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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask you to reconnect with that person you’ve drifted away from?

141 replies

officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 09:03

I’m not talking about people you had a massive falling out with or estranged family members, unless you want to of course. But everyone has that person you used to be close to that you’ve drifted away from. This is your sign to send the message to reconnect. We can discuss the outcome of sending that first message here

OP posts:
fishtank12345 · 12/11/2025 11:29

I have drifted away from a few friends from my youth and I only regret one of them I would have no idea how to find her now.

I was in a difficult place and didn't contact her first much and she just stopped texting/calling and I didn't even think to chase as I was a mess. She was lovely, would have loved to have kept her in my life now that I am more settled and can see the value of having pals.

Can't turn back time to make better choices sadly.

LushLemonTart · 12/11/2025 11:29

inmyera · 12/11/2025 11:23

I completely agree with you. Having lost two people last month that I hadn't seen in years, but always thought we would see each other again someday, I am so sad and angry with myself that I didn't make more of an effort. There were geographical barriers in both cases, but I wish I had made an effort to see them more often.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Could they have made the effort too? Were you in some sort of contact?

I often reach out to check in on people. I've reconnected with some. Sometimes there's no reason to reconnect though.

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/11/2025 11:25

It massively depends on why you've "drifted" though doesn't it?

I've had situations where I've drifted away from friends for situational reasons and reconnected later and picked the friendship back up. But there have also been situations where I very much didn't want to reconnect with the person.

I'm not in the camp that says you should always leave a dormant friendship but it has to be case by case?

inmyera · 12/11/2025 11:23

I completely agree with you. Having lost two people last month that I hadn't seen in years, but always thought we would see each other again someday, I am so sad and angry with myself that I didn't make more of an effort. There were geographical barriers in both cases, but I wish I had made an effort to see them more often.

shuddacuddadidnt · 12/11/2025 11:23

Don't people drift apart because the interest in being in contact has died? So both parties feel the same way about the relationship.

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/11/2025 11:22

People drift apart for a reason.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 12/11/2025 11:22

Why would us reconnecting with random people having any effect on you?

If people drift, let them. Usually for good reason.

MatchaMatchaMatcha · 12/11/2025 11:20

officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 09:03

I’m not talking about people you had a massive falling out with or estranged family members, unless you want to of course. But everyone has that person you used to be close to that you’ve drifted away from. This is your sign to send the message to reconnect. We can discuss the outcome of sending that first message here

Why? What business is it of yours?

BlueEyedBogWitch · 12/11/2025 11:19

No, you’re alright thanks.

They're mostly twats.

Arregaithel · 12/11/2025 11:18

officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 11:16

Such negative people responding. Life can lead to drifting especially with the pandemic. How sad that the people that have responded are so negative and see this as being the fault of the other person only and want nothing more to do with them. I can see why people drifted away from those who have posted so far.

their feelings are equally as valid as yours tbf @officiallybringing

Original poster
officiallybringing · 12/11/2025 11:16

Such negative people responding. Life can lead to drifting especially with the pandemic. How sad that the people that have responded are so negative and see this as being the fault of the other person only and want nothing more to do with them. I can see why people drifted away from those who have posted so far.

OP posts:
Perruquier · 12/11/2025 09:29

But drifting away is also fine. It’s fine to recognise that some friendships aren’t forever. It doesn’t mean they didn’t have value.

Zimunya · 12/11/2025 09:28

Yup. People "drift away" for a reason. In my case it was realising that I was always the one to get in touch, remember birthdays, and generally be a good friend, but in response I got very few responses and was never contacted first. I finally realised that my "friend" was sending me a clear message - that I wasn't an important part of her life, and the right thing to do was "drift away". No massive falling out, no drama - just a realisation on my part that the friendship was more important to me than it was to her.

RedNine · 12/11/2025 09:24

No ta.

Trentdarkmore · 12/11/2025 09:23

Why?

YoureKillingMyPeace · 12/11/2025 09:22

I would hate to receive a message out of the blue from someone from my past, even though I often think of them and our shared time together fondly. You can’t go back and recreate that time.

We drifted for a reason. We are different people now, and if they didn’t feel close enough to me to keep contact at the time (e.g ‘ooh we must do coffee some time’…& it never happens) I’m not going to getting all pally with them again now.