Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

She's not flirting. But he's obviously noticed her figure and hasn't got the brain to think you might be offended. I also think he would never have said anything if he didn't find her attractive. Its really disrespectful to you, and he should have just shut up. Saying shes in great shape indicates he's really been checking her out.

Go into a shop with him and do the same with a male sales assistant. Telling him you can see he works out as he looks amazing.. or just say you look so much
like my ex bf, the resemblance is uncanny. See how your man likes it!

Showing his age more than anything else.

That's an extremely ageist comment. I'm 60 and I can't imagine dh or any of our friends making such a disrespectful comment. My father, who is 85, would never have made a comment like that either.

There are sleazy letchs in every generation. He just happens to be one.

Oh come off it. He's 54, not 84. I'm 44 and I've got mates in their early 50s, they're decent, normal men who wouldn't sleaze on a woman at work.

Different era, indeed! I worked in shops in my early 20s and hated the comments. Thankfully I don't get them now I'm middle aged.

29% of women think ‘you’re in great nick’ and commenting on a strangers physique is okay?

Completely gross comment, I bet she felt objectified and awkward!

Bloody hell, where did you find him, the 1970s?

How old are you? Because I am nearly 50 and no partner or friend of mine would EVER pass pervy comment on a female strangers body to them.

My dad is 81. I’ve never ever heard him say anything even slightly like this.

It is NOT age, it is cuntiness.

edited - wrong post

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest from a ‘my dh is flirting with some else’ pov but from a sleeze pov - yuck!

I’m not middle aged, he’s a slimy sleaze ball. Also, it’s hilarious that he’s using middle aged as an insult when what he means by that is women who are younger than himself.

It’s not even about whether he made the woman’s day or not (he didn’t), it’s the fact that he would disrespect you as his wife like that. Firstly, that he said it whilst you were stood right next to him and again when it bothered you and he didn’t care that he’d made you feel bad. He may have made her day (he didn’t) but it came at the expense of your day and the fact that he can’t understand that, or simply doesn’t care, makes him an ass as well as a creep.

And he's not middle aged?! Aw bless

I hate this kind of leery behaviour. He shouldn't be commenting on her body in any context. I've done bar/club work my whole adult life. Some men think you're a captive audience and are very inappropriate. I've had men openly flirt with me in front of their wives/girlfriends while I've stood there with a polite smile on my face. One woman accused me of encouraging him while he was in the Gents. I told her sternly that I'm not the one. I have no interest in her fella (who was built like Gru) and if he's comfortable cracking on to other women in her presence I'd be questioning how he's behaving with them while she's not around. She was so offended it was almost as if she forgot that she warned me off him a minute earlier 😆

Wow, he's a real piece of work. A wee divorce on the cards for Christmas?

Are you lacking something productive to do so you've come onto MN to ask about this first world issue?

I'm embarrassed for him.

What?

I’m surprised at any of the posters on here who think this is ok.
The shop assistant is sitting duck and probably has to be polite at all times unless she has a very progressive employer who would support her challenging this kind of behaviour.
in no circumstances whatsoever is it ok to make uninvited observations about someone’s appearance, particularly a stranger, especially their body which is essentially what he did, and another layer is added when she is in a position of serving and he has the power of being the customer, he’s abused that position and Been disrespectful to you and her.

@Bex39 you’re not wrong by being unsettled by this.
im no longer young but i used to regularly get comments like this from married / coupled men, in front of wives / partners or behind their backs and even in my latter years I’ve still experienced it although not half as much 🤣
I always feel sympathy for the wife and when I have been with men who’ve done similar things to other women I’ve felt embarrassed , hurt, disrespected and disappointed .

Showing his age more than anything else.

He's not of that generation where it's an excuse though. He would have been young in the 90s, the Gen X grunge generation, the original ravers etc. That would have been more his parents' generation.

She definitely thought he was a weirdo, who does that? Especially infront of their spouse. Just make sure to comment on any wealthy men’s cars you see in future. “Oh look at that Bentley, I wonder which one of these men own that?!” .. anyone can get in good shape, being rich is something most men can’t achieve 😂 #petty

Absolute bullshit. Stop making excuses for his sleaziness.

I can't even imagine my husband's dad speaking to a woman like this and he's in his 70s so that different era crap, won't wash.

You're married to a sleazy creep.

I'm in my early 30's so I don't think you'd class me as middle aged yet? I also worked in retail for a long time. What your DH did isn't really flirting, it is icky though. You got used to it, but it wasn't ever flattering or anything, it was gross and par for the course from a certain 'age group' of men.
My own Dad does it and it gives me major cringe and I hate it, but I can't make him stop, but he is almost 20 years older than your DH.

She was probably thinking "put your tongue back in grandpa". Is he always such a greasy old git?

I think he made the comment flippantly and thoughtlessly.
He didn't think for a moment that you're there beside him.
I don't think he was flirting, like others have said he was a bit sleazy and I'm wondering if he's having a midlife crisis.

Seriously though, his response to you is the issue here I think.

You need to either let if go because you won't win this arguement and/or evaluate your relationship 🤷🏼‍♀️

Eww!!! What an odd thing to say. He overstepped the mark with her and you! What a vile creepy man. Wonder what else he gets up to when you’re not around 🤔

Wow! What an arrogant, chauvinistic prick!

Sleazy.

I would rather be single than in a relationship with a man like this. He’s acting like she exists for his pleasure, and doesn’t give a shit that he’s in a relationship with you. I would be seriously embarrassed by this.

That poor woman having to tolerate this bullshit.