To not expect our dc to just buy us a house regardless of our living situation

Investments aren’t the same as spending money.

Whilst 4m is a lot of money, it’s not quite enough for financial freedom, especially given his age and the huge tax bill coming his way. Plus, the money will be locked up in different places.

He clearly doesn’t feel like your current living situation is that bad or he would be looking to move himself.

Tbh I think he’s being quite sensible by not rushing to spend the money.

I’m sure when the time is right he will help you out, but for now I think you just need to work within your own financial ability.

The M is a typo - he has £4. Hence not offering to buy his parents a house.

@Delacorde I smell 🐂 💩.

If he's savvy enough to amass this kind of money he's savvy enough to have it invested, so this seems odd.

I find it baffling that he has all this money and hasn't offered to contribute. At 23 he's not a dependent, he's essentially a member of the household and should at least be paying some of the rent and bills. If I came into that kind of money and could get my parents out of trouble I'd do it, no questions asked. But perhaps he's worried you'll ask too many questions...

You can never expect your wealthy child to buy you a house, no. However, I'd be disappointed that they haven't offered, or at least given you a bigger deposit to buy.

I think it's a bit shit of someone to live in their parents house and very likely be subsidised by them, watch their parental suffer throiyghawful neighbours, be in a position to help them at very little or no impact to themselves...and just not help them. I know children in significantly worse financial position than your son, who have helped parents or other family members.

So I think they are saying 'why don't you ask him when they mean 'why hasn't he offered, as I'd have done that for my parents'

That

if I had 4 million I would be buying my dad whatever home he wanted or paying his rent if he chose to stay where he was. Plus a new car and a nice holiday and the rest
my dad would give me his last penny

Your son is good and savvy enough with money to have amassed a £3M fortune by his early 20s. But not savvy enough to have moved some of this money out of current/savings accounts.

All the while living with his parents in shit conditions.

OK. Great.

I guess I'm just slightly confused. Assuming he's not earning this in payroll income, it's quite unusual to leave that kind of money sitting liquid in a current account where it's not really earning its keep, and also unusual to leave that much in one bank.

Certainly our financial adviser has us move liquid cash into short term high yield accounts so it's earning high interest but available if and when we need it.

I'm another one who's finding it surprising that someone with such financial nous would be making such a basic error.

Your son is either full of shit or is a selfish arse. Only you know which

If he buys a house, if this is real, then he would pay crapload on stampduty when buying his one.
At best you could ask him for a loan towards deposit to be able to get better house. Whether he wants it repaid or not is a different matter to him having name on the house

Your son is actually a bit of a dick if he hasn’t already offered to help & sees you struggling, if he wasn’t with you then you could buy somewhere with one less bedroom so it’s fair to involve him in the discussion.

how much a month does he currently contribute to the household?

If this is true 🙄I would be ashamed of my son if he had that amount of money sat in his bank account whilst still living at home knowing full well that I was struggling financially and had awful neighbours who made my life a misery, I don’t know why you are feeling proud that you haven’t asked him, you shouldn’t have to ask, he should offer, I bet you don’t charge him board either and do his laundry 🙄

I wouldn't ask for the money flat out but maybe you ask for a loan to pay the difference to step up to another property?

Im assuming that given you saved a deposit in a relatively short space of time, are currently in HA and could only just afford a mortgage we arent talking a 5 million pound mansion that you are looking to buy. It makes no sense that you wouldn't just ask him to loan you 50-100k or to even buy in with you, to enable you to find a place quickly. Something genuinely doesn't add with your story.

Same here: such an income ought to disqualify at least that son from living there (but also, why the hell is he still at home anyway?)

Whatever about that; has this son not offered any help throughout this house purchase at all? Maybe outright buying a house for OP to rent isn't on because he’s unsure rent would be paid. (Is illness a factor, for example?)
Can he not underwrite the work needing doing on one of the other houses OP fancies, if this one is definitely falling through?

Flashing a bank balance of millions while leaving OP stressing about thousands strikes me as lousy behaviour from a man still living at home. Does he anticipate moving house with his parents, too?

If a lot of it is bitcoin, taking some out and putting it in property would be very wise, who knows where bitcoin will go. Whether you pay him back or just put in your will that the house will be his depends if he actually has money in his pocket or just nebulous funds in bitcoin, etc.

I might be wrong but once you’re a tenant they don’t really check your household earnings anymore.

A friend lives in a HA house, in the meantime got married, her DH earns very well (not a millionaire, but between the 2 of them they must be hitting about 90k a year) and they’re still there… paying… £300/month………………..

@Delacorde if my adult child lives at home with me and has £3m available to access and doesn’t offer to lend family a loan to help them get out of an incredibly shitty housing situation I’d be rather unhappy with their character.

Personally I’d expect he could offer some help, you could even have a formal agreement drawn up by solicitors.

but to tell you he’s happy living at home and sitting on that money whilst you are desperate to move… wouldn’t be impressed.

if he used his money and moved out would you be able to buy and afford a smaller property?

If he’s got that much in bog standard current/savings, he isn’t much of an investor - therefore he DOESNT have that much. So he/you bullshitting.

I imagine what your friends are really thinking is this all sounds like bollocks, and if it's true why would his parents be living like that and/or wish you'd shut up about his wealth (why would your friends even know).

I don't know about buying outright, but I'd certainly be helping my parents get away from miserable living conditions.

Give your son a business proposition - buy the house and you’ll pay him X in interest.
or he buys the house and you pay him rent