To think feminism’s biggest blind spot is female entitlement?

I agree with you on this one OP. I’ve expressed this opinion many a time and each time I’ve been accused of dragging women down, not being a “girls girl”. I hate that saying with a passion, I’m a grown woman for a start and I don’t have to agree with every single decision another woman makes simply because we share the same gender. That in itself is female entitlement.

In terms of making bad decisions with relationships, I have personally witnessed this. I cut off a close friendship of 9 years with a woman as she continued to get pregnant and bring children into a toxic relationship with a man who was a vile abusive and neglectful father. I have witnessed this man shout in the face of his primary school aged daughters, telling them he wishes they were dead, called them c*nts, and threaten to put them into foster care, and smack them. My friend seemed to think it was normal to a degree and brushed it off that he was “moody’. He did nothing for those kids, refused to ever look after them by himself. The kids were not well cared for, the school intervened a few times as they’d gone to school smelling of the dad’s weed that he smoked. Despite all this, she’d get pregnant again (yes I know she didn’t get pregnant by herself, blah blah) Anyway each time he’d be furious of course, tell her to abort. She continued with the pregnancies and neither of them would leave the house, so continued to choose lived together in an unhappy relationship, while his resentment to having children only grew and grew, and his behaviour towards them got worse.

Many would label her a victim, I’ve no doubt he was abusive to her but at that point I’d lost any sympathy for her as she was choosing to subject innocent children to him. I couldn’t bare listening to anymore stories of his behaviour and her running the me crying because he’d repeated his behaviour for the 57fh time. It was incredibly frustrating watching her not act in her children’s best interests. I don’t care who thinks I’m judgemental.

THe op wasn't asking us to reflect on feminism as a whole. the point of her very obfuscated, waffly thread, was to ask about accountability for social situations where emotion or simply being female might influence it.

Hence my post earlier about women ALWAYS being accountable for EVERY social interaction, and held to higher standards than men at every point in our existence, getting a lot of agree/heart reacts to it.

are you trying to argue that women are allowed to simply win arguments because we say we deserve not to have our feelings hurt? That is the exact opposite of what I experience in real life and definitely isn’t an argument of feminism.

Yeah, I agree (with you pinkyrose) that’s an example of male entitlement.
When it comes to entitlement, men have >90% of it.

female entitlement is really imho the table scraps men let us have that aren’t really doing us any good.

Example: Paid maternity leave with no equal expectation of paid paternity leave is the #1 cause of the motherhood penalty and gender pay gap today. This special female entitlement ends up costing women dearly because then we become the default caregiver and we are the ones leaving the workforce for years, cutting hours, taking lower paid jobs, hampering our career progression if not outright scuppering it.

But men dont have any flaws obviously 🙄

I disagree, i think women are more often blamed for things that a man wouldn't be. People expect women to be more accomplished than a man on the same work level I've found.

I’m starting to think OP’s point on women being resistant to self-reflection on feminism as a movement is spot on. Never have I seen so many knee jerk DFOD type responses.

Your having a laugh men do almost no emotional labour its the women who do 90%+ of it with no thanks or respect.
Take your DARVO back to redit

Congrats on using the exact same phrase “expecting emotional labour from men,” as you did in your earlier post today on “patriarchal perks” (no one knew wtf that meant either) under the username DualStandardWren (and now we get FairGameJay). AI really is a curse. That post was deleted, and this one will be, too.

Just because there are 5 pages of confused people, doesn’t mean no one understood what the OP was asking: to have a discussion on female entitlement (which while not as large as male entitlement does exist) and her postulation that it is “the biggest blind spot in feminism today”

What followed has been disappointing……

I had hoped this thread would have engaged with the OP’s intruiging question?

Even if you don’t think female entitlement exists, or even if it does it is so tiny as to be irrelevant, what do you think is feminism’s biggest blind spot today? What did our mothers and grandmothers not see that we think should be fought for?

There must be something?

Minor factual correction:
Married men and women have a longer life expectancy/lower mortality rates than single men and women across all age groups:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7452000/

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/articles/mortalitybymaritalstatusinenglandandwales/2010to2019

I think I get what you mean, that equality includes being equally accountable for whatever happens good or bad.

The problem with this is that you must first have equal agency in order to then have equal accountability.

As a class, men have the lions share of agency (social power) and therefore they actually are (and should be) more accountable for society’s ills than are women. Feminism is about women as a class.

Now, between individuals the power dynamics can indeed result in equal agency between a man and a woman or even a reversal- where a woman has more agency than a man. But any of these individual level occurrences are not feminist issues.

I think you need to read Agent Zo and other biographies of female soldiers to fully understand what I mean about how women should not be exempted from conscription in the event of war. In this I am speaking about the countries that continue this inequality, as I know that some progressive countries do equally conscript young men and women.

No, currently women don't fight on the battlefield
You are wrong, women have fought as silent, unseen combatants on every battlefield in every war but too often our contribution was rewarded with a pat on the head, whereas our male counterparts would be given a rank, pay, medals of valour and a military pension.

The idea that we are exempt, means that when we do, it goes unrecognised in the official sense. We are not taken seriously as military leaders at all. I think this is an area we still struggle in.

because we’re women

Well, some of us are.

Men get called out directly for their behaviour do they???? 🤣

Thousands of deadbeat fathers avoiding taking responsibility for their children and bending over backwards not to pay support yet there is no stigma at all. People look the other way

96% of defendants at trial for DV are male but if you mention it the whataboutery becomes deafening.

Ive just finished watching an excellent series called All her fault . Women can't win, we are judged no matter what whilst the bar is set so low for men you can't even see it.

A top tier man is a mediocre woman.

I hope this isn't your essay as it's waffly shit.

The movement never focussed solely on ‘external justice’ (did you never read, in The Female Eunuch, the famous detail about one’s menstrual blood, for example?!)
Seriously though, I think your original, main post, and your subsequent remarks exemplify the frequently encountered narrative wherein everything women have ever expressed, enacted, or been famous for, and which has ever been frowned upon historically, has been blamed at some point on feminism!
This includes the odious behaviour of Goneril and Regan, the bold carryings-on of a couple of Plantagenet queens, the moral frailties of Mary, Queen of Scots, for example.
(Conversely, stirrings of proto-feminism have just as often (and from similar corners) been ascribed to quite other influences. Aphra Behn’s work, Fanny Burney’s courage and endurance, Mary Wollstonecraft’s literally feminist thesis, even the boldness of c20th aviatrices; we often find reports of such women which all but crop out the fact of their independent motivation.)

All of which waffling is to say that even now, more often than not feminism is either blamed for all that is negative, or denied recognition as anything to do with a positive.
The plain fact is that feminism is a term that is still misapprehended by far too many people.

That is because, more often than not, it is the female partner who is the victim of abuse by their male partner.

They are not being 'framed' as victims. They ARE victims.

hth

You should read PPs post again, calmly, because you appear to be getting upset by what you expected to see rather than what was actually said. You made the same error when you imagined you'd seen the word patriarchy, when it was in your post only.
PP hasn't called anyone right wing or misogynist 'for disagreeing'. Its the tactics people use to disagree that she is likening to those used by extremists and misogynists.
Specifically, saying people have said things they haven't, addressing them in insulting tones and sneering at the words they use, rather than simply offering an alternative view.

who is trying to shut anyone up?
Quite the contrary. the OP has made a very stupid "observation" and rather than telling OP to shut up we're well into 5 pages of people asking the OP to clarify.

And then there's you, of course.

I'm a 2nd wave feminist. You're welcome.

let's get back to "first principles"

Define feminism.

None of this has anything to do with feminism.

A woman who is one-sided in expecting emotional labour from her partner she is not willing to give has nothing to do with feminism.

I think you are making the mistake as defining feminism as “anything to do with a woman”.

Perhaps you'd like to share your definition of a "real feminist"?

"feminist" is one of these words, when you use it to describe yourself, you are anything but. Like "classy" 😂

Real feminists don't lecture and try to shut up other women.

No actual argument then, as to why you paint all feminists with the same brush? No explanation as to why you apparently don't agree with women wanting equality?
No; thought as much.