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Original poster

Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

385 replies

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

OP posts:
SpiralSister · 12/11/2025 17:45

Bloody grim. Imagine not only saying it, but then doubling down.

Is he always like this?

Holluschickie · 12/11/2025 17:45

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 17:44

Oh, in case it’s not clear to him - she laughed and smiled because she needs her job

Yep. Show him this thread.

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 17:44

Oh, in case it’s not clear to him - she laughed and smiled because she needs her job

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 17:43

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

Show quote history

Women do not feel validated by having their bodies being inspected by strange male customers and they don’t feel proud if they happen to meet his approval.

They feel disgusted, disrespected, uncomfortable and potentially frightened.

Your DH’s behaviour was not flattering, humorous or flirty. It was reprehensible.

She thought he was an arsehole.
As soon as he left the shop she’ll have rolled her eyes and told her colleagues how disgusting he was.
As soon as she got home she’ll have told her flatmates/DH/BF/Mum how horrible he was and how dreadful his behaviour was particularly in front of his wife.

He’s not charming. He’s creepy.

VIOLETPUGH · 12/11/2025 17:41

Yuck, what a slimy creep !

QueenClinomania · 12/11/2025 17:40

Thats just creepy.
Its not ok to act like that.
How old did she look?

I seriously doubt he made her day. Random middle aged bloke talking about her body with his wife standing right there while she's just trying to do her fucking job.

AgnesX · 12/11/2025 17:39

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:27

He’s 54.

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Yup, that was the demographic that would leer at me (in my nylon coverall!)

HouseofDreams · 12/11/2025 17:39

Eeew what a creep

DeQuin · 12/11/2025 17:38

Definitely did not make her day. Show him this thread. Nobody wants a rando commenting on their body when they are at work.

Zempy · 12/11/2025 17:37

Grim

Lostworlds · 12/11/2025 17:37

She wasn’t flirting, he was being creepy!

LushLemonTart · 12/11/2025 17:36

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

Show quote history

100% guaranteed he didn't. Is he 70? It's like something from the dark ages.

TheIceBear · 12/11/2025 17:33

I don’t like it when men feel they have the right to comment on women’s bodies like that. It’s inappropriate

hellowhaaat3632 · 12/11/2025 17:32

Maybe he thought she was really muscular?
Sounds like an awkward not-sure-what-to-say-moment really.

I wouldn't worry unless there was more you've seen.

waterrat · 12/11/2025 17:31

yuck. it would not be okay for me if my husband did this. Its sleezy apart from anything else.

MrsPrendergast · 12/11/2025 17:30

Dear lord. A 54 year old sleaze ball telling a woman she's in great nick. Does he think this is 1975?

AmyDudley · 12/11/2025 17:28

'In great nick'??

Did he go on to say 'are all your parts working or do you need oiling?' ?

AltitudeCheck · 12/11/2025 17:27

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

Show quote history

I'd direct him to this thread so he can learn what women really think when a random bloke makes an unsolicited appraisal of our body, especially while we are at work.

Original poster
Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:27

AgnesX · 12/11/2025 17:23

What age is he? I worked in a supermarket when I was in college ( admittedly not yesterday or even the day before) and you'd get daft old trouts or creeps thinking they were being charming when it was really eww.

I don't imagine much has changed over the years.

Show quote history

He’s 54.

OP posts:
Mama1980 · 12/11/2025 17:26

Sleazy - yuck - but not flirting. And as someone who used to work in a shop he’s totally deluded - depressingly every second man would say stuff like that and it was beyond annoying.

Change2banon · 12/11/2025 17:24

Not flirting but inappropriate comments towards a stranger, and inappropriate in front of his wife.

Holluschickie · 12/11/2025 17:24

Sleazy and gross. He sounds like he is from last century.

BauhausOfEliott · 12/11/2025 17:23

There’s no way he’d have had this conversation with a man!

I bet she was embarrassed. Especially given that you were right there with him. I remember being mortified when I was a barmaid and men would behave like that when their wives were present.

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 12/11/2025 17:23

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

Show quote history

He is deluded. I feel bad for you being married to someone who thinks like that.

She probably used her best customer service laugh reserved for the sleazeballs like your DH. He should be embarassed.

AgnesX · 12/11/2025 17:23

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

Show quote history

What age is he? I worked in a supermarket when I was in college ( admittedly not yesterday or even the day before) and you'd get daft old trouts or creeps thinking they were being charming when it was really eww.

I don't imagine much has changed over the years.

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