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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s okay to prioritise travel over settling down?

66 replies

RootlessButReady · 12/11/2025 17:18

I’m in my 30s and honestly, I just want to see the world. I’m not in a rush to buy property, have kids or “settle down” in the traditional sense, and I feel like people find that threatening or flaky.

Whenever I say I’d rather spend my money on travel than save for a mortgage right now, I get the same looks or the same comments: “You can’t live like that forever.” “Don’t you want stability?” “But what about your future?”

I get it, security matters. But the world is huge and beautiful and fleeting. Why are we expected to postpone exploration until we’re retired or burnt out? What if seeing more of life is part of building a meaningful future?

AIBU to think that choosing travel, freedom and adventure now isn’t automatically immature or irresponsible, it’s just a different priority?

OP posts:
CoralPombear · 12/11/2025 18:32

We did it the other way around. Kids, house and career while young and now we’re in our late thirties and have the freedom and funds to travel. There’s no right or wrong choice, so long as you are sensible with your health and future absolutely do what makes you happy! Enjoy!

katscamel · 12/11/2025 18:29

I started teaching EFL after finishing uni in my 20s and still doing in 30 years later. I haven't got a house or all the usual adult things but I make enough (generally) to live...and save and have had some amazing experiences. Could this be an option?

SassyPearlEagle · 12/11/2025 18:20

A lot of people are boring, unimaginative and just follow the typical 'life script'. There are no actual rules. You do you.

JamMakingWannaBe · 12/11/2025 17:52

Do it. Go travelling.
I went backpacking after Uni but one of my life regrets is that I didn't travel more before settling down.
I'm coming out the other side now and with my kids being a bit older I've booked a trip to Matchu Picchu for my 50th. I now want an ensuite private bedroom and not a bunk in a dorm though!

Babybear260 · 12/11/2025 17:49

RootlessButReady · 12/11/2025 17:18

I’m in my 30s and honestly, I just want to see the world. I’m not in a rush to buy property, have kids or “settle down” in the traditional sense, and I feel like people find that threatening or flaky.

Whenever I say I’d rather spend my money on travel than save for a mortgage right now, I get the same looks or the same comments: “You can’t live like that forever.” “Don’t you want stability?” “But what about your future?”

I get it, security matters. But the world is huge and beautiful and fleeting. Why are we expected to postpone exploration until we’re retired or burnt out? What if seeing more of life is part of building a meaningful future?

AIBU to think that choosing travel, freedom and adventure now isn’t automatically immature or irresponsible, it’s just a different priority?

No nothing wrong with that at all!!! I agree - why should we wait until we retire?? I always thought the same thing but equally I also had a strong desire for children / family life and had a fear of infertility…. But you CAN still travel with a family so if you do decide you want children don’t let that put you off

Jk987 · 12/11/2025 17:46

Do it if that’s what you love! Have you got your own place you can rent out? Ideal if so as you’d have somewhere to come home to. You don’t want to arrive home totally skint either so lock some money away. Enjoy!

Meadowfinch · 12/11/2025 17:31

RootlessButReady · 12/11/2025 17:26

In theory, sure! But in practice, travel and saving for a deposit don’t usually play nice together, especially with UK housing prices. I’d rather be intentional about one at a time.

Show quote history

You could get an international job. It makes saving and travel a lot easier.

WhatNoRaisins · 12/11/2025 17:30

I think it's important to be realistic if you hope to "have it all" as there is a time limit on fertility. I don't see anything wrong with choosing travel over settling down and having a family, that's just a different preference.

everytimeifall · 12/11/2025 17:29

I feel the same. Got absolutely flamed for voicing it a few years ago.

Bagsintheboot · 12/11/2025 17:27

Of course it's ok, as long as you understand that you may be sacrificing security and limiting options later. If you want children, for example, then that has a time limit. It becomes much harder to meet someone and settle down, if that's what you want, the older you get. But plane tickets and cruises are likely to be around a lot longer.

As another poster has said, think about what you want in ten years, when you want to retire and what that retirement should look like and then go from there.

Original poster
RootlessButReady · 12/11/2025 17:26

Ohthatsabitshit · 12/11/2025 17:20

Do both?

In theory, sure! But in practice, travel and saving for a deposit don’t usually play nice together, especially with UK housing prices. I’d rather be intentional about one at a time.

OP posts:
Mrstawnyowl · 12/11/2025 17:25

Nothing wrong with that. Do it whilst you’re young and healthy.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 12/11/2025 17:25

But people will probably think you're insinuating that their choices are boring because many can't conceive of choices different from their own 😉 what about home ownership and pensions etc.

I agree OP, you do you.

CeciliaMars · 12/11/2025 17:25

It is a different priority. I get it. I did loads of travelling in my late 20s and early 30s and love nothing more than seeing the world. But if you do at some point want to have kids and/or own a house, you need to make plans for that to happen. I knew I wanted kids eventually so I stopped travelling to prioritise a relationship. I now have three kids and we all see the world together! If you don't want either of kids or home ownership in your future, crack on with your travelling for as long as you like!

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 17:22

It is your life, you can live it in any way that pleases you.

There are consequences though. It would probably be good to have a think about what you would like your old age to look like and make sure you aren’t unknowingly making decisions now that might limit you later.

Ohthatsabitshit · 12/11/2025 17:20

Do both?