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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

440 replies

Frinkleg · 12/11/2025 20:57

It’s always been an option as dh is a pilot. He’s spoken to an airline out there and would be able to secure a job with 3x the salary. We would actually be able to feel a little bit more than just comfortable.

I actually really do love the UK. I enjoy village life, British holidays, Brits are just funnier etc.

But the money is just too much of a head turner.

We could afford a gorgeous home in Connecticut with a pool.

We spend a lot of time in the states but only as holidaymakers. It would certainly be an adjustment.

of course I fear guns, American politics re female rights, I’m by no means pro Trump. The ICE raids are horrific. But we’d have some bloody money. And a nice house.

I can’t imagine the US ever feeling like home that’s the only thing.

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Frinkleg · 12/11/2025 21:13

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 12/11/2025 21:13

Looks a bit bleak to be honest. And America is in a state.

People are saying similar about the UK

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TheBeaTgoeson1 · 12/11/2025 21:13

Looks a bit bleak to be honest. And America is in a state.

Frinkleg · 12/11/2025 21:12

DH is half Indian but most assume he is white as he has blue eyes and light skin

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APatternGrammar · 12/11/2025 21:12

Frinkleg · 12/11/2025 21:08

Not as if our politics is doing so well right now either tbf

If you think the two situations are remotely comparable I’m afraid you don’t understand the situation in the US well enough. Your risk though.

CraftyNavySeal · 12/11/2025 21:10

APatternGrammar · 12/11/2025 21:01

Aren’t they at 15/16 for the signifiers of a dictatorship at present? It seems risky to be a foreigner in that climate.

As a (presumably) middle class white family in Connecticut they will be fine.

Connecticut is democrat and has very restrictive gun laws so a lot of the worries are irrelevant. It’s like refusing to move to Sweden because abortions are banned in Poland.

PracticalPixie · 12/11/2025 21:10

I am waiting to renounce my US citizenship. If I could give mine to you I would 😂

Yanbu, life is for the living etc. I most likely will never live there again, but it isn't because I hate it or anything. Obviously make sure your health insurance is top notch etc

Frinkleg · 12/11/2025 21:09

I do imagine we would end up living in a bubble. Gated community etc. That does seem extremely dystopian and not something I would have contemplated a few years ago.

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Liissey0710 · 12/11/2025 21:09

Frinkleg · 12/11/2025 21:06

We could afford this house (same price as current hosue). We currently live in a new build semi.

Edited

Is health insurance paid for the family, do you have kids who need school and college. Do you plan to go back and forth is the salary enough when you minus the nhs and free education

Bigearringsbigsmile · 12/11/2025 21:09

I can't imagine anything worse tbh
The politics, the guns, the education system, women's rights, the healthcare system, tipping everywhere, driving everywhere.
Nope.

Frinkleg · 12/11/2025 21:08

APatternGrammar · 12/11/2025 21:01

Aren’t they at 15/16 for the signifiers of a dictatorship at present? It seems risky to be a foreigner in that climate.

Not as if our politics is doing so well right now either tbf

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Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 12/11/2025 21:08

I wouldn’t personally.

but you are not me and if you want to why care what others would do?

Frinkleg · 12/11/2025 21:06

We could afford this house (same price as current hosue). We currently live in a new build semi.

Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?
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Caledoniablue · 12/11/2025 21:05

YABU hope that helps.

I have family living there so I'm not just a US hater. They earn more than I could ever contemplate, have a huge house and send their DC to only the best montessori schools... however the politics are horrific, the laws are barbaric and cause the death of women, their kids are taught shooter drills regularly at 5yo, ICE raids happening to their lovely law abiding tax paying Mexican neighbours. No thank you.

Dreamerinme · 12/11/2025 21:04

You’ll get a lot of knee jerk posts saying absolutely not, however everyone’s opinions and outlook on life is different so I’d say do thorough research before committing to the move.

Will you be able to work too? I wouldn’t go if I could not work too.

Would you put a timeframe on coming back? I don’t think a place has to feel exactly like ‘home’ in order for you to enjoy the lifestyle and opportunities of a different country (I am from outside the UK so know what it’s like to move countries).

Do you have DC? This makes a difference as what would happen if you split and he refused to let you take them back to the UK?

You will need rock solid medical insurance.

APatternGrammar · 12/11/2025 21:01

Aren’t they at 15/16 for the signifiers of a dictatorship at present? It seems risky to be a foreigner in that climate.

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