Absolutely furious with son's school.

I think you need to explain to him that this is normal.

When I was at school I was average at sport and fairly intelligent but never top of the class. As a result I never got any academic awards and was never picked for sports teams. Yeah it always sucked a bit when my name wasn't called, but that's life, they can't award people just to give them an award. I ended up getting a 1st class degree and working in sport, so life swings around.

As for attendance awards, I'd imagine most of the class has 85% plus attendance, so if that's the cut-off they'd need to give most kids the award to stop them feeling hard done by, which seems a bit daft. I'd have thought it gets given to the 1 or 2 kids with highest attendance.

@ThisMerryCat Im sad for you that yet again, a thread where you as the op has explained the situation very well but a bunch of people have apparently not bothered to read what you’ve said properly. So infuriating.
Presumably he is currently in an English stream class? If he would cope with being in a Welsh class and would like to, yes why not switch - the extra challenge may be good for him and full fluency can’t be a bad thing.
I’ve no advice re the rest though but I do understand how annoying and confusing it must be for both you and him. Is this a new problem this academic year? How was he last year? Hoping things get better. Maybe you could have your own weekly award/celebration for him at home on a Friday tea time? xx

Attendance below 90% is considered persistent and should result in intervention not awards!

Are you sure about the 85% ?!?!?! That's waaay below persistent absenteeism which is 90% or so. 85% attendance is bordering on Safeguarding.

This really sounds like you are getting the information from your sons perspective only, you need to speak to the school. Going mad at them will only make you look silly, get the facts first.

I thought you might get some flak for that but it did make me laugh.

It's exactly what my best friend says - she's from the Valleys and when she does go full on Welsh we all run and hide!

Not so much a thing in my part of Wales though

I think rewarding healthy children for being at school all the time is very discriminatory.

Maybe have a chat to your son about how nonsensical the 'award' is and if he understands why its so wrong, he won't want that particular 'award' anyway.

Not read the whole thread and I’m sure someone may have said already but beavers/ cubs might help and is relatively low cost. Also bat shit at school unacceptable.

I see where your son is coming from... I used to be top of the class academically, sporty etc, but never really got noticed for things because I was quiet and good and I guess the school didn't think I needed the encouragement.
I used to be peed off at the time, but I can honestly say 20 years on that it hasn't psychologically damaged me!
Don't you think your son would feel any award or anything would be cheapened if you had to demand that he be given something?
If the teacher is genuinely completely ignoring him then obviously you need to bring it up with school, but in general people respond far better to calm, measured conversation than they do to someone kicking off. I agree with the person that suggested framing it as "my son doesn't feel seen" as that should make them less defensive.
At my kid's school they each get "star of the week" at least once a year. "Jobs" are rotated at least termly, but again there will be some that miss out on the most popular jobs. And attendance awards are given to all over a certain attendance percentage.

Being in the middle is the worst place to be. The top of the class are rewarded, the bottom of the class are encouraged, but the middle? They're doing fine, but are neither exceptional nor a cause for concern. I would definitely keep fighting and bringing it up with the school. It's horrible to feel ignored.

If it’s really that bad then I would be moving my child to another school

I didn't know tattle had things to say about Mumsnet but I imagine they're not wrong. It's a fucking cesspit. Twitter by women.

Is your son an only child or the youngest? The fact you’re automatically believing his version tells me he’s an only child and you’ve no previous experience with older children how they can be very manipulative, pull at your heart stings, self pity almost daily to gain your attention and sympathy, twist the truth to make them look hard done by!! By any chance has he any SEN? In my experience kids with ADD tend to pull the poor me act a lot, is he very emotion over the silliest things and cry’s or try’s hold back tears when you barely said boo to him over something trivial? Does he feel sorry for himself a lot in daily life at home? I’m just asking as I’m trying to paint a picture in my head. As I said, I have personal experience and find from your explanation that your son has similarities to the kids I’m referring to. I promise you, going in all guns blazing shouting the odds could leave you red faced if you discover his “truth” is massively exaggerated. Speak to your son again, tell him you need to know the EXACT details of what’s being happening but drill into him the importance of truth and how lies can get other people in trouble which isn’t fair and he wouldn’t like if people told lies to get him into trouble, I ALWAYS remind my kids of that, it’s kind of like being a detective, you have to repeatedly ask the same questions and get the statement multiple times before the facts start dripping out and the stories a lot different from when it was first told 😂

How are people still managing to post about the OP's son's attendance incorrectly

My wee girl absolutely beamed when she came home and told us something the teacher had said to her. It was literally a six word sentence but the teacher had hit on something that meant a lot to her. So simple, but visibly meant more than any certificate or sticker she's ever received.

People think there's something inherently wrong with wanting a bit of praise but none of us wants to go into a work appraisal or performance review and have no positive feedback on what we're doing. Why would kids be any different.

@ThisMerryCat I realise many posters have misunderstood the 85% attendance thing.

Are you saying that all the kids who are 85% and above are getting attendance certificates apart from your son? If yes, then that's something you would be able to email the school about and get cleared up fairly quickly.

Or do they just reward a small percentage of the top attenders?

When you complained last year, what did the school say to you?

Agee with this 100%, and my background is also in primary teaching. My children were often the ones overlooked - they got on with stuff and didn’t fuss. All they really needed was a little word of praise every now and then. When teachers did this, it was always reported back to me, and I could have hugged the (few) teachers concerned.

Unreasonable to be furious and demanding.
Entirely reasonable to request a meeting with the teacher to discuss your child feeling over looked for everything you listed.
Also a good idea to teach striving to do one's best to feel good and not rewards or recognition.

A child with attendance below 90% is classified as a persistent absentee. The only “award” a child with 85% attendance is likely to get is a letter to their parents inviting them to meet the Education Welfare Officer to discuss their child’s poor attendance. Whilst the OP claims her ds is hardly ever absent, she might actually have a very skewed idea of what good attendance looks like if she really thinks a child with 86% attendance should be entitled to a reward for good attendance. If the OP’s ds actually does have attendance below 90%, part of the problem might be he is beginning to notice he is missing out on things and not understanding what is going on in class due to his recent absences.

Our school only give out awards for 100% attendance end of last term my son was took bowling for havng 100% for the year , 85% really isn't that great and it sounds like he's off quite a bit .
I think the problem that needs addressing with the teacher is that he now doesn't want to go to school and go from there .

This cannot be true. So for 5+ years. and 5+ different teachers your son has been literally ignored? Wtf?

This is a lovely post.

It resonates with me because I have one child who is a high achiever, struggles with friendships, makes the sports teams yet is quite negative about life in general and another child who is average, doesn't make the school teams, yet ambles along making friends easily and is generally happy with life. Of course they are disappointed when they don't make teams but they are also far more resilient than the high achieving child.

Encourage your child at home. Tell him he is amazing for the qualities that he has and that you must have nurtured at home. Build him up. Life isn't long tearing us down.

What a nasty response. I'm surprised you didn't end with 'HTH'.

I'm from Gwynedd and have never heard of this before. Must be an English speaker thing?

Here's the thing, OP, they won't. There are almost no circumstances in which the school will be held to account in a meaningful way and certainly not in a way that properly recompenses for any harm.

And that is true of almost all situations your DC will find himself in in life.

So while getting the school to treat him in a way that encourages his love of learning and desire to be there is a great goal and I do think going in to talk with them is important, you should also look at building up his resilience. Improving his internal motivation, his sense of self, his growth mindset, his ability to put disappointment behind him, and his ability to find and focus on the things he likes in whatever situation he's in will make his life much better whatever happens with the school.

Sounds like your kid is average. If he wants accolades he needs to be more than average in a least one thing. That’s life.