Page 10 | Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

Bex39 · 2025-11-12T17:07:08+00:00

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me. We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him. Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure SA - you are being too kind DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’ SA - laughs

drinkwaterx · 12/11/2025 19:15

Holluschickie · 12/11/2025 19:12

Would you like this in your workplace? Someone in a higher position?

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Honestly if it gets me to the top yeah id play the boss like a fiddle to get what i want.

LushLemonTart · 12/11/2025 19:14

Crudd99 · 12/11/2025 19:06

See how he likes it. Next time you're in a shop that sells mens clothes start complementing the nearest male assistant on the shape of their figure and how they look like they work out etc.

Please don't @Bex39

Also it works both ways. As previous poster said young men get this. Ds1's friend worked a bar and got groped and comments from older women. He didn't tell me until he'd left. His dm wouldn't have done anything but I would. No dad around for him.

Holluschickie · 12/11/2025 19:12

drinkwaterx · 12/11/2025 19:10

Would i like it if some man said i had nice tits that fill out my jumper YES without a doubt yes.
And i laugh about it.
Because i dont find offence in everything.
If anyone wants to tell me i look good even though i look rough im gonna take it because life is shit with everyone taking offence.

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Would you like this in your workplace? Someone in a higher position?

Hons123 · 12/11/2025 19:12

Holluschickie · 12/11/2025 19:04

This is a truly bizarre response.
I have no words really.

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It was not a bizarre response, it was a simple question.
What is the value of your female friendship to your male friends? Very simple question. To put it simply, what are they getting from you as a friend that they would not be able to get from their mates?

drinkwaterx · 12/11/2025 19:10

NewBalonz · 12/11/2025 18:59

Those are not parts of your body though. Would you like unsolcited comments on how nicely your breasts fill out your jumper?

Look at the shop assistant's responses. Seems like textbook polite brushoff to me. But yes, I cannot 100% know. I will change it to 99.999%

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Would i like it if some man said i had nice tits that fill out my jumper YES without a doubt yes.
And i laugh about it.
Because i dont find offence in everything.
If anyone wants to tell me i look good even though i look rough im gonna take it because life is shit with everyone taking offence.

Dweetfidilove · 12/11/2025 19:10

Some women like when men 'appreciate ' their great figure, some find it repulsive; so who knows how she took it 🤷🏾‍♀️.

There's no flirting though. Overstepping, perhaps. Flirting, no.

Booklook · 12/11/2025 19:08

Crudd99 · 12/11/2025 19:06

See how he likes it. Next time you're in a shop that sells mens clothes start complementing the nearest male assistant on the shape of their figure and how they look like they work out etc.

A friend of mine did this to a barman at the weekend. It was horrible. Don't do that OP.

HighlyUnusual · 12/11/2025 19:08

so embarassing for you, let alone the poor shop assistant who must have been thinking- what? his wife is just there.

Purplecatshopaholic · 12/11/2025 19:07

Inappropriately over friendly/sleazy. And with you right there, disrespectful to you too. Yuck.

Crudd99 · 12/11/2025 19:06

See how he likes it. Next time you're in a shop that sells mens clothes start complementing the nearest male assistant on the shape of their figure and how they look like they work out etc.

Kelly1969 · 12/11/2025 19:05

Eww, def over friendly for a random woman serving in a shop, or any woman really!
Complimenting someone on their figure is not appropriate

OchonAgusOchonOh · 12/11/2025 19:04

Hons123 · 12/11/2025 19:01

Of course! How silly of me - your male friends talk in front of you just the way they talk between themselves or to their mates when you are not there. Silly me. Apologies.
P.S. Sorry, what is the added value of you as a female to their friendship? Are you a 4th-year running Carp fishing champion? Trout fishing? Maybe you are a prized car racer who gives excellent tips on how to switch an antique car from 2rd to 3rd without using a clutch just by listening to the revs?

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I don't think I know any men who know anything about any of those topics.

I have make friends. We get on because we have things in common and enjoy one another's company. Dh also has female friends. They get on for the same reasons.

Holluschickie · 12/11/2025 19:04

Hons123 · 12/11/2025 19:01

Of course! How silly of me - your male friends talk in front of you just the way they talk between themselves or to their mates when you are not there. Silly me. Apologies.
P.S. Sorry, what is the added value of you as a female to their friendship? Are you a 4th-year running Carp fishing champion? Trout fishing? Maybe you are a prized car racer who gives excellent tips on how to switch an antique car from 2rd to 3rd without using a clutch just by listening to the revs?

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This is a truly bizarre response.
I have no words really.

PhuckTrump · 12/11/2025 19:03

Why do the women on this thread defending this man’s actions have such a poor grasp of grammar and written English? 🧐

misskatamari · 12/11/2025 19:03

Being 54 is not from a bloody “different era!” I’m 42 and have plenty of friends who are late 40s, early 50s- they’re well aware this type of things just isn’t appropriate. Massive massive ick from me here!

OchonAgusOchonOh · 12/11/2025 19:02

drinkwaterx · 12/11/2025 18:53

How do you know it did not make her day we are not all the same.
I got told by a man yesterday he liked my jumper said it was very sparkly matched my ear rings. NGL it did make my day tbh.

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Hardly comparable...

Hons123 · 12/11/2025 19:01

Holluschickie · 12/11/2025 18:51

Wow. Do you not see the difference between being friends with a woman- none of my male friends comment on my body btw- and perving on someone in her workplace?

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Of course! How silly of me - your male friends talk in front of you just the way they talk between themselves or to their mates when you are not there. Silly me. Apologies.
P.S. Sorry, what is the added value of you as a female to their friendship? Are you a 4th-year running Carp fishing champion? Trout fishing? Maybe you are a prized car racer who gives excellent tips on how to switch an antique car from 2rd to 3rd without using a clutch just by listening to the revs?

pinkyredrose · 12/11/2025 19:01

ThatChristmasMug · 12/11/2025 18:42

Funny how my teenage SON has a lot worst to say about WOMEN when he's bartending, but it's always men isn't it? I am guessing because my son (and all the others) are male, it doesn't count?

The double standards are hilarious.

Sorry, what?

Booklook · 12/11/2025 19:00

I feel very sorry for the (presumably) young woman, having to put up with that whilst doing her job.

I'm not sure if it's flirting but he has a low opinion of women and of you.

YesIReallyDidOK · 12/11/2025 19:00

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 18:04

He’s from a different era, stuck in his ways sadly no matter how hard I try to educate him.

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So the man who thinks it's a compliment to comment on a random woman's body doesn't respect a woman's opinion? I could never have seen that coming.

NewBalonz · 12/11/2025 18:59

drinkwaterx · 12/11/2025 18:53

How do you know it did not make her day we are not all the same.
I got told by a man yesterday he liked my jumper said it was very sparkly matched my ear rings. NGL it did make my day tbh.

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Those are not parts of your body though. Would you like unsolcited comments on how nicely your breasts fill out your jumper?

Look at the shop assistant's responses. Seems like textbook polite brushoff to me. But yes, I cannot 100% know. I will change it to 99.999%

OchonAgusOchonOh · 12/11/2025 18:59

ThatChristmasMug · 12/11/2025 18:42

Funny how my teenage SON has a lot worst to say about WOMEN when he's bartending, but it's always men isn't it? I am guessing because my son (and all the others) are male, it doesn't count?

The double standards are hilarious.

I'm sure if you start a thread about women making inappropriate comments to your son you will get very similar answers to the ones gets.

Sleazing on anyone by anyone is inappropriate and unacceptable.

ThatChristmasMug · 12/11/2025 18:55

Hons123 · 12/11/2025 18:49

Love advice on MN! Married man and woman being 'friends' and hanging out with members of the opposite sex together - no problem, absolutely the norm, everybody should do that, those who disagree are dinosaurs! Also MN - married man makes polite convo with a shop assistant in front of his wife - sleaze-ball, gross, inappropriate, wrong!

I am not sure which part of MN you've been on, but it's often said that you absolutely cannot ever be friend with a male, that they only want one thing, they will ALWAYS try something and they are born abusive and that men are evil, who can't be trusted and are only here to abuse and destroy women😂

I shouldn't laugh, I have as many male friends as any normal human being, but more importantly I have boys, I do find that attitude revolting. Some women are VERY bitter on here.

drinkwaterx · 12/11/2025 18:53

NewBalonz · 12/11/2025 18:47

That 100% did not make her day. He does not understand women. He needs to read this thread.

How do you know it did not make her day we are not all the same.
I got told by a man yesterday he liked my jumper said it was very sparkly matched my ear rings. NGL it did make my day tbh.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 12/11/2025 18:52

Hons123 · 12/11/2025 18:49

Love advice on MN! Married man and woman being 'friends' and hanging out with members of the opposite sex together - no problem, absolutely the norm, everybody should do that, those who disagree are dinosaurs! Also MN - married man makes polite convo with a shop assistant in front of his wife - sleaze-ball, gross, inappropriate, wrong!

Married man making polite conversation in shop is perfectly acceptable, as is having friends of the opposite sex. However this particular man was not making polite conversation. He was sleazing on the shop assistant and that is unacceptable.