Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

385 replies

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 16/11/2025 14:01

I think commenting on a stranger’s body is odd anyway, but complimenting a woman’s figure in front of your partner is really odd. No need to do that when buying chocolate.

Notsurewhatisnormalanymore · 16/11/2025 11:11

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 20:11

I’ve offered to show DH the replies on here, but apparently we’re all a bunch of miserable middle aged women and he couldn’t care less!

Well we’re not! I imagine most of us are a fair bit younger and more attractive than he is and would be throughly repulsed if he said this to any of us (not having a go at you, just him!)

ToadRage · 15/11/2025 23:37

That's tame compared to some if the things I got as a shop assistant. Been asked out on dates, sexually propositioned more than once, etc. In retail we are trained to build rapport with customers and if that means responding (within reason) to a little harmless flirting that's what we do, keep it polite but I would not want a customer commenting on my figure even in a complimentary way.

weusedtobeapropercountry · 15/11/2025 11:42

JudgeJ · 14/11/2025 16:12

My dear, what on earth are you quoting? I think your reading needs overhauling lovey.

Show quote history

"My dear", I don't know why it didn't quote properly, but you know where you can stick your condescension, "lovely". 😂

Alltheunreadbooks · 15/11/2025 10:16

Congratulations on ending up with man who just objectifies women, doesn't respect their opinions, and doesn't care if he offends them.

If you have daughters, please make sure they know dad is a creep that doesn't respect women.

Let me guess, he's a right wing Farage fan as well?

Lamonstera · 15/11/2025 10:15

bevm72yellow · 12/11/2025 20:12

He got two goals from the situation. The joy of provoking a reaction in OP and being the customer in a possible purchase of expensive goods whilst the young woman trying to act professional and hide her distain behind the laugh. Happens lots. Next time he pulls that stunt don't react say out loudly to her with a smile "His time is done, you need rich, young and handsome" and make sure he hears.

Haha 😂

Usernamenotav · 15/11/2025 10:08

It's not flirting or being polite. It's sleazy and cringe.
Is that the type of behaviour that won you over 🤮

Bones101 · 15/11/2025 01:47

Yikes..surprised she didn't smack him

Tryingtolikeyou · 15/11/2025 00:29

JaneEyre40 · 14/11/2025 16:18

Sorry, what? Introduce yourself to punctuation please.

Show quote history

Gtfu.

Alias0023 · 14/11/2025 19:44

YANBU --- It's innapropriate of your husband to comment on her body. That could be considered sexual harassment

SurvivalInstinctsOfABakedPotato · 14/11/2025 17:34

He's a twat. I bet if she had been big he wouldn't have had the bollocks to say 'yes, you can tell you eat a lot of them'

Why the fuck men think commenting when your slim somehow validates you and makes your day. It doesn't. Even men my own age and it pisses me off.

If your slim they think they can comment and it's a compliment and if you're fat they take the piss

I'd rather they keep their irrelevant thoughts in their own tiny little man brains

No surprise a bunch of women that disagree with him are miserable to him. Not clever enough for an intelligent come back

500 women must be wrong but he's the one who's right... 🙄🙄🙄

user1476277375 · 14/11/2025 17:02

Sleazy 🤢

JaneEyre40 · 14/11/2025 16:18

Tryingtolikeyou · 12/11/2025 21:20

Its clear op dont like her husband very much.
I mean i dont know how i would feel slagging my partner off online and have other people calling him all sorts.
And all he done was a shit comment to a worker.
What if your husband done this come online and got random people calling you names bulling you, because you said a man looked good.

Its like the thread of the man at the cinema alone no one knew him yet he was a pedo a skank disgusting pig for sitting in a cinema alone.
I see it time and time again on here sheer bulling at men.
So many threads like this.

We was not with you so we dont know what tone he was using.
But i do know if it was me and i found out my partner done this, id be bloody hurt to know they allow random strangers on the net to say such hurtful things about me.

Sorry, what? Introduce yourself to punctuation please.

JaneEyre40 · 14/11/2025 16:15

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

Did you get transported back to the 60s? I would NOT be ok with that, if he does that in front of you, what does he do behind your back????

SnappyJadeJoker · 14/11/2025 16:13

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

First comment, fine.

Second comment probably made her feel horribly uncomfortable

JudgeJ · 14/11/2025 16:12

weusedtobeapropercountry · 13/11/2025 19:52

What kind of "she was asking for it" twattery is that? 😂

No, of I make polite conversation with a stranger/customer, I am not inviting them to judge and make remarks about my body. Get a bloody grip 😂

Show quote history

My dear, what on earth are you quoting? I think your reading needs overhauling lovey.

HRTQueen · 14/11/2025 14:23

your post made me think thank god I no longer have to deal with sleazy men thinking they have a chance

he was being a creep and the sa was being polite

Wordsmithery · 14/11/2025 14:02

If that's his best chat up line I don't think you're in much danger, OP. But ugh what a creep.

KWaldron · 14/11/2025 13:40

Bex39 · 12/11/2025 17:07

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

He's being creepy. The shop assistant was being pleasant, in a professional manner, to a customer. For example, Hotel Chocolat staff are notably warm and friendly, which is clearly a company rule. She said nothing remotely flirtatious. Your DH, like dozens of men she has to interact with every week, was disrespectful to her in assuming she was fllirting, and disrespectful to you for parading his attraction to another woman in front of you.

Sadly, just one more typical bloody man.

Julimia · 14/11/2025 12:03

Oh good heavens this is just spur of the moment banter. VeryOTT find something worthwhile to worry about.

shhblackbag · 14/11/2025 09:36

JellyCatOnAHotTinRoof · 14/11/2025 09:27

In great nick! Like a used car! I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye from second hand embarrassment!

Exactly! He's embarrassing himself.

JellyCatOnAHotTinRoof · 14/11/2025 09:27

In great nick! Like a used car! I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye from second hand embarrassment!

GreatFish · 14/11/2025 08:23

Is he trying to prove something to himself or to you.He totally embarrassed himself as well as you and shop assistant.

SoldOutAgain · 14/11/2025 08:20

What a sleaze.

berightorbehappy · 14/11/2025 08:14

I’m not sure why people are splitting hairs between flirting and being inappropriate/ sleazy ? It’s wrong to talk to another female like this in front of your partner ! It’s wrong towards the assistant who is just doing her job and doesn’t need comments on her figure , and it’s embarrassing for you as it shows you’re married a fool with no judgement . Sure he’s not a bad man but remind him he’s living in 2025 and his comments weren’t ok.

Swipe left for the next trending thread