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Original poster

Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

385 replies

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

OP posts:
Hippobot · 13/11/2025 18:26

What a creepy perv! I'd be disgusted and angry if a strange man remarked on my body like that when I was working. What a bastarding cheek and even worse that he so casually did it in front of you. Making an absolute mockery of your relationship.

Mummadeze · 13/11/2025 18:24

I would have felt a bit embarrassed if were her because it is a bit of a weird comment but going against the grain, I don’t think it is the end of the world. People calling him grubby and gross… I probably wouldn’t go that far. He was trying to be funny and charming but missed the mark. Showing his age more than anything else.

IridiumSky · 13/11/2025 18:23

The things people worry about. 🙄

The husband was being a bit of a dick, but he’s a man so he’s probably quite good at that. 😀

SpaceRaccoon · 13/11/2025 18:12

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 20:11

I’ve offered to show DH the replies on here, but apparently we’re all a bunch of miserable middle aged women and he couldn’t care less!

May be middle-aged but at least we're not 54 going on whatever age Benny Hill is.
You sound way too good for him.

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 13/11/2025 18:12

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 18:04

He’s from a different era, stuck in his ways sadly no matter how hard I try to educate him.

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No. He's 54, not 80. He's just gross.

abijanzo · 13/11/2025 18:11

Urgh. Gross from him. Rude to comment on her body at all and worse to say ‘in great nick’ 🤮🤮🤮
needs lessons in appropriate behaviour.

SpaceRaccoon · 13/11/2025 18:10

54?! He's Gen X for fucks sake, he should know way better than that.

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 13/11/2025 18:10

Your husband gives me the ick. Seriously, he's gross.

sugarapplelane · 13/11/2025 18:10

What a sleazy, grubby man your DH is. I would be mortified if he was my DH and even more so by his responce about Mumsnet users. Urghhhhhhh

Donttellhim · 13/11/2025 18:06

Cardinalita90 · 12/11/2025 17:10

Inappropriate from your DH but I wouldn't say she was flirting from that, just making polite conversation

Commenting unsolicited on anyone’s body is far from polite….whether it is positive or otherwise. It does sound very sleazy, like he’s been looking at her body and made a judgement on it. Just ew!

Jorge14 · 13/11/2025 17:59

Yeah that’s flirting. To be honest I wouldn’t even care if I wasn’t there but if my husband done that in front of me I’d be pissed off with him.

mrlistersgelfbride · 13/11/2025 14:16

YANBU.
I’d prefer if he would have said ‘you look great’ rather than ‘you are in great nick’.
Eww. Sounds like Swiss Tony from the Fast Show talking about a car.

I feel for you and also the shop assistant who was probably mortified!

GarlicHound · 13/11/2025 14:09

I don't believe nobody's ever told him - even as a child - that it's rude to comment on someone's body.

Commenting TWICE on a woman's body is rude, sexist, creepy and, in this instance, exploitative since she's in a role that obliges her to be 'nice' to customers.

He did not make her day. Women get this shit all the time from pervy men, and we wish it would stop.

To top it off, he told you he's been leching at her from a distance before now!

Congratulations, OP, you've got yourself a man who sees women as decorative objects for his titillation. No, he wasn't flirting - that requires at least the pretence of treating her as a human being.

luckylavender · 13/11/2025 13:57

Not flirting but certainly grubby

Sartre · 13/11/2025 13:36

He was sleazy as fuck and I can almost guarantee she thought the same thing and was not in the least bit flattered. The fact he did it next to you as well is all manners of wrong.

outerspacepotato · 13/11/2025 13:10

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 20:11

I’ve offered to show DH the replies on here, but apparently we’re all a bunch of miserable middle aged women and he couldn’t care less!

Beats being a middle aged asshole 🤡perving on women in front of his wife and being rude AF to retail workers.

QueenClinomania · 13/11/2025 12:10

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:55

Hard to say , probably late 30’s if I was to guess.

I said to DH that I was impressed he could tell anything given she had an apron on and he told me he’d seen her on the shop floor previously!

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Thats even more creepy

PastaAllaNorma · 13/11/2025 11:40

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 20:11

I’ve offered to show DH the replies on here, but apparently we’re all a bunch of miserable middle aged women and he couldn’t care less!

And you're married to this misogynistic twonk because ...?

He's my age. It's not "a different era," it's being a dick. The men his age I know, like DP and my brother would never think of saying something so crass and sleazy.

You deserve so much better.

Ivy888 · 13/11/2025 10:52

YourLoudRoseEagle · 12/11/2025 17:59

My DH talks to strange women all the time. On the golf course, grocery stores, anywhere he is. Women love him, he is funny, and a smooth talker about anything, he also has the most amazing blue, kind eyes. Am I concerned? Not one iota..married for 60 years, and he has never given me any reason to be jealous…..

There’s a difference between a guy talking to other women, telling jokes, having a bit of banter etc and a man making sexually tinted comments about the figure of a much younger woman, especially when she has to keep smiling to keep her job.
I hope your husband isn’t making sexual comments to other women, because I wouldn’t be so sure “all the women love him”. In that case you can be sure he’s giving some the ick but they just smile out of embarrassment or not knowing how to tell him to fuck off.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 13/11/2025 07:50

A.complimwnt is saying something nice about something you've changed or achieved. Not telling someone who can't say what they really want (because they're working) that you have been appraising their body and that you like what you see! The worst part is 'seriously, you are on great nick'...who wants to be told at work that a pervy old man approves of your figure?

InterestedDad37 · 13/11/2025 07:28

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

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She was being polite.
He was being a sleazebag.
He's also obviously an idiot.

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 13/11/2025 07:18

Your dh is a ass doing that right next to you I would tell him he's a mega twat and that he is out of order

TheAlertLimeSnail · 13/11/2025 07:10

Just being nice nowdays people will take offence to it.

@Tryingtolikeyou but some people (myself included) don’t think it’s 'nice' to know that a random man has been looking at and making judgments about their body, even if the comment is complimentary. It’s intrusive and objectifying.

It’s not about being offended. The whole 'everyone’s offended these days' line is lazy and reductive. It’s about respect. Nobody wants to feel they’ve been perved on while just trying to do their job or get through the day.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 13/11/2025 00:06

Is he mortified? He should be. Idiot.

2GreatFatSquirrels · 13/11/2025 00:03

Not flirting but definitely inappropriate to comment on a workers body