Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour heard everything!

165 replies

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 12:30

So I have been divorced a year and have been talking to a guy for a good while (we have met a few times prior to this) anyway, we ended up back to my house one night and my neighbour heard the whole thing. To the point where she knocked on the wall. I want to die of embarrassment, I saw her the other morning and she usually says hi, nothing, I think she now hates me.

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 11/11/2025 18:06

SlashBeef · 11/11/2025 17:47

Cringe at the people saying she's jealous. Unpleasant undertones there.
I'd be pissed off at being disturbed by any noises.. relentless barking, loud music, sex noises. It's just common courtesy to be considerate of neighbours.

Exactly! People saying the woman/neighbour is jealous, sound about 14.

Daughterofthesea · 11/11/2025 18:06

I don’t understand why people have to make ridiculous loud noises during sex - it seems overly performative and cringeworthy to me.
I highly doubt she is jealous, she’s probably just got the ick.

BatchCookBabe · 11/11/2025 18:05

Wingingit73 · 11/11/2025 17:58

She's jealous lol how exciting to be judged improper. Well done and enjoy your relationship.

Jealous? FFS. No-one is jealous of someone screeching and howling while they shagging. 🙄Almost everyone shags. WTF should anyone be jealous? Daft thing to say!

BatchCookBabe · 11/11/2025 18:04

LeavesTrees · 11/11/2025 12:58

I suppose it depends what she heard and also if she has kids who also may have heard it.

My next door neighbours used to have noisy sex in the garden when they first moved in - the elderly neighbour the other side of them soon put a stop to that!

While it’s great for you, it’s often not very nice to hear it.

Yeah this. ^ No-one wants to hear your moans and groans and whining while you're having sex @Soembarrassedd 🙄

I always think people are trying to prove something when they're noisy having sex. It's almost always the woman too. Rarely the man howling. Yeah we get it babe, you're shagging. Big deal, almost everyone has done it luv. Wink

Be more quiet. No-one cares that you're shagging, it's just the attention-seeking 'hey look everyone I'm having a shag' screaming and wailing that people don't want to hear. It is NOT 'envy!' 🙄

I find it pathetic personally.

henlake7 · 11/11/2025 18:02

Just had a cringey thought.....what if she could always hear you with your ex and thought she finally had some peace and quiet.
Then you have a new bloke in and she can't take the thought of more nocturnal shenanigans and snaps!?

Goldwren1923 · 11/11/2025 17:58

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 12:37

It was the look she gave me, I felt so rubbish

Why? You should feel great.
you had great sex. So?

Wingingit73 · 11/11/2025 17:58

She's jealous lol how exciting to be judged improper. Well done and enjoy your relationship.

Missj25 · 11/11/2025 17:57

Missj25 · 11/11/2025 17:57

It’s not nice for them to hear it in their own house ..
You can say anything about the noises coning from a neighbour’s house to toddlers & primary aged children 🙄
That’s if they even heard .
She might be just a painful neighbour aswel

Show quote history

Coming

Missj25 · 11/11/2025 17:57

Dancingdance · 11/11/2025 17:35

Her children probably heard and asked questions. It’s not nice for children to hear loud sex, especially if they’re toddlers or primary school aged.

Show quote history

It’s not nice for them to hear it in their own house ..
You can say anything about the noises coning from a neighbour’s house to toddlers & primary aged children 🙄
That’s if they even heard .
She might be just a painful neighbour aswel

SoftBalletShoes · 11/11/2025 17:55

ThatCyanCat · 11/11/2025 17:32

You can be as loud as the hell you want.

LMFAO!!!!

DoggingDave · 11/11/2025 17:49

Next time you see her put your fist out for a fist bump. Then say soz for the noise ask how she is etc.

SlashBeef · 11/11/2025 17:47

Cringe at the people saying she's jealous. Unpleasant undertones there.
I'd be pissed off at being disturbed by any noises.. relentless barking, loud music, sex noises. It's just common courtesy to be considerate of neighbours.

Agapornis · 11/11/2025 17:41

Blame your landlord/builders of your house for not adding proper sound insulation. You're allowed a sex life.

If she doesn't want to hear the neighbours she should move somewhere else.

Climbingrosexx · 11/11/2025 17:41

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 16:31

I’m honestly not proud of it, I’m mortified

Maybe she is too, I might get wound up and knock on the wall then think "oh hell why did I do that"
If she is truely annoyed then thats on her if you are otherwise a good neighbour. So you got a bit carried away in your own home, hardly warrants a return of the asbo. You will laugh about it one day, maybe not today but you will get over it

Hereforthecommentz · 11/11/2025 17:38

Just ignore her, you don't need to be her best friend. She sounds ridiculous to be honest, what you do in your house is upto you. What a prude, I would have perhaps given you a knowing smile when I saw you or not acted any differently at all. It was the first time it's happened, I imagine you will be more quiet next time so forget about it.

hypnovic · 11/11/2025 17:37

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 17:22

My children were at their dads at the time and I just feel like such a bad person like she thinks I’m a bad mum because of it

Cut yourself some slack ..we all just live in our houses n if she so bothered you got some she cant wave then well f* her ..clearly no one else is

Dancingdance · 11/11/2025 17:35

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 13:12

I completely understand that and I do feel bad about it. I haven’t done it since. She does have children and I understand why she may have been annoyed

Show quote history

Her children probably heard and asked questions. It’s not nice for children to hear loud sex, especially if they’re toddlers or primary school aged.

Paulaloves · 11/11/2025 17:35

Fair play to you, OP. A year (possibly more?) is a long time to go without so I don’t think anyone on here will blame you for letting off some steam!

hypnovic · 11/11/2025 17:34

She's just jealous 😂

SandStormNorm · 11/11/2025 17:32

send her ear plugs in a christmas card.

Blodyneighbour · 11/11/2025 17:31

She may be jealous. Unless you were acting like a porn star. I was sitting outside in my garden a few times when my neighbours decided to go at it mid afternoon with all the windows open on a hot summers day while I had all my family round. Never said anyhthing to them though. They would have been mortified if I did.

GehenSieweiter · 11/11/2025 17:30

Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 17:22

My children were at their dads at the time and I just feel like such a bad person like she thinks I’m a bad mum because of it

Enjoying loud sex doesn't make you a bad mum, it might make you a slightly irritating neighbour. The thing is, she's being silly giving you the silent treatment, she needs to say something or let it slide. I wouldn't grovel. Hopefully she's not a gossip.

XWKD · 11/11/2025 17:25

Could you make up a story? "People were staying at my house and I've since heard that they were a bit boisterous."

Original poster
Soembarrassedd · 11/11/2025 17:22

My children were at their dads at the time and I just feel like such a bad person like she thinks I’m a bad mum because of it

OP posts: