Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

I dreamed of living in the US as a teenager and twentysomething. In my twenties I was lucky enough to live, work and study all over the world - Asia, Africa, Western and Eastern Europe. I finally ended up in the US in my later twenties and - to my absolute surprise - I felt less at home there than anywhere else I’d lived.

I’d go back for a holiday, but would never choose to live there again.

I’m surprised so many say ‘give it a go, you can always come back if you don’t like it’. This is true of course, but moving house (let alone moving continent) is expensive and stressful. Plus there are three children to think about. I’d personally find it very difficult to uproot my children for a second time once they had made friends and settled into school etc. It’s a consideration that needs to be taken much more seriously IMO.

Why not give it a go?
If you dont go then you will have a lifetime of what ifs.
We did a year in another country, decided it wasnt for us long term, but it was absolutely the best year, so fun exploring a new life. Juwt have a back up plan.
For us, we kept our house in the UK empty for a year and rented a smaller place than we would have if we had rented or sold it. This meant that we could decide to come back and had our house

You so know that each of the states sets its own rules (which was the result of overturning Roe v Wade) and that many of the coastal states have completely different rules from the “southern Baptist states” where the hard line rules apply?

You might as well say “don’t go to Europe, they let women with ectopics die in Malta"

Sounds amazing. I’d love the opportunity to do this, experience something new in life. I say go for it.

This does not happen in CT or in any of the New England states. If you can find me a news story of this happening in CT I will of course change my mind. Their abortion rights are the same in the UK. In fact I would say that medically you would be better off in CT as you would have very good health insurance- pilots are known to have very good policies.

CT did have a very horrific and infamous school shooting - Sandy Hook.

The US is not one village its 50+ separate countries in a federation. My family, friends and colleagues in different states live different and similar lives in the way my family, friends and colleagues do in different European countries. Connecticut culturally is very north European.

What we see on the news is all the horror stories, mainly from key cities and border areas, meanwhile a third of a billion people live their lives pretty much as most of the developed world does. People are just people.

However make sure you know the full costs of living. Property prices may look lower but check property taxes, check the work situation for you (will a spousal visa allow etc) and the health cover afforded by the company. Check the practicalities fully then make a decision for a fixed time say five years. At the end of that you won’t need MN to tell you if its a good idea or not.

There have been several threads over the last few days about people contemplating moving abroad, and the majority of responses seem to want to put people off going. Whatever happened to the spirit of adventure? I would have loved to have the chance to live in another country when I was younger - sadly it didn't happen - I think people should grasp opportunities like this with open arms. I'd love to live in the USA and no, I don't care about any of the so-called 'disadvantages' which PP have quoted.

It's not really 'knee jerk' when they intentionally will let you die from an ectopic pregnancy, or you could end up like that poor woman who had a car crash at a few weeks pregnant and the GOVERNMENT interceded (her family was opposed) and kept her artificially alive to full term so the child could be born.... severely disabled.

It's wild that any woman would contemplate moving there in the current climate, but if money is the solution then all the best to her and hope she never experiences any fertility or pregnancy issues.

I would go: as others have said it’s not forever. You could 100-% go for a few years ans then pack up ans come back with some savings.

Houses can be bought and sold, schools changed and new jobs found.

Id defo rent initially and not buy. More flexible if you can’t get on with it

I would absolutely go. Trump will have a very limited, if any, impact on your day to day life.

I wouldn’t.

I think the food is better in the UK- less additives and mostly cheaper.

I like living in a walkable neighbourhood. Being able to walk to shops, the leisure centre and walking my kids to school when they were younger- that’s normal to me and I’d hate to have to drive everywhere.

A massive house isn’t a draw for me. I’ve lived in a big house and the upkeep, maintenance and cleaning takes more time and money than you might think.

Not being able to access Europe quickly and cheaply 😕 I love France and Germany for family holidays and I love European city breaks so wouldn’t want to give those up.

Plus Trump, healthcare and guns…. It’s a no from me.

No amount of money could convince me to move to the States at the moment.

I would give it a go for sure

You can always come back! The kids would have an unforgettable adventure

I’d do it. I have family in the US, everyday life is not affected by all the political madness (except the shutdown), people just get on with things, work, have friends, hobbies, go on holiday ect ect. It’s great to live abroad for at least a few years, gives a much broader perspective on life. There are some truly fabulous places to visit in the US which are really easy to get to if you live there. And if you don’t like it you can always come back.

Big questions I’d have. Healthcare (already covered). What would your visa position be, can you work? Do you have or want children, if so what will you do for schooling? It can be really really tough to make friends if you have neither a job nor school to work from. Do you both drive? Religion is really important in many gated communities, if you don’t go to church make sure you choose your community carefully.

Wow! Get gone! I’d move in a heartbeat.

Just googled the salary and it seems a lot better than what you’d get here for the same role. It makes you understand why people are leaving the UK for better paid jobs elsewhere as well, we’ll end up with a skills shortage if wages don’t go up to match other countries.

Well you can always come back so try it.

Living somewhere else for a while or even emigrating is a big adventure, I think it is worthwhile, whether or not you speak the language (most languages can be learned😅) However as you have kids and are married you need to consider:

• Health insurance!
• General cost of living (tipping, sales tax not necessarily included, federal and state tax, property tax, ... )
• Schooling, costs, quality (I heard state schools can be quite good in well off neighbourhoods)?
• Your visa status as a spouse, do you want to work, are you allowed to work? Will you be "trapped" in the US dependant on DH?
• Political situation/society in CT and nationwide, depends on your point of view. Don't kid yourself, that just because they also speak English, they have the same attitude/outlook/laws (humour aside).
• Distance: do you have family back in the UK, that you might want to visit regularly? Are you a single child with elderly parents and feel somewhat responsible? You will need both time and money to do this.
• How would you be able to deal with emergencies/sudden job loss?
• What's the long term perspective, what's the backup plan? Are you planning to emigrate for ever, or go for a few years? How would you come back? Is it a secondment from a UK company or job change to US company? If you both, or one of you just cannot make it work? At some point you will not be able to come back anymore, as DH will too old/too expensive/too wrongly qualified to be able to find another job back in the UK, and you will have to stick it out until retirement.

I have just come back from the states. Not been there for ages. My partner is black and despite working for an American firm with 95% American colleagues (so not just relying on our media), I think he felt a little dubious. We both loved it and had an amazing trip through Calofornia. America is obviously huge with differing politics and attitudes, just like the UK. I'd definitely go for it. You only live once. What is worse that can happen? You don't like it and you come back. America works of you have money and you will do. So I think it would be good.

I wouldn’t want to send my kids to school in the US.

CT has snowy winters, are you up for snow clearance and grey misery sludge for spring? I second getting all your property tax and medical insurance quotes in before deciding. Property tax is a percentage of the house sale, not a band like council tax. It can 10s of thousands, especially if you need good schools as they are funded by property tax. If you have kids, consider university as your DC may want to stay in the US, which will then be a whole job of sports, extracurricular activities and a very different education system.

If you are no kids, go and live somewhere fun. Think hard and don't get your head turned by a big house if you do.