To not understand how a baby can be a “suprise” unless contraception failed

@Differentforgirls @smashinghope
You have in protected sex. This is not a surprise.

Completely wild one in a million situation, but my pal was told she'd really struggle to get pregnant, she only had one ovary and the one she had was knackered, she didnt have periods, and was told she had a hostile uterus that was unlikely to carry a baby to term/high miscarriage risk.

Her husband had had testicular cancer and only had the one ball, the remaining sperm were a bit dicky. They were told IVF was their best chance but with my pal's high miscarriage risk it'd still be a struggle and unlikely to be successful. They decided to accept their fate and go child free, he got a vasectomy too to be extra sure.

She fell pregnant and it stuck. Chances were so unbelievably low, their baby was definitely a surprise!

I think they were doing 20% chance of the 20% fertile days you have a month?

But yeah, my husband and happened to decide to cancel contraception on cycle day 28 - our chances of pregnancy were almost zero, ditto for months I was out of the country during my (unpredictable) fertile window.

Whilst we "weren't preventing" pregnancy during those times, we weren't exactly TTC with any real likelihood of success.

I can think of 2 examples where it was a surprise.
One woman was told she was infertile and would never be able to have children. Her pregnancy was a surprise as the doctor twice incorrectly told her that she wasn’t pregnant when she was. By the time the pregnancy was confirmed, it was too late to do anything other than go ahead and have the baby. She was too late to have any tests too. She had terrible pnd.
The other woman was also infertile. Underwent IVF and had a child. Then got pregnant naturally when her child was under 3 months old. Yes it can happen but her and her dh really didn’t think it would happen to them.
I don’t class these as the same as someone who can easily conceive getting pregnant whilst not taking contraception.

Oh sorry

i see its already been addressed…note to self, refresh before posting

My husband and I tried for a baby for about 4 years. We gave up, assuming it wasn’t meant to be for us. A month or so later I did a pregnancy test and it was positive. Our baby has been a wonderful surprise. And she was a genuine surprise.

@Pebblesandstones008 I suppose you may never have been told you will not get pregnant naturally or will need assistance to do so.

We call ds2 a surprise

the surprise bit in his case was that I got pregnant so quickly….not that i got pregnant

but i appreciate thats not what you are referring to

“unprotected sex on a random day has a 4% chance of pregnancy - which is pretty low odds”

That’s not right in real terms though is it. Sex on a random day could be as low as 0% or as high as 35% depending on the day and the fertility of the couple.

My first pregnancy was a pill baby (I was using correctly) but it was ectopic. My second and third pregnancies were the first month of trying/removing contraception.

Personally, I wouldn’t risk unprotected sex at any time of the month unless I was certain that I’d already ovulated and was outside of the fertile window.

No it doesn't mean this for everyone. There is a very big difference between risking something and actively pursuing it.

My fourth pregnancy was a total surprise. I was on the Pill, taking it regularly, suffering from a really painful condition that meant I rarely had the energy for sex but one stomach upset and one instance of sex in the same month lead to a totally unplanned but delightful pregnancy.

DD turned up despite both the pill and condoms, and despite me and DP not wanting kids. Had we known DP was pregnant she'd likely have had an abortion. Instead, we had no idea until DP went into labour!

I know not the same kind of surprise you're talking about OP, but its DDs 18th birthday today so thought it was at least tangentially relevant!

i remember my friend telling me that it was a surprise as they weren’t ‘trying’ but having unprotected sex. It made me chuckle!

it took us 2.5 years to conceive our child. They are now 6 and we’ve never used contraception. I would class that as a surprise as I’m sure we’re infertile but not a surprise if you know what I mean? As we have been having unprotected sex!

All kinds of reasons! Humans take risks all the time. Some people taking the risks wouldn't really mind having a baby, some secretly want a baby but find it difficult to admit it socially for various reasons, some don't plan their lives completely, some people don't fully believe it will happen to them, some people are ill informed about risks, some people take relatively informed risks because the risks are incredibly low (e.g. pregnancy at 45 or something), some people are chaotic with chaotic lives, some are drunk and do something stupid in the heat of the moment...

With my second we went on a 4 day holiday whilst i was on my period, it was a pill that you had a break for 7 days then restarted again.

I forgot to take a new packet with me so ended up taking my pill 1 day later than i should have.

Anyways fell pregnant, so she was a suprise lol..

My first was a surprise. I wasn’t on the pill for various reasons and we both got drunk at New Year and had booked a holiday to Italy for the following September. I wasn’t in Italy that month, I was in a maternity hospital giving birth 😁Best mistake we ever made.

Your GP was right, you are wrong

https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/methods-of-contraception/natural-family-planning/#lactational-amenorrhoea-method-lam/

"Effectiveness of lactational amenorrhea method
If you are breastfeeding and follow lactational amenorrhea method correctly all the time, it is more than 99% effective at preventing pregnancy.
If you do not follow the instructions exactly, it’s 98% effective and 2 in 100 women will get pregnant again within 6 months of giving birth."

The thing is you don’t know someone’s history. A friend of mine is currently pregnant in a similar situation. Her current DC is less than a year old. But he was an IVF baby after more than a decade of trying and losses. So for her yes falling pregnant was a surprise.

So 6/30 days is 20% of days, at a 20% chance of pregnancy which means unprotected sex on a random day has a 4% chance of pregnancy - which is pretty low odds.

Most people don’t get pregnant when actively trying the first month, and the NHS don’t think that’s unusual until you get to 12 months of active trying. So one random instance of sex in a year resulting in a pregnancy is pretty slim odds.