To think it’s okay to prioritise travel over settling down?

To be honest I feel 30+ is an old enough age where you surely have already found people who have similar interests to you and don’t judge you for your lifestyle. If you still have people in your life that you feel are judgemental, you’re probably not investing energy in the right people and you might need a better filter.

Personally I’m in my 20s and naturally gravitate towards people who are like me eg career driven. I don’t have a lot of friends who prioritised having kids asap or settling down asap. Therefore I don’t get any judgement about wanting to pursue my career or travelling before kids, as I sought out people who have similar life views to my own.

But not everyone wants kids. If u had to live my life again I wouldn't have them. Yeah I travel now in .y 50s but I'm not as fit and healthy as I was 20 years ago. I can no longer do long hikes and climbs for example

It’s absolutely fine if that’s what you want to do and you’re not going to regret not having a family when you’re older. Not everyone wants that.
We do both, though not extensively. Just enough to scratch that itch and our kids enjoy it too.

But also there is not necessarily a time limit on travelling whereas there sort of is on having kids. The chance of being fit and well enough to travel in your 50s and 60s is quite high, the chance of having kids then is, negligible.

Do you ideally want both?

On different forums I frequent I see so many people complaining they can't get jobs.
They can't afford a house etc.
Cost of living crisis.

If you think you'll prob live abroad with a lower cost of living then that's fine.

Just don't be shocked if you come back ready to be an adult and find people don't find you suitable to employ. And you're 10-15 years behind in terms of financial stability.

If these things don't matter to you then I can't see any drawbacks to your chosen life

Nothing wrong at all in wanting to travel. However, do think about what you want long-term. Do you want to settle somewhere? Do you want to have your own property as opposed to renting? Do you want children? Don't make decisions now, that could potentially limit your choices in the future and into your old-age. You can have a mortgage and travel. Regardless if you travel and/or have a mortgage, both have to be funded, so you need employment!

YANBU op.
Everyone has different priorities and goals.
It does not make you irresponsible as you are making choice based on your circumstances.
Enjoy your life doing what you want to do, if anyone criticises you that’s on them.
Some people at 70 may look back and wish they’d travelled when they were younger, whereas others will look back and be glad they settled down at the age you are now. It is all individual and as long as you can look back and be happy with your decisions that is all that matters

The principle is completely fine. I'd just say make sure you're as intentional about this as you think you are. Accept both the pros and cons of your choice. It's not just about whether you prefer the idea of travel now to a home now. It's also about whether you can live with the later regret of not having bought a property better than the future regret of not having travelled.

Isn't that exactly the same as thing as tying yourself down with kids though? In fact you can always stop travelling but not get rid of the kids

YANBU

Just don't complain ehen you're in your 40's- 50's without any safety net. Or if you are hit by bad health and have no cash for your healthcare etc.

Or if you're in you 40's and finally ready to settle down but can't have kids if you decide you want kids.

I just see people make bad decisions then look shocked when they are git with the consequences of the bad decisions.

As long as you don't mind the consequences of your decisions I really don't care what you do. And even if you do, it doesn't affect me in the slightest so go ahead and do what you want.

It's just the people that care about you may worry about you.

I doubt anyone does actually feel "threatened" by your choices. Why would they? It is more likely they are concerned about whether you have thought through any long term impact on your life.

But you sound pretty clear on knowing what you are postponing by prioritising these choices so go ahead.

I agree with the following from @RaininSummer

Do what you like and can afford but remember not to be resentful or jealous of people who make different choices and may have a more comfortable life when older.

Sometimes people come on here complaining about how they will have to work until they are 70 or never be able to afford to retire as they have no pension savings. In many cases this is unavoidable as they have had a low paid job or caring responsibilities or some other circumstances in life that have prevented saving. But if you actively choose not to not with that or postpone it as a problem for the future then you can't really complain.

Incidentally, waiting until you retire to travel does not necessarily mean you are burnt out! While working and raising a family we did manage lots of UK and European holidays. Now we are in our early 60s and retired we have the time, money and (thankfully) still the health and strength to do some bigger trips.

Although if all you mean by travelling is holidays, rather than travelling for multiple months or years, coming back to earn a bit of money then travelling for another long period (which is what I assumed from the word travelling rather than holidaying) then most of my post doesn't apply as much!

It's perfectly okay as long as you can support yourself, not only now and while travelling but when you get back.

Really you're in a very similar boat to someone only working intermittently because of caring responsibilities, in that you might struggle financially when you're older if you haven't got qualifications/ experience which will allow you to pick up enough well paid full work to put money into a pension and to work when not travelling and when you're older... Lots of people (especially women) are in that vulnerable financial situation due motherhood or caring for other relatives so it's not unique to travel, just a consideration.

If you do want children at some point, just not yet, you should just be aware that while some women do have healthy pregnancies in their early 40s, others start perimenopause in their mid to late 30s - you can actually get tests to check your likely fertility status and give you an idea whether waiting has good odds for you, but you'd have to pay privately and nothing is guaranteed, it's just about likelihood obviously. If you're male of course you don't have that problem and can start a family as late as you want, although there are genetic risks associated with paternal, not only maternal, age.

Enjoy, but just give your long term a little thought and planning too and don't end up unemployed and sofa surfing in your 40s...

I totally agree with you yet you’re amongst the very people of society who think everyone should want to get married , have kids , have a mortgage on a big house and earn 6 figures by the time they are 35. This doesn’t work for everyone .

Not everyone CHOOSES to be tied down with responsibility. If you get to 60 and you don’t own a house ? And what ? You haven’t got the stress of going to a mundane 9-5 job to earn your millions , and what?

There is sooooo much more to life than money . You see people absolutely work their arses off , stressed to the max , paying off ridiculous mortgages , they get to their annual holiday abroad and they are too burnt out to enjoy it , then they get to retirement , thinking they are going to enjoy their massive pensions they have accumulated whilst working their arses off only to find they have burnt themselves out so much they are now ill and there big pensions get left to their kids who blow it .

Go and enjoy your life OP , whilst you’re fit and young enough to ✈️

It's defintely possible to do both - DH and I met in our early twenties and spent 8 years travelling/backpacking and adventuring whilst slowly saving for a deposit. We're now early 30's, married with a house and baby, and still taking plenty of trips - we're currently on a two week holiday to Malaysia.

However, we had time on our side having met young, you will need to accept that by prioritising travel over settling down in your thirties, you may be missing out on having children.

Two words: compounding interest

We had our dd start a retirement fund when she turned 15. Just a little saving every year early on makes a huge difference in the very long term. It’s hard to catch up later in life.

You can decide your priorities, just don’t forget that at some point you do need a plan for when you aren’t young and healthy.

I travelled a lot until my mid 20's
Then I got serious about life relationship/kids but still travelled, maybe twice a year, but built a pension pot and assets during that time to be able to retire early.
Retired at 53 and travelled since.
Your life, live it your way.

Don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I was never a fan of roughing it, so DH and I spent 11 years childfree working corporate jobs but taking extra time off every year for longer trips. Felt like it scratched the itch without backpacking or hostels. I’m looking forward to the next chapter now but would be lying if I said I didn’t feel misty-eyed over those days already! Enjoy it x

Only thing I’d say is I know people who travel for long periods of time, come back skint to their parent’s home and get a fixed term job until they have enough money to be on their way again. Nothing wrong with that either but it makes it a bit difficult to stop travelling, as every time you come back, you’re starting from nothing without savings and a house deposit and your own place probably feels a bit unachievable? Good luck whatever you do x

As a fellow traveler, I agree with you.
Travel now, while you're healthy and while you can.
The world's changing so fast.
If you love to do it, and you can reasonably afford the time/cost, do it!

Do what you like and can afford but remember not to be resentful or jealous of people who make different choices and may have a more comfortable life when older.

I agree. There are often posts on MN from
women who want at least 2 kids and know they have low fertility waiting until their late 30s to try and get pregnant. You need to know what you want and be reality about trying to make that happen.

Sounds great.

How do you support yourself?

Is this your long term plan?

How do you see your life in 10 years?

Nobody is going to live your life for you, so it doesn’t really matter what they think.

I don’t think you have to rush to settle down but I think it’s pretty risky not to have any plans beyond travelling. How would you live if suddenly you couldn’t work because of ill health? And what will you do when you retire?