an adventure for you and your kids! If your health insurance is covered through your husbands work, then it seems pretty safe. If it all goes to crap you can always move back too.

People here are bringing up anythingt they can to put you off, but you could gather endless horror stories about the UK too. I say just go for it. Sounds like you'd end up in a very comfortable living situation.

Yes and no. The employers don’t have to offer some benefits to part-time workers, but FMLA has multiple eligibility requirements, one being 1,250 hours worked in the past twelve months (or roughly 24 hours per week) and also that the company has over 50 employees.

But I’ve worked part-time and had insurance coverage and vacation benefits. The point is some things aren’t straight forward. The company you work for vs. the state you work in vs. your job status/level means it’s very hard to make blanket statements about wages and benefits for all workers in the US.

"Not a great deal" is rather vague. I wouldn't find it entirely reassuring. Non ACA insurance is still subject to inflation anyway.

This one?
www.irishtimes.com/ireland/2025/10/28/irish-grandmother-detained-in-us-over-25-cheque-to-have-deportation-hearing-wednesday/

I’d do it, life is for adventure. You can always move back if you like in the future, as can your children.

The NHS does discriminate!!! Doctors and their families get better treatment. Politicians and the famous get far better treatment. Middle class articulate, not too ill to ask for help and to complain people get better treatment. Try being old ill or too sick with no relatives to advocate for you.

The truth is that is we don’t have an NHS any longer. We have a three tier system. The very wealthy seek treatment abroad. Those with some money go private for cataract, hip, knee surgery, gynae and other things, or if they want a GP appointment or to see a consultant without waiting months. The lower income have no choice but to use the NHS.

The sooner we move to a European health insurance system, the better.

I see that, but I do think that those seismic issues are bleeding into the fabric of life for many previously insulated people.

My DSis - as I posted upthread - is in a gated community in a privileged, Democratic-leaning area. All has been wonderful for 10 years or so, but she's started to talk about the possibility of gun ownership, and a possible move back to the UK. A friend in this liberal, professional bubble has experienced overtly racist comments on several occasions during the last year or so, for the first time in their adult lives.

There are incalculable differences between her life, and a young, single, pregnant Black woman in Texas, but even those in a bubble are aware that the sands are shifting.

Trump deploying the National Guard as a political move was chilling. The political discourse and direction of travel in the US are so profoundly important, I don't see how people can really think that it doesn't affect them, directly or indirectly.

Ah yes, I've heard of the "part-time worker" scam some employers have. They refuse to give their employees extra hours because they'd have rights (FMLA etc.) if they were considered "full-time". There's no obligation to pro rata these benefits.

that's exactly my point, you can travel to a different state and experience what can feel like an absolute different country and yet 90% of comments on here are about US gun laws and US abortion laws, not the states own sanctioned ones.

also - @DdraigGoch a very famous example in the UK, Graham Linehan was arrested by 5 officers at Heathrow airport (any need for 5 of them really?!) for posts on X quite recently for saying he agrees that women should challenge a man in womens' loos and if he retaliates with anger or violence maybe they should punch him in the balls.

Do you really know what "the majority of Americans think"? I don't either, but I do know that every single one of my friends here believes that the US system is appalling.

For me the big difference between here and the US (and I have spent time living/working there and visited many times) it that it is a country with extremes, life is more gentle (on the whole) here

take the wealth and poverty, the homelessness is many of the larger cities is beyond shocking, the areas of poverty are larger than we get here and are really depressing, the politics particularly at present, the drastic differences in nicer areas and poor areas, even how the news is reported

I always feel so British when I am there 😁 but there are certainly positives.

Health care is certainly an area you really need to fully look into, my brother and sister are paying out huge sums of money to cover themselves and their children (on top of the cover they receive from work) and its getting harder, the healthcare system provides choice but you are always having to pay

and the cost of living, as with here, has gone up considerably but wages are higher and tax lower

And yet despite the OP making it clear from the get go that they would be moving to democratic, liberal Connecticut and on a professional salary we see poster after poster insisting they they will need to live behind barred doors and die in the event of accidental/ectopic pregnancy.

I've read many of the comments on this thread, but wanted to wade in with my personal experience.

We spent 6 years in the US (south west Ohio). The first two, we were new grads; the four years, DH was on a very swanky international contract (nominally 3x his UK salary, when all the bonuses were added in).

I would say that on both stints, we weren't any better off there than here. Some things are more expensive, other things are cheaper. It really is swings and roundabouts. We didn't let money burn a hole in our pockets - our trips were very modest as we had five kids and going away was a military operation. What I do remember is that our trip to Cape Cod was eye-wateringly expensive. Apparently, the labour costs there are high, so the costs get passed on.

One of the weird things about living in the US, is that you pretty much live among people of similar status. That will dictate where you actually live rather than what you can afford on paper. We actually did choose a lower ranked house than DH's colleagues as we felt that was better for our kids. We certainly weren't going to rent a McMansion 30 miles from downtown that we would not have wanted to fully furnish (due to returning to our house in the UK four years later).

I liked a lot of what we had in the US, although a lot of it was being part of an expat community. Saying that, our neighbours were really friendly, and one had the right amount of cynicism and got my jokes. I liked the real weather - snow in the winter, beautiful autumn colours, hot summers (although a bit too humid). Spring was probably the worst because the weather couldn't make up its mind.

The worst part was the very real racism (although we are both celtic white). My son invited his school friend over one Saturday - he was black - his dad said this was the first playdate he had ever had at 10 years old. My son played in a black football team. When I suggested to a neighbour at having the team and their mums over for tea, I was told not to - they would steal from me! I wasn't happy when my neighbours said they had guns - my kids never went to their house again.

Another thing is the distance that you drive for day to day stuff, and the absolute need to drive. I hardly ever use my car here in the UK as everything is on my doorstep, and there are buses and trains.

In my US neighbourhood, very few people had their own pools. They could afford them, but we had a very good private pool club where we would hang out all day every day. The kids had their swimming lessons and then played, and the mums chatted.

What makes me happy is that my eldest (now 33) really cherished his time in the US (3rd - 6th grade) He has good memories and when he has gone back as an adult, he was researched his trips and really made the most of them. He got married this year, and had a quiz at his wedding. One of the sections was about Cincinnati - so I think that's a good sign.

My DH is about to renounce his US citizenship.

A man in Tennessee got locked up for six weeks for posting a meme about Charlie Kirk. Nothing extreme (no threats of violence or anything), just a quote of Trump saying "we have to get over it" [about an Iowa school shooting] with the caption "seems relevant today".

Eventually of course he was released without charges because it was obviously nonsense. Yet he still got remanded for six weeks on a $2m bond. I'm sure he will be suing because this textbook 1st Amendment breach cost him his job.

In the UK, social media posts are only going to get you locked up if you actually incite violence. Bail bonds don't exist either, the court either considers you a flight risk/risk to public safety, or it doesn't.

@Cleikumstovies I take it the Dubai threads have passed you by then?

Gated communities exist in London suburbs and the home counties. That does imply London is a variant downtown JoBurg

I’m an American Literature academic with a keen interest in the culture and the politics. I would like to live there one day but definitely not under Trump.