To be worried social services will remove my child

I'm glad he was and hope he can start to feel more settled. My DS was in a PRU for a while due to his SEN and I know several of the other children had witnessed DV.

I hope your children are in therapy and get the support they need.

The school have to report it because he presumably still has parental responsibility.

If he just turned up at school one day and decided he wanted to take them, then he could, legally, and there's nothing you could do about it.

That's the schools concern and it does happen. Men who are abusive will stalk, and they will take advantage, so the school just need to make sure they've done everything they can to prevent that from happening to the children.

Report him…but no one is going to remove children on the basis of this information….how are your kids? Have they had DV support therapy offered to them….because living in that kind of environment takes it toll emotionally and kids can end up with loads of issues going forward into adulthood without the right support…..have you been offered early help support?

Well done for leaving him OP, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Social services will want to help, they will be able to advise you and offer the children some help. You need to make sure that man won’t be able to have any contact with the children.

You also need to look after yourself, an arrange some therapy, maybe call women's aid they will be able to help with advice also.

Have you got back in contact with your family? Do you think they will be able to offer some support.

Keep being brave, you’re doing the right thing, all the best x

social services dont actually want to take children away. Prove you can support them and wont let them have another dad lile
yoir ex.

Not reporting it sounds worse. Wht y would you hide ir? Reporting protects them from ever being taken by him!

Well done on getting out op! No advice but support xxx

I think they would only try to remove DC if you got back with your ex so try not to worry. Take the support that is offered, they may want you to do some work around relationships to prevent it happening again, some safety plan with you and DC and some therapeutic support with DC. Well done on getting out, you've done the right things, you've also done right being honest about this so you and your DC can be open and get the support needed.

i honestly feel so bad for u, he had done a good number on you and the family. You need proper support and advice, u must be open with social services, remember this WAS NOT you doing this, you were a victim too and regardless when u left, u still eventually left and u need to be proud of this. Not everyone can do it. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to get away. You and your kids are now safe. There is lots of support but u need help to utilise them. First point of contact can be your GP. Then there is domestic violence support, woman’s aid, homeless support can refer. Phone the Samaritans they can refer you. But the best thing to do is speak to social services and tell them your fears, tbh they will have an idea anyways. Make sure it is a social worker you feel comfortable with or speak to one of the services and they can come with you or be present to speak to social services. You are ALWAYS allowed to have someone with you to meetings. Good luck x

You were a victim along side your children. The important thing is that you have left him now although your children are going to need a lot of therapy and help for their trauma.

Work with social services and their school and any other support network you can use. They will need it.

Are you worried for your safety if he finds out where you live now?

If yes, then you really ought to inform the police. They'll help keep you safe.

How's your son doing since he was permanently excluded for punching another student three times in the face for pulling his chair out from under him?

Did he go into Alternative Provision/a PRU or was the exclusion reversed?

The reason why they have to report it is because they have a duty of care to ensure you won't need to go back. You've already done what they'd have expected of you.

I agree with this. What you and your children have been through is really traumatic. Well done for getting away. The best thing that you can do now is seek support to help your children (and you) to recover from the abuse you all suffered.
You also need make sure that you will remain safe, so seek support (I’m not sure where from, but I’m sure someone else on here can give some information) to make sure that your ex-husband can’t track you down. I’m not saying that to frighten you, but put anything in place to make sure that you and the children can now live the relaxed and safe life that you all deserve.

Oh love, there is no way Social Services will seek to remove your children now you have them safe and away from their abusive father

Yes, the teacher does need to inform SS where there has been such a disclosure of violence. But in your situation SS will want to support and help you. Tell them everything, they may be able to keep you safe.

Well done for leaving such an abusive man. He sounds very cruel.

Does he know where you are? Will he try to get access to or custody of the children?

This is why it is important that you tell the social worker everything. To make sure that a court would never give him access.

You have nothing to be ashamed about, nothing at all.

Contact Women’s Aid. They will be able to give you expert advice on keeping your family safe. You may find that there is a local church that also offers in-person support and can connect you with local services. Are you able to make contact with your own family again?

Well done for escaping him. Have you ever reported his abuse to the police? He doesn't deserve to get away with it. Co-operate with SS, tell them everything. I'm sure they won't punish you - he's the one who needs charging.

Well done for leaving, but after such abuse you need support. Can you contact women’s aid or a local domestic abuse charity. Go to your GP and explain what you have been though and ask for counselling for the children and you. Make contact with your family. Anything else you need to do to be safe x