Page 13 | Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

Bex39 · 2025-11-12T17:07:08+00:00

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me. We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him. Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure SA - you are being too kind DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’ SA - laughs

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 18:08

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 18:04

He’s from a different era, stuck in his ways sadly no matter how hard I try to educate him.

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You said he’s 54? What the hell?

What different era? That kind of behaviour hasn’t been appropriate since before I worked in retail over 30 years ago.

Ot hasn’t been appropriate for the whole of your DH’s adult lifetime

outerspacepotato · 12/11/2025 18:07

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:27

He’s 54.

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🤮

What if somebody actually told him to shut the fuck up, you creep perv?

Would he get that his fossilized sexism is inappropriate, to say the least?

If he's learned to use modern technology and appliances and he's been working, he knows that commenting on people's bodies in unacceptable behaviour. He's choosing to be stuck because he's a sexist ass

Thundertoast · 12/11/2025 18:07

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 18:04

He’s from a different era, stuck in his ways sadly no matter how hard I try to educate him.

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Are you actually still attracted to him? Curious!

slowsakura · 12/11/2025 18:07

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 17:43

Women do not feel validated by having their bodies being inspected by strange male customers and they don’t feel proud if they happen to meet his approval.

They feel disgusted, disrespected, uncomfortable and potentially frightened.

Your DH’s behaviour was not flattering, humorous or flirty. It was reprehensible.

She thought he was an arsehole.
As soon as he left the shop she’ll have rolled her eyes and told her colleagues how disgusting he was.
As soon as she got home she’ll have told her flatmates/DH/BF/Mum how horrible he was and how dreadful his behaviour was particularly in front of his wife.

He’s not charming. He’s creepy.

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All of this. All of it.

I lost my figure due to heavy steroids, and honestly I am just relieved not to get unsolicited attention from creepy men any more.

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 18:05

YourLoudRoseEagle · 12/11/2025 17:59

My DH talks to strange women all the time. On the golf course, grocery stores, anywhere he is. Women love him, he is funny, and a smooth talker about anything, he also has the most amazing blue, kind eyes. Am I concerned? Not one iota..married for 60 years, and he has never given me any reason to be jealous…..

Our concern is not for how the OP feels - it’s for how the shop assistant feels.

Your DH might well be charming, kind and funny.

We aren’t talking about charming, kind and funny.

We’re talking about creepy, disrespectful and inappropriate

slowsakura · 12/11/2025 18:05

I used to loathe men making comments on my body /appearance at work. It's grim behaviour.

And yeah. It's flirting.

Original poster

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 18:04

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 17:57

That doesn’t give you the absolute ick?

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He’s from a different era, stuck in his ways sadly no matter how hard I try to educate him.

OP posts:

youalright · 12/11/2025 18:04

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

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Omg I work in a shop and have since 16 the amount of men usually in their 50s who are creepy to the young girls is gross. Trust me it hasn't made our day where trying not to vomit

purplecorkheart · 12/11/2025 18:03

Creepy, not flirty. I am sure she was rolling her eyes in her mind.

SocksPechora · 12/11/2025 18:03

How revolting. I would be horrified and consider it completely unacceptable if DH complimented another woman on her body whether I was there or not. The fact that you were right there is unbelievably disrespectful to you, and utterly cringe for the shop assistant. I hope you went around the store telling the young salesmen how fit they were.

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 12/11/2025 18:02

YourLoudRoseEagle · 12/11/2025 17:59

My DH talks to strange women all the time. On the golf course, grocery stores, anywhere he is. Women love him, he is funny, and a smooth talker about anything, he also has the most amazing blue, kind eyes. Am I concerned? Not one iota..married for 60 years, and he has never given me any reason to be jealous…..

Prize for missing the point entirely.....

KitsyWitsy · 12/11/2025 18:01

Appalling.

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 12/11/2025 18:01

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:55

Hard to say , probably late 30’s if I was to guess.

I said to DH that I was impressed he could tell anything given she had an apron on and he told me he’d seen her on the shop floor previously!

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Why do you seem more bothered with him noticing her body rather than his disgusting leering and commenting?

At 54, he should know better than to comment on womens bodies unless he has been living under a rock probably a good place for him.

Would he have said it to a man?

HideousKinky · 12/11/2025 18:00

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

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Ah there it is, the Eternal Myth - the belief that women are thrilled to receive any & all compliments men throw their way 🙄

3hairspastfreckle · 12/11/2025 18:00

Boke 🤢

YourLoudRoseEagle · 12/11/2025 17:59

My DH talks to strange women all the time. On the golf course, grocery stores, anywhere he is. Women love him, he is funny, and a smooth talker about anything, he also has the most amazing blue, kind eyes. Am I concerned? Not one iota..married for 60 years, and he has never given me any reason to be jealous…..

LilyGeorge · 12/11/2025 17:57

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:55

Hard to say , probably late 30’s if I was to guess.

I said to DH that I was impressed he could tell anything given she had an apron on and he told me he’d seen her on the shop floor previously!

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That doesn’t give you the absolute ick?

Original poster

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:55

QueenClinomania · 12/11/2025 17:40

Thats just creepy.
Its not ok to act like that.
How old did she look?

I seriously doubt he made her day. Random middle aged bloke talking about her body with his wife standing right there while she's just trying to do her fucking job.

Hard to say , probably late 30’s if I was to guess.

I said to DH that I was impressed he could tell anything given she had an apron on and he told me he’d seen her on the shop floor previously!

OP posts:

topcat2014 · 12/11/2025 17:55

First reply is fine, beyond that letch

Ivy888 · 12/11/2025 17:54

Sorry, your husband sounds sleazy. Especially the comments about her figure. That is just inappropriate.

Adelle79360 · 12/11/2025 17:52

Asunciondeflata · 12/11/2025 17:12

Did he tell her that they put it smell in gas?

This made me laugh!!!!😆

Rosiecidar · 12/11/2025 17:51

bugalugs45 · 12/11/2025 17:10

Wouldn’t bother me in slightest , he did it in front of you so obviously not trying to hide anything . Huge overreaction on your part

Behaving in that manner is just disrespectful to OP. It shows a lack of boundaries.

Holluschickie · 12/11/2025 17:50

Flirting is between equals. This is being a sleaze bag.

Climbingrosexx · 12/11/2025 17:49

In great nick? What is she a car?
If that was flirting he's not very good at it.
She probably didn't know what to say which is why she went along with it so as not to upset a customer.

Isekaied · 12/11/2025 17:48

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:19

I put it to DH that she was likely embarrassed to which he said he thinks he made her day!

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Your DH was flirting

She was probably wishing he'd jist take the chocolate and leave.

She doesn't have a choice she has to present herself as cheerful because she is at work.

Any other time she could probably tell him to leave her alone.