Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

385 replies

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 12/11/2025 17:22

If I was being generous to him he might have thought he was being kind rather than sleazy. But I don’t think objectification is even kind.

BillieWiper · 12/11/2025 17:21

I'd call it perving not flirting.
Totally unnecessary really. I mean he could've just about said 'you don't show it.' if she was slim if he was desperate to give a compliment about her appearance. Just about. At a push. But then to add the bit about 'being in good nick' it's just unnecessary and she was probably cringing.

I'm sure he wouldn't be delighted if you complimented a male shop staff on their body not once, but twice, in front of him.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 12/11/2025 17:21

'in great nick' ?

Is DH a second-hand car salesman?

roastedrapidly · 12/11/2025 17:21

As a female who works a front facing role...we do not want our customers to comment on our appearance / figure / accent / smile / scent etc. It is gross & sleazy and happens far too often and it is never welcome. We are there to provide a product or service, the way we look is not part of the service offered.

RememberBeKindWithKaren · 12/11/2025 17:20

Ha ! That's the sort of thing my dad would have said. Which probably drove my mum nuts. It's not very nice for you to have to endure. If it bothers you, then you should say something Op. Wouldn't take much effort for him to watch what he's saying.

YodasHairyButt · 12/11/2025 17:20

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

Show quote history

He’s delusional if that’s what he thinks! Yuk

Ahwelltoobad · 12/11/2025 17:20

Asunciondeflata · 12/11/2025 17:12

Did he tell her that they put it smell in gas?

😂😂😂

outerspacepotato · 12/11/2025 17:20

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

Show quote history

You can't take this one anywhere, he's an entitled asshole.

EveryKneeShallBow · 12/11/2025 17:20

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

Show quote history

Show him these responses then he’ll see how it comes across to women.

Anywherebuthere · 12/11/2025 17:19

I feel embarrassed for you because of how he spoke but I wouldn't class it as flirting.

Halfwaytheree · 12/11/2025 17:19

It depends, in hotel chocolat for example their staff wear aprons so you wouldn’t be able to see someone’s figure - if that was the scenario here, then he might have just clumsily worded “you’re not fat” to her in reference to the conversation about eating a lot of chocolate. But if she was wearing something where her figure was visible then I’d definitely think he was overstepping and making a leery comment.

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 17:19

I would be absolutely appalled if my husband (or in fact any man I was with) spoke to a shop assistant in such an inappropriate way.

She didn’t laugh because it was funny, she laughed because she was uncomfortable.

Original poster
Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

Grumpynan · 12/11/2025 17:18

Yes I would say he was flirting, totally disrespectful to you and very embarrassing for the shop assistant.

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 12/11/2025 17:18

It's not polite to make comments about strangers' bodies to them what the fuck is he on. He was rude and sleazy, the opposite of polite.

napody · 12/11/2025 17:18

JustTalkToThem · 12/11/2025 17:08

Ugh - he might think it's flirting, but it's just sleazy.

Edited

This. Flirting is mutual. She was probably cringing.

EveryKneeShallBow · 12/11/2025 17:18

Sleazy and gross. I’d be cringing but that’s not flirting it’s perving.

Grumpynan · 12/11/2025 17:18

Yes I would say he was flirting, totally disrespectful to you and very embarrassing for the shop assistant.

Floundering66 · 12/11/2025 17:17

Another vote for sleazy not flirty! Perhaps it’s ok to say “oh you wouldn’t know, you’re so slim” but telling someone they are “in great nick” - just no. She’s not a used car 🙄

Wishimaywishimight · 12/11/2025 17:17

If that's his idea of flirting, you have nothing to worry about.

As for the assistant, I bet she was inwardly rolling her eyes at the tragic creep who was eyeing her up along with the chocolates.

PastaAllaNorma · 12/11/2025 17:16

Commenting on a woman's body is never "just being friendly", it's being a creep.

augustusglupe · 12/11/2025 17:16

You’re not overreacting atall. Men like this make me sick. The assistant sounds like she was being polite and tolerated him because he was a customer.
Saying ’You’re in great nick’, whilst you stood there?! What a prat.

Burntt · 12/11/2025 17:15

If he did it in front of you then I’d not class it as intended flirting. It’s sleepy to comment on a woman’s figure though gross. I’m not slim anymore but when I was the amount of men who made comments like this was sickening

HungreeHipp0 · 12/11/2025 17:15

I work in a shop that sells chocolate and if a customer said that to me I would be giving him a 🤨 look.

AngryBird6122 · 12/11/2025 17:15

Yup sleezy not flirty

Frynye · 12/11/2025 17:14

Sleezy not flirty

Swipe left for the next trending thread