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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think feminism’s biggest blind spot is female entitlement?

136 replies

FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 13:53

We talk about male privilege all the time but we rarely look at the ways women leverage social sympathy. AIBU to think equality means accountability too, even when it’s uncomfortable?

OP posts:
Borgonzola · 11/11/2025 14:25

If you’re going to start a debate, your starting point needs to be coherent. I’ve read and reread the OP and cannot get a proper sense of what you mean. Perhaps try again

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/11/2025 14:25

FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 14:21

Not quite, I meant when anyone avoids reflecting on their part in a situation. I just think we talk a lot about men’s accountability (which is fair) but we don’t always hold ourselves to the same level of scrutiny. It’s about balance, not blame.

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Why are you talking in such vague terms? Your words are meaningless because none of us actually have any idea what you're talking about.

Why are you ignoring the requests for specific examples?

usedtobeaylis · 11/11/2025 14:24

No, I think women are held to the absolute highest - and often most unreasonable - standards of responsibility in society. What you're interpreting as female entitlement or some kind of leniency is women not being able to meet those ridiculous standards.

GooseyGandalf · 11/11/2025 14:24

I think feminism has a history of the opposite -sometimes not extending enough grace to women who don’t meet their own standards of strength and courage. Although this is tempered by their advocacy work for the vulnerable.

I think that some of the most effective feminists fail to recognise the privilege they hold by having decent men in their lives (fathers, partners) or the absence of deadweight men. There can be a tendency to judge other women for making poor choices, without understanding the extent of their privilege. That in my opinion is the biggest blind spot.

It’s not a question without merit, but I don’t think you’ve fully considered the immense structural inequalities that feminism is trying to address. There is a lot of good literature on this and I’d be happy to suggest some reading if you’re genuinely asking in good faith.

Dweetfidilove · 11/11/2025 14:23

I'm going to wait for this to make sense before...

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/11/2025 14:22

FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 14:19

Not less self-aware, just less socially expected to be self-aware in certain contexts. Men tend to get called out more directly for their behaviour, whereas women are often given the benefit of the doubt or framed as victims. That dynamic can make self-reflection harder to practice consistently.

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Still word salad.

If you actually have a point to make, then give us some concrete examples of what you mean. Then we can have a proper conversation.

nomas · 11/11/2025 14:22

This sounds like a lot of waffle.

Any clear examples? How are women entitled?

Original poster
FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 14:21

arethereanyleftatall · 11/11/2025 14:15

lol, so your best example is when men are really shit but manage to hide it?

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Not quite, I meant when anyone avoids reflecting on their part in a situation. I just think we talk a lot about men’s accountability (which is fair) but we don’t always hold ourselves to the same level of scrutiny. It’s about balance, not blame.

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 11/11/2025 14:20

FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 13:59

Things like expecting emotional leniency because we’re women or using vulnerability to deflect responsibility. For example, when women make poor choices in relationships or workplaces but frame it as something ‘done to’ them rather than something they also contributed to. It’s not about blaming, just about holding both genders to the same standard of self-awareness.

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I've known just as many men who do that.

JHound · 11/11/2025 14:20

YAWN

5128gap · 11/11/2025 14:20

I think you're confusing character traits that may be present in some individuals, some of whom may be women, with a political movement designed to further the rights of women and girls. I'm struggling to see how behaviour you claim to be exhibited by some women has any relevance to women as a group seeking to further our rights? Are you suggesting that because some women make poor choices, or exhibit poor behaviour, feminists should stop campaigning?

Original poster
FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 14:19

researchers3 · 11/11/2025 14:13

Do you seriously think women are less self aware than men?! 🤔

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Not less self-aware, just less socially expected to be self-aware in certain contexts. Men tend to get called out more directly for their behaviour, whereas women are often given the benefit of the doubt or framed as victims. That dynamic can make self-reflection harder to practice consistently.

OP posts:
ThatChristmasMug · 11/11/2025 14:18

You are on MN, your thread will attract all the posters with their "but it's all because of the PATRIARCHY" and everything and anything must be blamed on the PATRIARCHY. No accountably whatsoever. Female entitlement could only be blamed on the PATRIARCHY

Which I find quite insulting, some of us have some basic intelligence and free will, and are not just moulded by centuries of patriarchy and unable to have an original thought, or free will.

Some of us have reach equality before others I guess.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/11/2025 14:15

FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 13:59

Things like expecting emotional leniency because we’re women or using vulnerability to deflect responsibility. For example, when women make poor choices in relationships or workplaces but frame it as something ‘done to’ them rather than something they also contributed to. It’s not about blaming, just about holding both genders to the same standard of self-awareness.

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lol, so your best example is when men are really shit but manage to hide it?

ImaginaryAilments · 11/11/2025 14:15

Overtheatlantic · 11/11/2025 14:14

I’m making a chicken pie from scratch for dinner tonight.

Maybe if you hold it up in front of your face, it could be a feminist blind spot?

Overtheatlantic · 11/11/2025 14:14

I’m making a chicken pie from scratch for dinner tonight.

ImaginaryAilments · 11/11/2025 14:13

Brefugee · 11/11/2025 13:53

examples, please?

Don’t be silly, @Brefugee — this is the same tripartite-named OP as usual, posting the same clickbait.

Ponderingwindow · 11/11/2025 14:13

I still need an actual example of what the hell you are talking about.

researchers3 · 11/11/2025 14:13

FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 13:59

Things like expecting emotional leniency because we’re women or using vulnerability to deflect responsibility. For example, when women make poor choices in relationships or workplaces but frame it as something ‘done to’ them rather than something they also contributed to. It’s not about blaming, just about holding both genders to the same standard of self-awareness.

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Do you seriously think women are less self aware than men?! 🤔

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 11/11/2025 14:12

My example would be exclusion from military service if there is conscription during a war.

fwiw, I think the biggest blind spot of feminism is white feminism.

Locutus2000 · 11/11/2025 14:12

KitchenDancing · 11/11/2025 14:00

Oh Jay, go back to your Reddit incel sub.

Ha, beat me to it!

TheAutumnalCrow · 11/11/2025 14:11

FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 13:59

Things like expecting emotional leniency because we’re women or using vulnerability to deflect responsibility. For example, when women make poor choices in relationships or workplaces but frame it as something ‘done to’ them rather than something they also contributed to. It’s not about blaming, just about holding both genders to the same standard of self-awareness.

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’Both genders’?

But I thought there were over 100 genders in this wonderful new po-mo world.

ErrolTheDragon · 11/11/2025 14:09

FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 13:59

Things like expecting emotional leniency because we’re women or using vulnerability to deflect responsibility. For example, when women make poor choices in relationships or workplaces but frame it as something ‘done to’ them rather than something they also contributed to. It’s not about blaming, just about holding both genders to the same standard of self-awareness.

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i don’t see any evidence of women being more prone to this than men.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/11/2025 14:02

FairGameJay · 11/11/2025 13:59

Things like expecting emotional leniency because we’re women or using vulnerability to deflect responsibility. For example, when women make poor choices in relationships or workplaces but frame it as something ‘done to’ them rather than something they also contributed to. It’s not about blaming, just about holding both genders to the same standard of self-awareness.

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Sorry, I still don't understand. I am not really aware of women "expecting emotional lenience" (whatever that is), or "using vulnerability" (whatever that means) in ways that wouldn't equally apply to men.

Can you give us some more specific examples, as your posts are reading a bit like word salad at the moment.

KitchenDancing · 11/11/2025 14:00

Oh Jay, go back to your Reddit incel sub.