Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

Just checked - green card expiry does not remove your tax and account reporting obligations to the US. It's fairly complicated and you'll need a specialist to determine your status and obligations upon return to the UK.

Again, if OP goes for a year, no problem, if they stay for longer or pursue green card / citizenship it's something to be aware of. Not a reason not to go, but go in with eyes wide open.

They also make you face the flag when renouncing your citizenship, which is psychotic.

You are still required to file even if you owe nothing, which tends to cost money for specialist accountants every year if your financial situation is in any way not very simple. IRS page says nothing about green card expiry, but I do know people who have gone to the expense of getting rid of it legally to free themselves so I would gather it's worth it.

DH was a US citizen. He and his siblings are in various stages of divorcing the US because of the ridiculous financial constraints if you live outside the US - ie not being able to operate a small business effectively, or if you become a signee on your employers accounts your company then having to report that account to the States. It cost us NZD$10k to get rid. Worth every dollar, but what other country makes you literally buy your way out or extorts you / treats you like a traitor for leaving? It's nuts, and something to be aware of if OP or their children want to pursue life in the US. Again - politely - the US will own your ass.

You can definitely do it for a year and see how it goes. There's nothing quite like living and working in a different country. My main worry would be kids and making sure they went to good, safe schools. Also, getting kids to see family.

I would say it sure feels safer living in the UK... if you're well off you can compensate for some of these things

You've been taking the tablets

Your green card 'expires' after two years of not living in the US. It doesn't sound like this is a green card situation, though, until at least 5 years have past. You are unlikely to owe US taxes in the UK due to tax treaties at this level of income.

There are far more US bank holidays than UK ones, but you don't necessarily get them all. It is up to your employer whether you get Presidents' Day, for example. Obviously, for a pilot, there is an element of shift work, so there will be no expectation of, for example, getting the day after Thanksgiving off.

Two weeks annual leave is the starting benefit, but you can usually buy extra weeks, and your employer may be happy to let you have time off unpaid. In any case, you can qualify for additional weeks quite quickly, In the UK, you tend to just get an extra day added on each year. If you are in negotiations for a prestigious role, you set your vacation requirements before you sign the contract - establish an expectation of 5 or 6 weeks.

Yes, to your last point, I just helped put together the employee handbook for our company which operates in just 3 states in New England. Because the states all offer such different PFML options (which in one state are changing in 2026), we added about 15 pages to the handbook just talking about the various benefits available and how they integrate with our company's PTO, leave of absence, STD and military leave policies. I can't imagine managing this for a company in all 50 states.

We are also currently doing our open enrollment, and the benefits guide is 62 pages long...

Working for a US company and going there on business trips is in no way comparable to living there. Health insurance is heavily subsidised by your employer, and when you retire, Medicare kicks in, which is like an NHS. If you knew America like a resident does, you'd know that. And the actual care is miles better than the NHS. If you're in the country legally then there is no issue with being kicked out. And you can get fired in the UK just as easily as in the US. Finally, each state differs wildly in their various protections. You can't look at what's available federally. My state has maternity benefits that are vastly better than the UK's for example. Again, this is the sort of thing you wouldn't know just by going there on business trips.

I've worked for enough American companies and have spent enough time there. Thanks.

Haven't RTFT, so not sure if it's been mentioned yet - be aware if your DH / you get a green card and then move back to the UK, you will still be required to file (and possibly pay) taxes in the US and possibly reporting of assets until you go through a formal, expensive legal process to get rid of the green card. Just something to keep in mind if this isn't intended to be a permanent move, the US owns your ass til you divorce it.

Also, you need to be prepared to be able to live in the US long term should things go belly up. If you and DH split and no longer agree where the kids should live, you may have to continue living there until your children are grown - even if you don't want to. If custody is in dispute, that can sometimes also mean being prevented from traveling home with the kids even for a holiday, potentially for years. Any agreements you make with your DH about contingencies won't hold up in court if either of you change your mind later. So determine whether you're ok with those worst case scenarios, and have a plan in yourself as to how you'd deal with them. Then make your decision.

None of this means don't do it, but go in with your eyes wide open. And make sure you can work if you need to.

There are way too many school shootings- one would have already been one too many- but really, statistically the chances of being affected by one are very low.

Money doesn’t buy happiness and the grass is not always greener on the other side. Any country that allows guns with no free healthcare is a No for me

It's more hyperbole, OP. If you're in the country legally, it's fine. And I recently entered the States. No one looked at my phone, even though I only hold a green card and am not a citizen.

Also, OP, I get five weeks' holiday from work, plus the many bank holidays. Don't believe everything you read. And with your husband having a good job as a pilot, you could likely have a really great life here. He's quite likely to end up earning a lot more in the States. The only thing to be wary of is the child issue in the event of a break-up, and of your kids eventually never wanting to go back if they stay here long enough.

OP, I moved from the UK to the US 18 years ago. I'm in a very blue state and I do love it here. There are many, many fabulous things about the place.

However, I must sound a note of caution. Because you have kids, you can get trapped in the States, and that is a really big thing to be aware of. If the US becomes the place where the children are deemed to be habitually resident, if you and your husband divorce then you won't even be able to take them out of the state without his permission, let alone the country.

If you were to split up in the first year or two of being in the US, this might not be an issue, since they are UK born with UK parents. However, if you ended up staying for a few years, and your husband ends up loving it, you could potentially get trapped. What then happens is the kids turn 18 and you might not be bound by a custody agreement anymore, but their lives and friends are all in the US, so they don't want to leave, and then they find a spouse, and then the grandchildren are here, too. Point is, if you stay here for a few years, you might end up never really being able to return home. I have seen this dynamic play out in the many people I know who have lived in the US for years.

Marital breakdown abroad and international child-custody battles are serious issues. I moved to the US for my American-born, British-raised husband, who wanted to go back there, and I was blissfully ignorant. Had I known then what I know now, I would not have done it. I just didn't realise what a serious decision it was. As it happens, we ended up not having kids, but I didn't know then that we wouldn't.

Just some food for thought.

P.S. Ignore the febrile media and some of the outlandish posts on here. I live in Massachusetts where we have much better maternity benefits than the UK and people who are caring for a loved one can get up to three months off in a calendar year at 80 percent of their salary, and your employer must hold your job. I don't know what a PP is talking about regarding the food; we have beautiful food here in Boston. Gorgeous fresh seafood, beautiful fruits and veg, and the US is the home of great beef. That PP has also clearly never heard of Wholefoods. Abortion and contraception rights are not under threat here, and the healthcare is outstanding. I also don't recognise what someone is saying about needing to top up their health insurance. Most employers offer great plans for less than BUPA costs. Where you live in the States really matters. If you come to a sensible state - i.e. a blue one - you'll be fine. And believe it or not, the vast majority of the population does not get shot at school, or anywhere else.

The same priced house does not mean you can afford it. Many things are way more expensive in the states.

And also, you don't have to have made the comments after arriving in the country. Make sure that your text messages, social media profiles etc are completely clean of political content. US customs has the right to check your phone when you arrive.

The main thing you have to realize is that now, unlike during the 1st Trump Administration (or any other), you can and will be removed from the country for no other stated reason than that you have criticized the current government. It's happened repeatedly, and no residency status short of actual citizenship has protected people. And generally it's been done one of two ways; either you're immediately removed with no chance to pack, make arrangements etc. Or conversely, they hold you in an immigrant detention center for many days.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it; there are lots of countries where that is the case. But it's something to consider.

In an ideal scenario that would be the case. For most people life it’s about hard graft, putting as much as they can into an occupational pension and preparing for the future. The way things are going in the U.K. there are no guarantees the NHS will be there for anything other than AE and life threatening illnesses.
I am a realist and risk aware and adverse.
How long would it take to sell the large wooden constructed house? What would happen if there was a marriage breakdown? Would the OP be able to take her children back to the U.K. and restart her life there?
Please OP…before you take the jump, do your homework and fully understand what you’re doing and your exit plan if it doesn’t work out.

If you and your DH decide to go for it, I sincerely wish you well and hope everything works out for you. ❤️

Looks right up it's own arse.

Give me a charming 2 bed cottage on the English countryside over that any day.

Don’t forget to put your eggs in the fridge 😁

What about if you have private healthcare in the uk? Like for like. You can’t compare private health to national health.

I met an American couple in Amsterdam a few days ago. They fear for their own rights when going back to the US and they are 3rd generation African American democrats.

Oh and the guns.

Are you stark raving bonkers is the first cab out of my rank.

Being a pilot with, currently unpaid air traffic controllers is likely an uninsurable event.

I won't even go into the whole political state of affairs. The army, ICE, having to give your social media up for screening on a visa application.

Hell would literally have to freeze over for me to contemplate a layover.