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AIBU?

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Original poster

But would you invite your MIL on your hen do?

105 replies

Rosienose · 11/11/2025 18:26

Just that really I didn’t realise it was a thing.

you are being unreasonable - Yes you should

you are NOT being unreasonable - Perfectlg acceptable not to invite them

OP posts:
arcticpandas · 11/11/2025 19:59

I wouldn't and didn't have a hen do but I doubt Mil would have appreciated it any more than I would.

PollyBell · 11/11/2025 19:56

If i had one yes but no I think people have to in general

ThatChristmasMug · 11/11/2025 19:56

Millytante · 11/11/2025 19:54

Why a ‘living’ MIL? Why specify that?

Show quote history

😂😂😂

I dont' want to be offensive, so I won't comment, but it's one of the few posts that genuinely made me laugh. I can picture it 😂

ThatChristmasMug · 11/11/2025 19:55

CutlaSquid · 11/11/2025 19:33

Prompted by this OP?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5442259-holly-ramsay-hen-fallout

if that's what it comes from I am very impressed by the groom who is putting a stop to MIL from hell nonsense so very clearly!

I am guessing her running to the papers and making it such a drama is reason enough to ban her from the wedding, she sounds horrendous. And that's only the hen, they are not even married.

What a cow 😂(IF the story is actually true, I would take DM reports with a huge pinch of salt)

Millytante · 11/11/2025 19:54

usedtobeaylis · 11/11/2025 19:33

I don't think I've ever known a hen where a living MIL wasn't invited.

Why a ‘living’ MIL? Why specify that?

ThatChristmasMug · 11/11/2025 19:52

I hope my own DIL won't feel obliged to invite me, I would feel very sad for her if she did 😂

Mylovelygreendress · 11/11/2025 19:52

usedtobeaylis · 11/11/2025 19:33

I don't think I've ever known a hen where a living MIL wasn't invited.

My DIL didn’t invite me or my DDs to her Hen do although she invited her DM , sisters and Aunts .
I was a little put out but still put £200 behind the bar .

ThatChristmasMug · 11/11/2025 19:51

I have seen a few who invented MIL, mother, grand-mother to some afternoon tea thing and had a proper hen do with friends at a different date.

If someone's idea of a hen do is to do pottery or crochet all afternoon, why not. There's no rule you should have a fun and active hen do!

Cakeandcardio · 11/11/2025 19:45

I did and she came along but left after the meal part (her choice - she was invited to stay out all night).

Witchcraftandhokum · 11/11/2025 19:41

Had my husband not gone no contact with his family just after we met I would have invited his mum and sister, bit there was no penises or anything that tacky.

My father, uncles and cousin was invited to his stag.

LauraHopkins · 11/11/2025 19:37

No. Neither would I invite my mother, or her mate. Sorry Pat.

SilverStripedSunset · 11/11/2025 19:37

If this is based on the story about Adam Peaty’s mum, you literally have no idea (I don’t either) of the backstory that led to this decision.

SparklyGlitterballs · 11/11/2025 19:36

Yeah, depends on the activity. However, a lot of people hold a separate thing that older relatives can attend if the main activity isn't suitable.

What I wouldn't do is invite my own mother/older relatives and not MIL (unless we were LC/NC for some reason) as that's just bad practice and will of course cause divisions.

I feel quite sad for the woman in the news. She sacrificed loads for Adam so that he could have the opportunities he had, and seems like she just doesn't fit in now with his rich celebrity lifestyle and has been cast aside. I'd be devastated.

ShesTheAlbatross · 11/11/2025 19:34

I’ve known people who have and people who haven’t. I think either is fine. But I think it’s not such a norm that a MIL should be offended if not invited. I’d consider that an overreaction.

CutlaSquid · 11/11/2025 19:33

Prompted by this OP?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5442259-holly-ramsay-hen-fallout

usedtobeaylis · 11/11/2025 19:33

I don't think I've ever known a hen where a living MIL wasn't invited.

Onefortheroad25 · 11/11/2025 19:33

I didn’t have a hen but if I did my mil would definitely be invited. She’s in her 80’s and she’d definitely come! If she didn’t want to that would obviously be fine.

Nottodaythankyou123 · 11/11/2025 19:30

I would, and all my friends did on theirs too!

Glasscabinet · 11/11/2025 19:28

My MIL called my mum up ‘disgusted’ that the both of them weren’t invited to my hendo. Mum told her she couldn’t think of anything worse than going clubbing/doing shots (apparently both go hand in hand to my mum) and wouldn’t be fair on us kids having to be on best behaviour..

I told my MIL if she really wanted to come we’d be meeting up in central London around midnight and getting the first train home at 6am but no guarantees she’d even be allowed in. She hates London (which I was fully aware, but it’s central for all my friends) and I knew that the next demand after her invite would be in her home city.

IllWaitByTheWindowForYou · 11/11/2025 19:27

I did, wish I hadn't, she moaned the whole time, her and SIL fell out which resulted in MIL shut a door on SIL and trapping her finger, and MIL refused to pay for her meal.......from that point on invites have been if they are strictly unavoidable, and they will continue to be.

gingercat02 · 11/11/2025 19:26

Depends on the Hen do and the MiL, and if you like her.
I had neither my mum or my MiL. I went to Brussels with my best friends and drinks and clubbing with my work mates.
My cousins wives both had my Aunt, because they both love her dearly. She even went wedding dress shopping with one of them.

Whaleandsnail6 · 11/11/2025 19:22

I did. I also invited my mum and an old family friend who was the same age range as mum and mil.

If it had just been a night out with friends my sort of age, then I probably wouldn't have done.

saraclara · 11/11/2025 19:22

My daughter invited me, her prospective mum in law, and her prospective GMIL! But it was a daytime thing, and she wanted to be inclusive. So it was friends, family, in-laws, and all the generations over 16yo.

It was absolutely lovely, with everyone getting to know each other and having fun, whatever their age and relationship to her.

Drivingmissrangey · 11/11/2025 19:21

I didn’t invite my own mother let alone my MIL.

Shoxfordian · 11/11/2025 19:20

I had two and my mil came to the sophisticated afternoon tea one not the cocktails and shots one