DH surprising me with possible (very) early retirement

He earns more,

It shouldn't be half

Sounds like your husband's retirement has enhances your life. The opposite of what OP's husband is offering.

Actually its him being the selfish one

You gave up pension paying years to bring up the children. As soon as money was less scarce, he should have taken more on, seeing as he was the higher earner, so you could feed your pension so you both ended up on an equal footing

Me and DH, we share finances. Hes supported me most of my adult life due to my ill health. However as we have aged, it's me that's been earning - not a lot - but enough. I had a wee windfall. I paid off my missing Gvt pension, paid his debts, ( which I also enjoyed the benefits of ) so now we are both shovelling what we can into pensions

For me, money in a marriage or a partnership where there are kids and a house, should be shared equally , no matter who earns what, to me it should be a shared pot so you are both on equal footing

Nah, he can work longer to enable you to pay more into your and you can both retire at the same time

Keep your increased pension contributions op, that is non negotiable. Up them to the maximum and if that drops your contribution to the family then too bad, when a marriage has looked after one of the people in it for decades, the other one needs to look after themself for a change.

Has he really done the sums? Early fifties is very early. If he is relying on a defined contribution pension then many people overestimate how much they should be drawing each year. At that sort of age I wouldn’t draw more than 3%. So suddenly what seems like a large fund translates into not very much income.

And if he’s got a defined benefit pension most would have a very large actuarial reduction to allow for the fact that he is taking it so early.

And can he actually draw his pension before age 55, which is, except in exceptional circumstances the minimum age you can do so (increasing to age 57 in 2028 btw).

Also, has he accrued enough NI years to get a full state pension? And has he allowed for the fact that he could have to wait until 68 to get it, depending on the next review of state pension ages which is currently underway.

Pensions is complicated. I hope he has taken advice.

Is he open to a part time job?

My FIL retired at 50, convinced he was going to die like his own dad early 50's - he passed away this year at the grand age of 95.

Jakers You've a mortgage, need new windows, probably white goods. He's a dick.

You really do need minimum outgoings. Energy to rise in the next five years by 20% Octopus are predicting. God only knows how much council tax is going to rise. Water rates will soar. All these are bills that can't be avoided.

I would expect these decisions to be joint ones taking into account both myself and my husband! If he has a bigger pension pot due to you bringing up the children then I would view it as a joint point not his on his own! I would be asking him to sit down and look at the figures together for both of you - why would you carry on working if he isn't?? Surely the compromise would be to meet somewhere in the middle so that you both can afford to retire?

I'd be telling him that's an excellent idea. He can be a house husband and take over the household running and everything else while you just go to work. That you've done your time (with examples of when the kids were small) and it's absolutely his turn.

Then I would gush to anyone in mixed company what a mint thing you've got to look forward to.

Please sort out what you are entitled to financially when you divorce him, and do make sure you take every penny of your full entitlement.

You should decide together, but I kinda understand both points of view. You can't retire and will be continuing to sub his retirement and why should your quality of life (treats, meals out etc) drop while he sits at home? If you had no mortgage, I would say perhaps doable, but not while this is still ongoing. You also don't know what the future holds, what happens if you get sick being the only earner?

On the other side, My dad watched colleagues pass away shortly after retirement, so he retired at 55, and moved from B'ton to Cornwall and lived off the difference in price for property. I wonder if he could hold off for a few more years as planned and perhaps both be in a position to retire a few years early, mortgage paid off and enjoy?

Start putting more into your pension now, so that when he does his sums it can't be accounted as money to be used for living expenses.

If he wants to retire in a few years, fine, you've been given a head start as to what you need to do to get your own pension sorted.

Theres a FB group called Retirement on a Shoestring that shows the lengths some people have to go to survive when retirement isnt properly funded. Also you have to remember thar if you retire in your 50s then inflation will really diminish the value of your savings and income, so by the time you are still in your hopefully active 70s you will be very poor unless you have investments that do really well. No travelling then. Retirement needs planning and saving, and involves both of you equally.

My FIL did this, then the COL increased massively and he's skint.

No it's not! You should both provide. I have never, ever needed a man to provide for me. We both do our bit.

Anybody who retires at 55 could have another 40 or more years ahead. That's a lot of time to fill without the routine and other benefits of a job and living on a pension. Retirement isn't all it's cracked up to be, trust me.

Early 50s?!?

That’s 15 years too early. He is delusional.

This x100

Remind him the court will see you as entitled to a huge share of it.

@Aggyagro I can see why you’re annoyed. He’s being unreasonable. You didn’t have time off & now will be stuck full time while he relaxes. It’s really unfair what he is proposing.

You'd be better off divorcing him then tbh, what a selfish prick. Get yourself prepared op.