4yo won’t wear a nappy to bed…

DD had “cotton nappies”, at about 1.5 she started loosing her mind over wearing them. She was day dry by then, we tried disposable nappies but that was no better. We tried lifting and cutting fluids and training and night elimination communication and synthetic hormone. And still she wets. Must be some kind of unicorn. (She’s had her kidneys and bladder scanned too, all normal enough)

Idk we’re about 5 plus years deep in this because of pretty bad sensory issues and the best we’ve settled on is putting a nappy in when she’s asleep (she is ok with this).

The lifting to use the toilet thing limits the wetting but doesn’t stop it. Desmopressin prescribed by the bladder clinic doesn’t fully stop it and more sensory problems with taking it.

I do a LOT of washing. I think we’ve got about 5 more years to go given family history of night dryness

Riiiight. 🙄

Not producing anti-diuretic hormone is a rare medical problem. You absolutely can teach nighttime dryness. Babies who have had cotton nappies are usually dry at night by the time they are a year old - long before potty training. The body responds to stimuli.

I think the point is as the parent you need to make the decision, if she doesn't want to be washing sheets every morning/getting up in the middle of the night to change them then she needs to get her child to wear a pull up. You can't really train night dryness.

It could be a case of finding the right kind of pull up as pp's have said (ninja pants or the absorbent potty training pants) or even get a reward chart for keeping them on until morning or something like that.

I agree with the lifting, I did this with my three children. Also you could do what we did for patients in hospital back in the day - a waterproof band across the middle of the bed covered with a narrow sheet. This can be replaced quickly and easily and means less washing.

Pull ups and we called them big boy nighttime pants.

you can’t teach nighttime dryness. He needs to be producing a hormone that wakes him up when he needs a wee and that age varies by child.

it’s nothing to worry about and your gp
wont be concerned until age 7/8

Waterproof outward from cotton nappies over normal pants. He’ll never learn to be dry at night unless his body experiences the dampness. Modern disposable nappies prevent that.

You dont need to apologise what you are saying makes sense!!

I'm against "lifting". My mother did it to me, and whilst it stopped my wetting the bed, I've rarely slept through the night as an adult and I think this is the reason.

@HelenaWaiting would you like to share what you would advise in this situation then?

I did follow the ERIC website advice, plus all the visits to the GP, plus my own research into medical papers simplified on bowel and bladder sites. Yes you are correct that vasopressin's primary function isn't what we are talking about on here.

But my own child was prescribed desmopressin because he was going on residential school trips at 8 years old and therefore it was trialed beforehand to see if it worked. It did, he was dry every single night on it. However, I wasn't prepared to medicate my child simply to stay dry. He was dry every night at 10 in year 6 reliably and is now an adult.

The point of this post is that for a lot of children you cannot train them out of bed wetting, it isn't something they are doing wrong and you can correct it.

I was prescribed an anti depressant for my bed wetting when I was 4, clearly I wasn't depressed but it was used in children in the 1970s.

That's just a ridiculous false equivalency. Do you really mean to suggest that if OP cannot make her child wear a pull-up she simply won't be able to patent her child at all? Ever? I guess she should just give up now 🙄

I’m not sure why everyone is saying it’s positive that he doesn’t want to wear a nappy at night. It’s clearly not because it’s causing you to have to wash the sheets almost every day. You can’t force a kid to be dry at night - it requires a hormone that he clearly isn’t producing yet. However, you can force him to wear pull-ups because he’s 4 years old and you’re his parent. If you can’t tell him what to do age 4 what hope do you have when he’s older?!

My youngest is still not dry at night and he is 8. My nephew was 10 and not reliably dry until 11.

We follow all advice from GP/ERIC site and are aware it is hormone based and will take a while.

Therefore management is key. We layer the bed with waterproof sheet, towel, normal sheet then an incontinent bed mat (2 for £20 on Amazon) they are large and tuck into the sides of the mattress. The inco mat is easy to strip off and we have them on a rotating basis so always have spare in his room ready to place on the bed at 3am. The wet one we throw into the shower and leave until morning. The mat means the whole bed does not need stripping. We also have fresh pj ready to go. We buy cheap ones as you do need to replace more often with the constant washes.

we also use a fleecy blanket instead of a duvet as it’s easier to wash. Although you can get waterproof duvet covers too.

Great approach. 👏

Um he's 4. Of course you can force him to.

Calm down, dear.

Although I’m not an expert, I can read. The ERIC website is the expert, which is why I added a link to it.

And a quick google shows that vasopressin does play a role in night-time dryness. I have no idea why you’re so angry about it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

are YOU a urologist? Do you have the answers? Or are you just irrationally angry?

Two of mine were dry literally overnight aged 3 my other child was still wearing pull ups aged 6. They are all different. It was just a routine and he is now a fully dry functioning adult.
I was a bed wetter until about 10 and so wish I had pull ups then .

Can’t you use pull up pants instead of a nappy.

Having dealt with two bed wetters - one through to about 11 years old - I would probably try and find an option that is less like a nappy but nonetheless is absorbent. It is horrendous having to do that level of washing all the time.

Help him and praise him for wanting to learn.

Layer up the bed sheets:
On the mattress - waterproof fitted sheet, then a disposable mattress pad, then a cotton fitted sheet, then a waterproof fitted sheet, then a disposable mattress pad, then a cotton fitted sheet, then a waterproof fitted sheet, then a disposable mattress pad, then a cotton fitted sheet.

Also put a waterproof duvet cover onto the duvet underneath the normal cover, and keep a spare duvet (with waterproof & normal covers) on hand in a cupboard.

Of course he will wet while he is learning. He's not going to start learning until he tries. It's important to get him to help with taking off the wet sheets and making the bed ready to sleep in again - doing this is part of how his subconscious will eventually learn.

Never criticise or complain or do anything to make him feel shame or guilt when he wets. It's all a normal part of learning.

We kept a potty on a waterproof sheet right by the toddler bed. So if we heard dc call we could have them on the potty in two seconds, and without having to wake them up even more by trekking to the bathroom.

(we also did the sheet layering thing, although not with puppy pads as I don't like the chemicals in them, or the environmental waste. Waterproof sheets worked fine).

And we have another one. You know this is nonsense, right?