I’ve been separated since April 2024, divorce came through April this year, and with the house sale we both bought our own properties with mortgages. It hasn’t been easy (he was emotionally and psychologically abusive, coercive and just generally not a nice guy, my previous threads are probably here somewhere without going into too much detail) but I managed to sort things.
We have 50/50 custody of DD, and it mostly works. The problem I have is I earn about £50k, and XHB earns about £104k. When we separated he didn’t see why he should pay me child support because “that would make it like I was paying you to look after her and we look after her equally” and said she’d never go without and if she needed something he’d get it. Obviously that isn’t working, he is a typical Disney dad and she gets everything she wants granted, and if I specifically ask he will sometimes get it.
For example in the holidays I bought her school uniform, new bag, pencil case, lunchbox, new coats, and asked him to get her some school shoes and trainers for PE. Which he did. I had to find out through DD because he ignores me now, but she did tell me he was taking her and shoes did appear.
He said he was going to send me money for half her coat but didn’t, I’ve been paying for her dance classes every month since we split up without him contributing and now I’ve forked out £60 on the rehearsals and costumes for the Christmas show and asked him for half and he’s ignored me. The frustrating thing is if he doesn’t see her show DD would be heartbroken so I’ll have to offer him a ticket too (last year I told him I wouldn’t be booking him one without payment upfront and he did eventually send it).
Has anyone dealt with something similar? Don’t have money for solicitors, don’t want to speak to him about it, especially if I’m not really entitled to anything as we do have 50/50 custody. I can get by, it’s just infuriating.